Our Homeschool Class Photos :)

Ron's Crazy Comments

   Ron commenting on the images of himself in our Christmas card:
   "Oh my gosh!  It looks like a beaver left something on my head!"
   And, "It looks like I'm a fat, middle-aged man.  It looks like my medication isn't working!"

A Game Called: "Where It Goes"

     Annie is four and a half.  She leaves toys and messes wherever she goes!
     Yesterday I cleaned up all her toys, putting all the little pieces of her games in their right places all over the house.  Then I showed her my big "surprise"!  All her toys were in their right places!  Shockingly, she exclaimed, "All my lost toys!  You found them!"  That shows how big of a deal it is that a child's things are in their right places.  They cannot even conceptualize that they have a game that is just spread out.
     Then I said, "I have a new game for you!"  She was so excited.  "What's it called?"  she asked.
    "Where It Goes," I responded.
     I had her sit on the floor and close her eyes, the way many fun games begin.  Then I took one toy from the toy kitchens area, one doll dress, one hanger from the closet, and one brush, and I put them in a pile in the center of her room.  "Open your eyes!"  I exclaimed.  I told her, "I know that you know where SOME of these things go.  But if you can put ALL of them away, you get a sticker."  She put one thing up.  I cajoled, "Yeah, well that's just one.  But I bet you can't get the next one!"  And so forth.  The other girls were watching all this, and Leigh was giddy with excitement every time Annie put something in the right place.  They share a room, and Leigh has been constantly frustrated that Annie won't put things away.  None of us, really, could believe it, that Annie was doing it!
     When she got the last one in its right place, we all shouted, "Hooray!!!  She won the game!!!"  I told her we could get her a sticker.  She said, "Can I earn special time instead?"  The older kids earn 10 points to get time out alone with one parent.  I said, "Are you old enough for special time??  Okay!!"  And she squealed with delight.
     The truly amazing thing is that she asked several times that afternoon, "Can we play Where It Goes again?"  She even cried, telling me that Mary would not play Where It Goes with her!
     The even more amazing thing is that this morning, she took a cup out of the drawer, handled it a bit, and then set it down and started to walk away.  I said, "Oh Annie, let's play Where It Goes!  Where does it go?"  She put it back where it belongs.  I cheered, "Yay!!!!  You did it!!!!  You won a special time point!!"  And she ran and hugged me, and I tickled her and she laughed hard.  She is so, so proud of herself.  She also won another point when Leigh took her upstairs to get leggings to wear under her dress.  Leigh reported, "Annie took a bunch pif clothes out of her drawer, looking for the leggings.  Once she found some, she put them on.  But then, playing the game, she put all her remaining clothes back in the drawer and closed the drawer!"  Leigh was as thrilled as Annie, because now Leigh's room is still straight.
    We all win!!  It was an all day endeavor.  It took me a long time to get the toys where they belonged in the first place.  And then, adding things like hangers and clothes made it seem "upper level" or "advanced" to Annie.  But it was a big undertaking for me.  I had to get my will in line, and push through the big effort.  But it worked!  And now we have a family game to play, instead of tears and time outs, for the next several years until Annie is as good as all the older children at keeping their belongings in the right places.  Hooray!!  Hurdle cleared!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Becoming More Peaceful

    Every liturgical year, beginning in Advent, I choose one spiritual goal on which to work throughout the year.  I reflect: where am I rock bottom miserable in my behavior?  What am I really flubbing up?  I figure out what kind of virtue would correct that, and then I pray and work, pray and work, to improve in that area.
     As I wrote recently, this year's spiritual goal is joyful trust.  I recently looked back and noticed that last year's was peacefulness, and the year's before was speaking the truth in love.
     It is rather amazing to me to see how much I failed all the way through the past two years regarding those goals, but how now, when I reflect, I can see marked improvement in both areas that have managed to finally settle in.
     Baby Sebastian has brought a huge amount of peace into my life.  I expected the reverse, and fretted a good bit during the pregnancy with him how we would manage.  But once he arrived, all of that evaporated, and I am content just to get through the day--peacefully.  Planning our homeschool this year, I decided, "Our benchmarked won't be academic.  Rather, the year will be about personal relationships.  Let's just enjoy each other more than we ever have before."  Now, we do a TON of school each day.  Each of the three girls have a minimum of ten subjects each day.  But we are imperfect.  And I am just so happy to focus on personal relationships instead of academic perfection! I plan to homeschool these three girls all the way through high school, so we have time to catch up if we were to fall behind this year.  What is important for now is--peace.
   I am so surprised to realize that last year's goal, which seemed so impossible all through that year, my heart being a barren wasteland for peace, has finally taken root and a little blossom has finally bloomed!

