Today was one of those days I got to begin with lots of prayer time. I had several hours to read the Scripture and have silence. It was really consoling. I actually prayed about how I do not want the quarantine to end: all the driving other people around, having meetings, doing s-t-u-f-f; the social pressures on all the kids, the wear and tear of daily life at school where some kids ignore you, others laugh at you, others set the bar higher than you can jump that day. Social life at school is harder than I realize. And all the kids are much lighter and happier without it.
Where will be be next year? Will the kids go to the same schools? Will we even be in Italy any longer? Despite some effort at figuring out our future, I am at a complete loss. The pandemic is so baffling, so incredibly hard to comprehend, partly because we cannot see the end of it. It was much more comforting in the early days when they said, "Stay home for 2 weeks so we can flatten the curve." That is a laugh-out-loud joke now. While Italy is showing a little bit of improvement with some smaller daily numbers of cases and deaths, the government has been clear that any relaxing of the quarantine will be very slow and in stages. This is a long-term event and I am curious about how the U.S. fares in comparison to Italy. Most Americans in Italy don't want to go back to the U.S. since its measures are so relaxed. It seems much more dangerous there. Living with the dramatic "Unknown" is something I am having to get comfortable with. In truth, we never know the future. We might live with the illusion we can see ahead, but truly, life can take huge, unexpected turns at any moment. So I suppose this way of life is just more true. What a mystery life is.
Tuesday, March 31, 2020
Day 26--Manic Monday
Somehow as the weeks go by, the family gets sweeter. Annie is in heaven getting to talk on the phone with her friend Maria back home; Clare is overjoyed not to have to go to school and all the kids celebrate a reduction in total work-time since class time inevitably results in some wasting of time.
Sebastian might be the one best effected by the quarantine. He is in a match-box house crammed with his seven favorite people. There is always someone to sword fight, someone to paint or do Play-Dough with. Annie has become very good at being with him. Today I spent several hours organizing his toys into categories: Ancient (gladiators), Medieval (knights), police, outer space, and farm (all tiny pieces from sets). Then there are the other bins for stuffed animals, weapons and costumes. He played for hours and hours--all day--without a peep. He was so happy to dive into his imaginary worlds.
For a child who used to throw fits regularly and frequently, they are just G-O-N-E. He runs into my lap, hugs and kisses me, tells me he loves me. He obeys, and when he does not, he giggles and we all get a good laugh. His rebellion has disappeared. He also used to have a resistance to eating. I worried that he had acid reflux. We gave him an over-the-counter medication for 6 months to remedy it. But now, he eats full portions. It may take lots of reminders to take a bite, but he is now eating three-egg tacos or a whole bowl full of pasta or 2 bowls of Greek yogurt at one sitting. He loves green beans and green peas--a mother's dream! This is pretty big improvement. He is the opposite temperament from Jacob: Sebastian is silly and very emotional. Jacob was such a stoic, gentle, observant, careful child, determined to do right. Sebastian just has a different approach to life. But very sweetly, he sleeps with a teddy bear and a crucifix.
Sebastian might be the one best effected by the quarantine. He is in a match-box house crammed with his seven favorite people. There is always someone to sword fight, someone to paint or do Play-Dough with. Annie has become very good at being with him. Today I spent several hours organizing his toys into categories: Ancient (gladiators), Medieval (knights), police, outer space, and farm (all tiny pieces from sets). Then there are the other bins for stuffed animals, weapons and costumes. He played for hours and hours--all day--without a peep. He was so happy to dive into his imaginary worlds.
For a child who used to throw fits regularly and frequently, they are just G-O-N-E. He runs into my lap, hugs and kisses me, tells me he loves me. He obeys, and when he does not, he giggles and we all get a good laugh. His rebellion has disappeared. He also used to have a resistance to eating. I worried that he had acid reflux. We gave him an over-the-counter medication for 6 months to remedy it. But now, he eats full portions. It may take lots of reminders to take a bite, but he is now eating three-egg tacos or a whole bowl full of pasta or 2 bowls of Greek yogurt at one sitting. He loves green beans and green peas--a mother's dream! This is pretty big improvement. He is the opposite temperament from Jacob: Sebastian is silly and very emotional. Jacob was such a stoic, gentle, observant, careful child, determined to do right. Sebastian just has a different approach to life. But very sweetly, he sleeps with a teddy bear and a crucifix.
Monday, March 30, 2020
Super Sunday
What a blessing it was to watch and participate virtually in a Mass offered and live-streamed by the Dominicans in California--my professor at the Angelicum recommended it and our family tuned in. The priest gave an outstanding homily.