Oh What Fun it is to. . . Prepare for Christmas!

I love Advent!  Come, Lord Jesus!

Eucharistic Motherhood

   My neck is out.  It hurts when I move it more than about 30 degrees.
   My back hurts.
   My jaw is tight and my eyes are bloodshot.
   It is so hard not getting more than 4 consecutive hours of sleep!  It is so hard getting out of bed three times per night in response to a crying baby!  It reeks havoc on your body!
   And then I recall: "This is my body, given for you."  In the Eucharist, Christ gives His body for us.  When we give our bodies to care for and nourish our children, we are a tiny, minuscule reflection of Christ's love for us.
   God, help me to see all these aches and pain as beautiful!

P90X3

     I am only 8 days away from the end of P90X3!  It is a 90 day workout that is intense: 30 minutes a day, 6 days a week, for 90 days.
     I have done the program in earnest: I even want to earn the t-shirt that we get for completing the program!  You have to send in "before" and "after" photos to get the shirt.  I know it's corny, but I just think of the shirt on tough workout days, and the very idea carries me through!
     One really funny moment today was that I was doing our Christmas cards online.  I was dragging photos around, trying to design our card.
     I almost dragged my "before" pictures onto our Christmas card!  Oh, how humiliating that would be!  I laughed all day thinking about it!

spiritual goal for the year

    Every year, I choose one thing that I need to work on, and make it my goal for the year.  The year is the liturgical year, which begins with Advent.  So, two weeks ago I began my new year, pursuing my new spiritual goal: joyful trust.
     Trust in God is hard for me.  I like to see the blueprints, the road map.  I don't currently see where my life is headed--will my book ever get published?  Will it be well received?  What impact will that have on my life?  What will my family life be like in a few years?  What needs to happen for me to feel like my life is a success?  Some days these questions are just so hard for me.
     So I am happily taking on "trust" as my year's goal.  But even that word sounds gloomy to me.  It sounds macabre, like I am walking through the valley of the shadow of death!  So, I have renamed my goal, "Joyful trust."  I am seeking the kind of trust that my children have.  They are happy, knowing that things will basically turn out well for them, because Ron and I are working so hard to ensure their happiness, safety, and personal fulfillment.
    I, too, want to have a childlike, joyful trust that my Father has a GREAT plan for me, whether the fulness of it be experienced here or in heaven.  I want to joyfully embrace what life brings, knowing that it all works to the fulfillment of God's purpose (Rom. 8:28).
    What I want more than anything is to be a "saint": not a canonized saint, but what the Bible means when it talks about the "saints."  I want to be one of the people of God, whose whole life is reborn and renewed and is living in the Spirit of God.  I want every aspect of my life and heart to be sanctified, and I want to be totally purified of all that is evil, ugly and sinful.  I want to shine in the world, shedding the light of Christ wherever I go.  I want my small, maternal actions to be big, holy work that makes a difference in the kingdom of God.

family photographs

   We just had Emily Alexander, a local photographer, shoot our family.  Oh, she is so talented!  We just loved her.
    Here are some of our pics on her blog.
http://www.emilyalexander.blogspot.com
     Thank you, Emily!

Salad Days!

   What I have come to see is that these are the very, very best days of my life.  None will compare.  I will spend the bulk of my older years thinking about these days: all 6 kids are born, the baby is still a tiny, adorable infant; we still have a 4 year old and she is sweetly precocious; Leigh and Clare are still grammar school age and play with dolls; Mary is a pre-teen and was BORN to be a pre-teen so fits the role well; Jacob is having the smoothest possible transition into teenage-hood I could imagine, making straight A's and loving his new classmates.  Our home is peaceful; the children are well behaved.  Ron is so loving and kind to me, always checking in with me and doing everything as a team.  I have completely let go of all things that I wish were different about our marriage, and so we have the world's kindest relationship.  We have never been more happily married.
    This vision is hard to remember.  The refrigerator is always half empty; the laundry is always piled high; the baby is always wanting to be held; the school work is never quite complete; I am always a little overweight; Ron has never gotten in today's run; the bills are always overdue; the dog got out of the yard; most of the light bulbs are out; the hammock still hangs down, half of it tied to a tree and the other half sagging on the ground.  
     But I am committed, completely committed, to seeing the glass half full.  Life just does not get better than having this huge, loving family.  Oh, how I thank God for this life!

Could it have come any slower?

Could the end of this school week have come any slower?
I am so grateful for a holiday next week!!   We all need a break.
I almost broke out into tears this morning when Clare answered her math problem regarding telling time that a quarter of an hour is ten minutes.
I think I yelled at her, although I can hardly remember.  I am just so tired and it is all such a blur.
And then Clare led her decade of the family Rosary tonight, going on and on and on until Ron finally interrupted her and said, "Clare, are you counting?  It seems like you are way past 10."  She confessed, "No, I'm not counting."
I don't think it is appropriate to get as upset as I did about Hail Mary's.  After all, a few too many Hail Mary's--is it possible to say too many prayers?
But goodness, I sure was mad!
Oh, how grateful I am for a break!  Even a Saturday!  I need to go hide out for a while and get some time alone!

Sweet Little Ones!!

writing a book

I am having such a joy-filled time writing my book!  I'm on my third version of it.  Each version is more mature, having culled successes and strength from previous ones: finding a literary voice, finding my message, and now identifying the audience, their needs, and so writing specifically to them. . . God help me!  The current title is Intimacy with Jesus Through Motherhood: A Catholic Mother Shares the Spirituality and Significance of Her Vocation.
    My hope is to give Catholic mothers encouragement in their ministry as mothers, both through giving them a fresh vision of the importance of the profession, as well as spiritual tools and insights that help us find Jesus in the ordinary day at home.

music fills the air

     My husband is playing his classical guitar right now as our kids swirl around him in our living room. Mary playing with the baby, Leigh is chasing Annie in circles, Clare is studying her song for the upcoming talent show, and Jake just proudly showed me his English paper for which he received an A-.
      I love our home.

Detachment

Oh, what a blessing it is to be a Christian!  And a Catholic one, at that!
     I walked into church this afternoon with such burdens, worries and inner turmoil.  I went to confession.  God bless the confessor.  He listened and understood.  He responded so clearly and poignantly.
    Then, after absolution and a blessing, I left and sat in a pew.  I prayed the Our Father, and dwelt upon each word.  After about half an hour, I had made it through half of the Our Father.  And it suddenly struck me: God makes a beautiful, gorgeous, exhaled picture out of humanity.  Each person is at God's disposal.  We might be lifted up; we might be broken down; we might be admired; we might be persecuted.  But as long as we yield to God's will and do not resist His plan, we will play the part God chooses for us.  And our part, even if it does not exalt us personally, exalt's God.  And that is the point.  When they pray, "Praise God," or "Blessed be God in the highest," what that means is, "I say 'Yes' to God being lifted up on high, no matter what my role is.  I am happy to be the smallest part, or the part that gets crushed or squashed or beaten down (like most of the figures in the Bible, like most saints, and certainly like Jesus Himself), if that means that the overall picture glorifies God."
    And so I learned all over again what "detachment" means: letting go of what appears to be, and embracing God, our Father, alone.