I also spent 11 hours refilming and editing yet another version of the video podcast for Mighty Is Her Call. It turned into a very funny, enjoyable experience by the end. That shows at the end of the clip. Here it is: https://youtu.be/fuwL1_bDNJE
I am amazed at how much I have learned since the founding of Mighty Is Her Call: how to make graphics, thumbnails, videos (which I used to make for all the retreats). Now we have our own YouTube channel. Very exciting!
I also spent 11 hours refilming and editing yet another version of the video podcast for Mighty Is Her Call. It turned into a very funny, enjoyable experience by the end. That shows at the end of the clip. Here it is: https://youtu.be/fuwL1_bDNJE
I am amazed at how much I have learned since the founding of Mighty Is Her Call: how to make graphics, thumbnails, videos (which I used to make for all the retreats). Now we have our own YouTube channel. Very exciting!
Saturday, March 28, 2020
Day 24--Fun Fun Fun
Such a fun Saturday! Lovely day. New groceries make for a happy party: s'mores, alcohol-free sparkling wine for kids, grilling outside. We are enjoying a clean house and happy times around the table together. #Ilovequarantine
Day 23--Becoming a Podcaster
As the kids did their schoolwork I worked on a video podcast for Mighty Is Her Call. I have been trying to pull this off for TWO WEEKS. It is much, much harder than it seems!! I wanted to share messages of encouragement for mothers struggling with all the things I too have been going through during this pandemic. But goodness-gracious, it is incredibly hard to produce a good quality podcast, hit the right tone, and have a concise message that is neither boring and what everyone already knows, nor so "know it all" that it seems condescending (which I do not mean in my heart, but offering a podcast does set up that kind of dynamic, I have realized). I have bought equipment, work on a little staging, and Jacob made me a graphic. I have written, filmed, scrapped it; re-written, filmed, and scrapped it again, multiple times. I have prayed, begged for inspiration, asked friends for advise, asked my kids for consolation, prayed some more, and given my all to this undertaking.
I have ended this day, knowing that the 5 minute clip I worked for 8 hours on is worthy of the little trash icon on the bottom right of my computer screen. But I do not despair: every good podcaster had to learn how to podcast, and had to put in many hours refining his or her work. So, I know that this is just a part of the undertaking.
I had originally wanted to create a video podcast about motherhood in general, but when the pandemic hit, I shifted my interest to doing something for Mighty Is Her Call.
When this MIHC podcast series is over (and it may not happen at all), I will resume my efforts for my own podcast. I am sure everything I am learning now will be helpful to that end.
Who knows if I will post anything for MIHC. Only God knows! As Ron says, "Apparently you have about 12-18 months to produce something to your liking!" Sad but true.
I have ended this day, knowing that the 5 minute clip I worked for 8 hours on is worthy of the little trash icon on the bottom right of my computer screen. But I do not despair: every good podcaster had to learn how to podcast, and had to put in many hours refining his or her work. So, I know that this is just a part of the undertaking.
I had originally wanted to create a video podcast about motherhood in general, but when the pandemic hit, I shifted my interest to doing something for Mighty Is Her Call.
When this MIHC podcast series is over (and it may not happen at all), I will resume my efforts for my own podcast. I am sure everything I am learning now will be helpful to that end.
Who knows if I will post anything for MIHC. Only God knows! As Ron says, "Apparently you have about 12-18 months to produce something to your liking!" Sad but true.
Friday, March 27, 2020
Day 22--Peace
Where does peace come from? In this epidemic-quarantine, I have come to believe that the first step toward peace is seeing a purpose for the crisis. For me, this is love, specifically in our family having this time to be together before the older ones leave for good. I have spent so many years pulling us together; it is nice to have this slo-mo sequence of being together before the party ends.
The second step is generosity, acts of service. How many thousands of ways can we do that when quarantined at home? Cooking a nice meal, cleaning a stinky bathroom, helping with homework.
The third step is humility, knowing that we just don't know what is happening, how long this is going to last, and what life is going to look like "on the other side." Humility is medicine for the heart and relieves so many burdens.
The last step is rejoicing and delighting. I delighted today in helping Mary with her philosophy homework, teaching her Aristotle. I delighted in cannelloni with fresh pecora ricotta. I delighted in the rain that fell lightly on the trees outside our window. I delighted in Sebastian's laugh and his hugs.
In the big picture, my peace mainly comes from having one foot beyond this life, an identity in God. "He is kept in perfect peace whose mind is kept on Him" (Is. 26:3).
The second step is generosity, acts of service. How many thousands of ways can we do that when quarantined at home? Cooking a nice meal, cleaning a stinky bathroom, helping with homework.
The third step is humility, knowing that we just don't know what is happening, how long this is going to last, and what life is going to look like "on the other side." Humility is medicine for the heart and relieves so many burdens.