I feel like a fool

    I feel like such a fool.
    I have been writing a book.  I have been planning a ministry.  I have been working hard to shape it and make my professional plans.
     But yesterday, my friend was hurting.  She was really hurting in her heart.
     She stopped by for a few minutes and I sat with her, I spoke with her.  I found what I had done wrong.  I saw other things that she had done wrong, but could not yet hear.  She sat, defensive and mad and pained.
     I sat.
     I sat with her.
     I was WITH HER.
     I spoke words of understanding and love, but they were simple words.  Nothing flashy or genius.  I just let her know that I was, in my heart, right there WITH HER.
     That was all I did.  And yet it was the biggest, best ministry I can offer.
     Sitting with someone in their pain, and being a word of mercy, of tenderness, of compassion, IS TO BE CHRIST to them.  There is no ministry as powerful as BEING JESUS to someone.  That is the pinnacle of Christian ministry; it's the whole point.
     Speaking in a microphone or publishing a book is far, far down the totem pole, much more remote as a form of ministry.  People I do not know might hear words that impact them, and that can be good.  But teaching, as good as it is, not BEING CHRIST as such.  It is sharing Christ's truth, maybe. But that is not the same thing as seeing Jesus in the face of the person to whom you are ministering, and being Jesus yourself.
   
     I have this sort of ministry, of BEING WITH someone, in my homeschool: I am WITH my child as she learns, and I see where she is, and help her each day take one small step forward.  It is the step SHE needs.  Because it is designed just for her, it is being WITH her.
     I have this sort of ministry with my husband: he is certainly  AS CHRIST to me, and I try to be to him.  Being the person of Christ to my husband is my life's vocation, my life's ministry.
     Then I have friends and extended family members who, too, need Christ to be WITH THEM from time to time.  I love this ministry.
    So there you have it, my life's work.  My massive-impact, world-changing, incredibly popular, NewYork Times bestselling contribution: Love as BEING WITH someone in their moment of being small, finite, imperfect or hurt--one fabulous person at a time.
   

7 years left

     My good husband reminded me today that our second child, Mary, will be graduating and going to college in 7 years.  SEVEN YEARS??  That is so soon!  That is all I have left with her????
     I simply cannot comprehend how quickly it goes by.  I want to make the most of this time with her!!  I am so glad that we homeschool.  At least I get a good portion of those seven years!

Content

     Being content in all things: this is the key!
     "I have learned the secret of being content in all things, both when I am hungry, and in times of abundance," (Phil. 4).
     Sometimes I feel like I have nothing: my body is bloated, my eyes are puffy and red, my muscles ache from getting no sleep.  I cannot homeschool as I want to, I cannot clean my house as I want to, I cannot keep up with my prayers, with the news, with my correspondence as I want to.  When I have met friends and family of late, no one says, "Wow, you look great!"  Instead, they all gaze at me with a sheepish smile that bespeaks pity.  "Poor thing, she'll recover eventually," is what their look says.
       But I am content.  In my hunger, in my time of need, I am full.  I am overflowing with abundance.
      One of the overflowing blessings is that this is one of the choice times of life in which I have a tiny, cuddly, adorable baby.  I make a point each day, many times a day, to stop and look at him, swoon over him, and let myself be infatuated with him.  His face is exquisite.  His chubby legs and pointy toes are like those of a Reubens painting.  His dimpled hands and slender fingers are like those of a porcelain doll.  His chubby cheeks, perfectly round head and alert gaze are the signature features with which God endowed him.  He is a living, breathing miracle.  He is an act of God that wants to nestle into my embrace and be loved.
    Holding a miracle in my arms, I am richly blessed.

Flunking Our Way to the Top

     We fail all day, every day.  We fail to get the garbage out on time, we fail to teach long division, we fail to keep the house quiet so the baby can sleep.
      But in all of our failures, we have God, who is our peace.  Hence we succeed, even in the midst of our failures.
      Those who seek to save their lives will lose them, but those who seek to lose their lives will save them.

St. Therese Playing Angels We Have Heard On High

I know lots of saints

     Who are saints?  They are people who have been hurt, who have sinned, who have be wronged and challenged at every turn. . . like the rest of us.  

      Saints are the ones who let God write the story of His goodness, His mercy, His beauty, His triumph, through their lives.  

     What does it take to be a saint?  I think it takes faith in Jesus, it takes forgiveness and mercy, and it takes clinging to Providence, rather than fighting for our own will every step of the way.  

    On All Saints Day yesterday, I was in a conversation about saints.  

    Two of my children and I were in line for confession.  Clare asked me, "Who is Saint Monica?"  I said, "She was the mother of St. Augustine.  Monica was really upset because she was a Catholic mother, but her son was behaving badly, really badly.  He was a big sinner.  He had no faith, and was arrogant, and did lots of bad things.  He had a mistress and a child out of wedlock.  He was not at all in touch with God's love.  Well, Monica went to church every single day and begged for God's mercy, that her son would become a good Catholic.  She cried and begged every day.  Well guess what!  Augustine became a Christian.  And then, he became a priest.  And then he became a saint, one of the greatest theologians of all time!  Think of how powerful Monica was!  Think of how powerful her prayers must have been!"  

    Clare asked, "Did she do anything else?  It that the only reason she is a saint?" 

    I replied, "Yes, that's it.  The Catholic Church loves moms!  It sees and honors the moms who love intensely and pray fervently.  That's all you have to do to be a saint in the Catholic Church!"  

    I love that about this Church.  I know LOTS of saints!!  Seeing the other moms at P.E., seeing the moms within my family, they are everywhere!  They are all around me!  I love being surrounded by people whose whole life is based on love!  

Does any parent actually like Halloween?

There must be some parents who love Halloween--but I am surely not one of them!
     But will all that, it was still a successful one for the kids:
     Audrey Hepburn (my favorite of our kids' costumes ever)
     Rapunzel
     Queen Ester
     Aphrodite
     Friar Tuck
And Robin slept through the big night out!

Six Children!

Here is the first picture ever of our six children! 

How BLESSED we are!

Virtue Flowers

     The girls and I spent the afternoon updating their virtue flowers.  Each petal glued to the center has a virtue written on it that that child has acquired.  I LOVED hearing each child affirm what her sisters have already attained in virtue!  So supportive of each other!
    Then, feeling good about themselves, we each identified one thing that each girl is working on.  We wrote that on a petal that we then taped to the stem.  Once that virtue is attained, we'll glue it on with the others!

   To see them up close, double click on the image.

So darn cute!!

How do you spell butter?

Perfect Circumstances

God's purpose is not to perfect our circumstances.
His purpose is to perfect our souls.  Sometimes our imperfect circumstances--ones that weigh heavily, ones that sting, ones that dig deep--are loving given by God to make us saints.  We are perfected only through lots and lots of grace, and it is never our own merit.  But the Sermon on the Mount makes it abundantly clear that God wants our perfection!  And that comes at the price of a life that suits us, a life that goes the way we want.
    As soon as life detours and becomes not at all what we imagined, it is so wise to think: "Oh!  I get it!  God is trying to re-shape my heart in some way!  What is He trying to build up in me?"
   

So funny

     I laughed all afternoon!  I was in church and this very old lady who had lost most of her mind was talking at passersby as she was able.  Much of what she said made no sense.  She was so adorable and I felt great affection for her.
    Well, she plopped down on a bench and declared to the air in front of her, "I will now begin my rosary!"  And she began with the sign of the cross.  Usually we say, "In the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit, Amen."  
    But she said, "In the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost--and I assure you that He is NOT a ghost!"
    Whom was she assuring?  I am not sure!  But it was really cute!  

John Paul II

   Today is the first feast day ever of our new saint, St. Joh Paul II.
    I was just watching a show on the Catholic TV station, EWTN, with these two adorable, humble, rotund little British ladies presenting the life of this man.
   What is so beautiful to me is not only his undying love for family as the primary way that Christ's love is manifest in this present world, and motherhood in particular, but also his theological idea premise that only in the light of Christ do people know themselves at all.
     Today I have several people in my life who find the idea of people being sinful and in need of conversion repulsive.  To them, it is like self-hatred and self-denegration to call oneself a sinner.  They think of Christianity's message that we are in need of conversion because we are sinners as warped.
    But here is St. John Paul II saying that we can only know ourselves properly in light of Christ's message, that we need God, rather desperately, and are only at peace when we have become His child.  Yes, conversion is a part of this message.
    I think John Paul II wins the day.  I think in the end, it is only right to see that we are inclined toward brokenness--we are broken, and are hurt by other broken people--and need God to help us transcend, become like royalty, so that we can forgive others, and stop hurting others, and become the  little children, safe in the arms of God, that we are meant to be.