The last step is rejoicing and delighting. I delighted today in helping Mary with her philosophy homework, teaching her Aristotle. I delighted in cannelloni with fresh pecora ricotta. I delighted in the rain that fell lightly on the trees outside our window. I delighted in Sebastian's laugh and his hugs.
In the big picture, my peace mainly comes from having one foot beyond this life, an identity in God. "He is kept in perfect peace whose mind is kept on Him" (Is. 26:3).
Thursday, March 26, 2020
Day 21--Change of Pace
Being exactly three weeks into our stay-at-home mandate, I can say that I have officially adjusted to the new change of pace. I still have a wave of fear or disorientation about once a day. But most of the time, I have grown happily accustomed to the gentle slowness of our quarantined way of life.
After a full day of work--he puts hours and hours into each podcast he creates for his students as he teaches them from across the ocean--Ron took the little kids outside to play soccer and start a fire to roast some meat. I started dinner in the kitchen. I played the grooviest music I have and danced as I cooked sweet potatoes, cabbage and carrots. Every single kid was upbeat, happy, and could laugh about the day in its ups and downs. As we sat around the dinner table, a cheerful conversation morphed into Sebastian starting to play charades. He told us to guess who he was. That turned into a long game and then that transitioned nicely into family prayers.
It's all so bittersweet. I fear sickness when the doctors offices and hospitals are over-run. I fear the economic collapse and the daunting unknown. Every day I await the bad news, and I'm not even sure what it is. As Clare has pointed out, we now get excited talking about the death toll when it is only hovering around 600 per day. That is just sad. I marvel at our changed world.
And yet I rejoice, more than words can express, at this chance to go slow, be home, and be present. I listen to the scratch of a pencil as one child draws; I observe another one walk across the room in her messy bun, fluffy socks and sweatpants; I listen to one child sword fight and another laugh as she catches up with friends on FaceTime. I realize that this is all about to vanish. The quarantine might be 40 more LONG days. But only 40. Then we will return to driving kids to soccer and then to a friend's house and then to ballet. We will rush to put on dinner while helping someone with math facts. We will return to being fast-paced, productive and inattentive. We will return to feeling financially secure and confident that we are healthy and safe. And yet we will forget to just stop and be present. We will stop savoring the beauty of the imperfect, the perfection of the ordinary. We will stop relishing and delighting in the intoxication of just being there, just being with each other.
After a full day of work--he puts hours and hours into each podcast he creates for his students as he teaches them from across the ocean--Ron took the little kids outside to play soccer and start a fire to roast some meat. I started dinner in the kitchen. I played the grooviest music I have and danced as I cooked sweet potatoes, cabbage and carrots. Every single kid was upbeat, happy, and could laugh about the day in its ups and downs. As we sat around the dinner table, a cheerful conversation morphed into Sebastian starting to play charades. He told us to guess who he was. That turned into a long game and then that transitioned nicely into family prayers.
It's all so bittersweet. I fear sickness when the doctors offices and hospitals are over-run. I fear the economic collapse and the daunting unknown. Every day I await the bad news, and I'm not even sure what it is. As Clare has pointed out, we now get excited talking about the death toll when it is only hovering around 600 per day. That is just sad. I marvel at our changed world.
And yet I rejoice, more than words can express, at this chance to go slow, be home, and be present. I listen to the scratch of a pencil as one child draws; I observe another one walk across the room in her messy bun, fluffy socks and sweatpants; I listen to one child sword fight and another laugh as she catches up with friends on FaceTime. I realize that this is all about to vanish. The quarantine might be 40 more LONG days. But only 40. Then we will return to driving kids to soccer and then to a friend's house and then to ballet. We will rush to put on dinner while helping someone with math facts. We will return to being fast-paced, productive and inattentive. We will return to feeling financially secure and confident that we are healthy and safe. And yet we will forget to just stop and be present. We will stop savoring the beauty of the imperfect, the perfection of the ordinary. We will stop relishing and delighting in the intoxication of just being there, just being with each other.
Tuesday, March 24, 2020
Day 20--Tuesday Teatime
Today we heard that the Italian quarantine for the whole country is being extended until May 5. . . that is. . . like. . . 40 more days or more. Cannot-compute!
We made scones for our Tuesday Teatime! https://youtu.be/WuUMZz7HYvQ
We made scones for our Tuesday Teatime! https://youtu.be/WuUMZz7HYvQ
Monday, March 23, 2020
Day 19--Beautiful Mess
We are having a peaceful Monday. Kids are doing schoolwork online, Annie is planting apple seeds from her apple outside; Ron is working and playing guitar during his breaks; I am about to make homemade bread, sea bass in parchment, and cannelloni (inspired by Uncle David who asked me if the cannelloni is good over here).