Being at Peace

     When the baby is up all night, we can be at peace that at least we have this precious baby in the first place.
     When the kids do something wrong, we can be at peace that at least we have them in our lives at all.
      When the house falls apart, we can be at peace that at least we have a roof over out heads.
      When others do not like what we say, at least we have people in our lives to love, and to learn to love well even when they present challenges to us.
      When we feel overwhelmed, we can be at peace that God made us out of absolutely nothing, and that everything God makes is wonderfully and fearfully made.  Praise be to God for life!

praying

     For family prayers last night, several kids asked if we could do a guided meditation.  So I prayed aloud, asking each of us to envision ourselves in the lap of "Abba," Father.  Then I reflected on the universe He created, enumerating many aspects of it.  Finally I said, "And the same God that made all of that, made you."  I asked each one to think about who they are, what their talents and hits are, what is special about them.  I said that God made that, very intentionally.  "You are fearfully and wonderfully made," says the Psalmist.
     Then each one had the chance to ask God to fill them up with one thing they are lacking: patience, kind words, reverence for God, obedience, etc.  They kept that part silent.   Then we silently asked for forgiveness for something we have done wrong.  We closed with thanksgiving for His love for us.
    Most of the kids were in tears by the end of it.  I was not really sure why.  Then little Leigh was truly shaken up, saying through her tears that it was so awful to imagine Jesus dying on the cross for us.  I was touched.  Clearly the Holy Spirit said far more to her than anything I had uttered!
    What I learned last night was how, whatever our efforts are, God is the one who works on our hearts, and if we give Him just a little bit, He can do far more than we imagined!

Happy Birthday, Sebastian!

Two Months Old!

And PERFECT!  

Our Dumb Dog

Our dumb dog got out of our fence and was running through the nearby construction site.  It was sad but hilarious watching construction workers sprinting around with our girls, trying to catch her!  This is kids in the car post-chase.

God Speaks the Language of Mothers

   God knows how to speak to me.  When He really wants to communicate an important message, He often speaks in my "Mom" language.
    A year ago, I was seeking spiritual direction.  My pleading with God was to help me overcome my own pride, my own will.  I was ready to make a "self-oblation," to make a sacrifice--like Abraham placing his son Isaac on the altar--of my self.  I no longer wanted to be in charge of my life.  I wanted to give myself entirely over to God.  But I kept finding myself taking the driver's seat.  I patronizingly "let" God support me, help me, and answer my prayers.  (So disgusting!)  
     Then God snuck a baby into my life.  It was practically impossible for little Sebastian to be conceived.  I protested and said to God, "How could you?  I am too weak!  Too tired!  Too discombobulated!  No, no no!"  For nine months of pregnancy, I protested in my heart.
    Do you see?  God was being in charge--and I was no longer in charge.  I did NOT see.  I did not see that this was exactly what I had been praying for.  I was no longer in charge.  God was being in charge, just like I had asked.
    Now that Sebastian is with us, I am infatuated with him.  Right now as I type, he is in my lap smiling at me.  I cannot express my motherly infatuation with him!  He is precious, and I have never enjoyed a baby so much.  I swoon when I look at him; I coo and gurgle at him; I well up with delight every time I say eyes on him.
    My determination--my controlling spirit--of having no more children is gone.  God healed me of my will, of my stubborn pride.  Sure, anyone can set her eyes on a goal and work toward it.  But I had been worse than that: I had not left room for God to think differently.  I had certainly not left room for Him to over-ride my decision.
    Now I am healed.  I have a preference (not to have more children) but I can say honestly that it is in God's hands.  I can finally say, "Let it be done to me according to Your will."  Finally!  I was a hard nut to crack.  It took a year.
    And look!  Sebastian is the minister of God's message. He is indeed an angel!
    God taught me, through pregnancy, and through my baby's adorable chubby cheeks and tiny frame.  Holding and rocking this baby, gazing at him, is how God said to me, "Okay, I will let you make a total oblation of your self.  I will be in charge of you.  Trust me.  I know what is good for you."  And it is through my being a mother to this sixth child that I have happily consented and submitted my will to our good God.

King Tut

Leigh (age 7) has a GREAT impersonation of Steve Martin's "King Tut!"
Here's Steve Martin's:
         https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wgTPH5y1-ZI
It's really worth watching if you need to brighten your day!

Image of the Image

   Ron and I were talking tonight, and he told me that the Early Church Fathers often spoke of Christ as the "Image" of God, and of the faithful as the "Image of the Image."
    Then Ron said that St. Gregory of Nyssa only spoke of the corporate group of us as the "Image of the Image."  No one of us is the Image, but that only collectively can we be like Jesus.  That was a powerful thought to me!  We have to work together!

Tirimisu for Mothers

   Did you know that Tirimisu is a mother's food?  It was invented (according to legend, anyway) by an Italian grandmother, whose daughter had just had a baby.  The daughter was exhausted from pregnancy, labor, and newborn life.  The grandmother thought, "My daughter needs a pick me up!"  So she invented Tirimisu--which means "Pick me up" in Italian--throwing a little coffee, a little rum, and a little sugar together as a light and fluffy treat.
    I just made some from scratch and THIS mother of a newborn--exhausted from pregnancy, labor, and newborn life--was more than refreshed!
    "Pick me up," anytime!

Sacred Heart

    The girls and I began our day on Friday with Mass.  First Friday Masses are often thought of as in celebration of the Sacred Heart of Jesus.
    In the car ride home, I told that to the girls.  They asked, "What is the point of that?"  I said, "At one time in Europe, Christians had become very legalistic.  They were trying to earn their way to heaven.  Jesus appeared to a little, unimportant nun named Margaret Mary Alacoque, and revealed to her that His heart was full of love--reminding them of what the Gospel really shows.  He said that He is not interested in people's perfection (in the legalistic sense), but in loving and forgiving them when they are not.  He said He just loves it when we know we have failed, and ask for forgiveness.  This is how to enter into a relationship with Him--not to try to impress Him from afar."  It was a fun and refreshing conversation.  We all now want to attend all First Friday Masses, just to remind ourselves of this loving declaration from Jesus.

Relax!

   I am learning how to relax when things aren't going well!
   I was in the check out line at the grocery store, and the clerk seemed impatient and upset with large loads of groceries.  He preferred small loads.  I thought, "He's going to be here for his 8 hour shift--what does it really matter whether one basket is full or not full?"
    I used to act like I was "on salary": hurrying to get to the next thing and frustrated if I was in a place I did not want to be for too long.
    But now I have shifted to acting as though I am "hourly": I'm going to work till I drop at the end of the day, so what does it matter if something is taking too long?
    It is actually a lovely change!  I love it!

Busting Your Burble

     Such a loopy time!  I drive to pick up my preschooler at the wrong time; I ask my husband what we are making for dinner when he has just told me; I walk to the car with no keys, no diaper bag, no car seat.  My brain is walking around in circles, as am I; we're just not walking the same path!
     The girls, prone to giggling anyway, have found all this especially humorous.  We have laughed and laughed over last week's weird new phrase: "I hate to bust your burble!" (Burst your bubble.)  I said that, quite by accident.  We laughed till we cried.  The girls are still telling each other that they hate to bust each other's burbles!!

First Smile!!

   Sebastian gave his Daddy his first smile ever!  Ron has a knack with making people smile.  It is no wonder that Sebastian smiled for him first!

My Favorite Movies

   I am in search of great movies!  Being home-bound as much as I am--who wants to stay out long with a delicate  newborn?--good movies are a pleasant reprieve.  But I am running out!  If anyone has great ideas, please let me know!
   My favorites of all time are:
-Enchanted April
-Dan in Real Life
-Cool Hand Luke
-Run Fat Boy Run
-Rudy
-Bend It Like Beckham
-New In Town
-Notting Hill
-Knight and Day
-Jesus of Nazareth (Zeffirelli)
-Brother Sun Sister Moon
-St. Rita
-Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dream Coat
-Pride and Prejudice (with Colin Firth)
-Midnight in Paris
-Les Miserables

An Aged Mother

   The benefits of age--of being middle aged--are taking me by surprise!
   For the first time, after five other babies, I am experiencing the overwhelming wonder and awe of how tiny my baby is!
    For the first time I am amazed at how vulnerable my baby is!
    For the first time, I am infatuated beyond words with this tiny creature, and in a constant state of adoration!
    My age has given me a healthy distance.  In my yonder years, I was a bit shocked, a bit scared, and a bit unsure of myself.  As attached as I was to each baby, I carried an uncertainty with me, and a fear that I wasn't doing it "right."  Newborns, after all, are shockingly dependent on their moms, and moms have a huge responsibility to their little bundle.
    But having thought I was done with having infants, and now returning to it, I have a perspective of hindsight that is all new for me.  The experience is fresh.  With this freshness I have sheer delight, almost no fear or anxiety, and abundant gratitude for this little creature, not much more in substance than a loaf of bread or a doll.  And yet he is alive; he clings to me, nestles against my chest and rests well only in my arms; only hearing my voice and sensing my touch is he truly at peace.  
     The miracle of it--this is a cliche.  Yet the miraculous aspect of this new, live person, is poignantly brought into full view, as age has swept away my concerns and left room for nothing but wonder, awe, and an embrace of pure love.

Sebastian's Baptism!

   I was so struck yesterday how very Lutheran/Calvinistic infant baptism is.  There is NOTHING an infant does to cooperate with or earn salvation; there are no "works" at all.  Infant baptism shouts "God's grace alone is what saves us!"
    Sebastian's baptism was the happiest event I've participated in, in a long time.  Oh, the joy!
   We have 100 people at our home afterwards!  65 children!  And yes, we are still cleaning the crumbs out of our furniture!!

Sleep!

     Sleep is such a precious commodity!  Sebastian used to wake at midnight, 3 AM, 4AM, 5 AM, 6 AM, and the get up for the day at 7 AM.
     But now he is skipping the midnight feeding, and sleeping until 3 or 4 AM.  Then again at 5 AM, and then at 7 AM.  Three times is SUCH a huge improvement!!
     Plus, sleeping from 9 PM till 4 AM is 7 straight hours--this is fabulous!!
   

Impressionable

Oh how impressionable children are!
My girls saw Frozen a few too many times this summer, and were constantly singing the songs around the house.  it was unnerving to everyone who was not actually singing.
So as we have begun school, I have introduced music--just vocals.  We choose one song, pick out the tune on the piano, and then sing it over and over until we've all really got it.
Now they sing these songs, seemingly in perpetuity!
It is shocking how easily re-directed they are!
Really, all people are impressionable.  It matters what we spend our time thinking about, looking and and focusing on.  May we choose wisely!

A privilege

   Up all night--three hours straight of a fussy baby.  Maybe he is a little sick, as I was sick this weekend.  Maybe he is sore and uncomfortable from all the doctors have done to him.  Maybe he is just--a newborn.
    Then in the daytime, the girls need me to help them go through their new books and make a plan for school this year.  Annie needs attention--her "phase in" of 2 hours of school a day for the first week is making her feel deprived of real school, while the other kids are doing a full day of school.  So Annie is high strung.  Everyone needs so much.  It is hard to attend to it all on, perhaps, 5 hours of sleep?
     But really, it is all a tremendous privilege.  I get to care for this little, tiny guy.  I get to homeschool my girls.  I get to talk about school with Jake when he gets home.  I get to have a house brimming with life and singing and skipping and games and cooking and discussion.  We are having the time of our life.
   I just have to remember that at 4 AM!  
   

Back to School!

   We have begun school, at least in small increments.  Today, we actually accomplished almost a full day!  8-9 subjects per girl!
    Jake is loving Cistercian, his new school.  Today he made the cross-country team and so far he gotten all of his homework completed.
    What a blessing!

precious-ness!!!!!!!!!!!

happiest week ever!

what an angel baby!!!!!

I've never had such a happy postpartum week.  

praise be to God!

3 days old and back at home :)

one day old!

Looks just like his Daddy!  But really light hair.  A blond Ron. . . hmmm. . . JAKE!  

Alert in the night his very first night, when everyone is quiet and the lights are low.  Mom and baby have the chance to get to say "Hi and I love you!" for the first time!

three hours old!