Here is such a sweet letter, google translated, sent by the priests of our high school to our kids. It brings tears to my eyes that the high schoolers' "beautiful mess" gives the priests a joy that is the reason for their being! I love these priests.
Dear Students,
Through these few simple lines, our fraternal greeting reaches each and every one of you and your families.
For almost two weeks we have been in this very particular situation. Necessarily our lives are crossed by a sort of "Copernican revolution": a distortion of existences such as to find ourselves "barricaded" in our homes. Faced with this shocking moment, we try, as children of Don Bosco, to look at everything with hope, with that healthy optimism that makes us go forward together, towards that holiness that can now be realized in each of us right where we are!
The corridors and classrooms of our school, the fields and environments of our community, live that unusual silence that is not comparable to the silence that we would sometimes like to find in moments of particular trouble. it is too empty a silence: we miss you. At the same time, it is a rich silence, because inhabited by the living God that opens us to the hope of hearing once again and soon your "beautiful mess" that fills us with joy! That joy that gives meaning to our being consecrated to God with the heart and style of Don Bosco.
Everything shivers for your waiting and your return will finally be a new spring, a new season, which will no longer leave room for the tormented winter time we are experiencing.
Right now what we don't want is that you feel alone! For this reason, if you need it, do not hesitate to contact us as you did at school. Not only do you not disturb us, but we are pleased!
A big hug!
Don Marco and Don Francesco
Here is such a sweet letter, google translated, sent by the priests of our high school to our kids. It brings tears to my eyes that the high schoolers' "beautiful mess" gives the priests a joy that is the reason for their being! I love these priests.
Dear Students,
Through these few simple lines, our fraternal greeting reaches each and every one of you and your families.
For almost two weeks we have been in this very particular situation. Necessarily our lives are crossed by a sort of "Copernican revolution": a distortion of existences such as to find ourselves "barricaded" in our homes. Faced with this shocking moment, we try, as children of Don Bosco, to look at everything with hope, with that healthy optimism that makes us go forward together, towards that holiness that can now be realized in each of us right where we are!
The corridors and classrooms of our school, the fields and environments of our community, live that unusual silence that is not comparable to the silence that we would sometimes like to find in moments of particular trouble. it is too empty a silence: we miss you. At the same time, it is a rich silence, because inhabited by the living God that opens us to the hope of hearing once again and soon your "beautiful mess" that fills us with joy! That joy that gives meaning to our being consecrated to God with the heart and style of Don Bosco.
Everything shivers for your waiting and your return will finally be a new spring, a new season, which will no longer leave room for the tormented winter time we are experiencing.
Right now what we don't want is that you feel alone! For this reason, if you need it, do not hesitate to contact us as you did at school. Not only do you not disturb us, but we are pleased!
A big hug!
Don Marco and Don Francesco
Sunday, March 22, 2020
Day 18--Pasta Carbonara
We are having a GREAT day. The weather is gorgeous, the kids are playing soccer, and everyone is getting rested and well fed. (If you double click the video, it will play better. See Sebastian's groovy soccer dance.)
Carbonara alla Tuscolana
After many failed attempts (some of my kids were sure they did not like pasta carbonara after I messed up so badly), I have finally gotten it down. Here is the Rombs Pasta Carbonara recipe, which avoids egg whites, onion and cream--all "No No's" in Lazio. This is a recipe for 8 people, so divide it if you are cooking for fewer people. I have affectionally called it Carbonara alla Tuscolana since we live on Via Tuscolana in Frascati.
2 boxes of spaghetti (500g each)
240g of diced smoked pancetta or guanciale
15 egg yolks
1 cup grated fresh parmesan and/or pecorino cheese
salt and pepper
garlic powder
1. Cook the spaghetti al dente.
2. Brown the pancetta and sprinkle some garlic powder on it as it becomes brown, enough to basically coat the pancetta (you can brown fresh diced garlic if you prefer, but we actually prefer the powder).
3. Beat the egg yolks with a whisk and add the fresh grated cheese and stir.
4. When the pasta is cooked, strain it, leaving about 1 cup of the hot water in the pot.
5. In a large mixing bowl, mix together the strained pasta with the egg/parmesan mixture. Sprinkle generously with salt and pepper. Gently mix over and over until the spaghetti strands are coated with the egg yolk mixture. It is important to taste it at this point and make sure it has enough salt; many people really like a good amount of pepper, so don't be shy.
6. If it is a bit grainy/dry, add one tablespoon of the hot water at a time, mixing after each addition, until the coating on the spaghetti is smooth and velvety.
7. Place a serving of mixed carbonara in each dish. Add more sprinkled parmesan on top if you wish.
Notes:
~Many recipes call for entire eggs but the egg whites make it more slippery and my kids can't stand it. I experimented until I landed on the 15 yolk solution. I make an egg white omelette out of the whites.
~The trick about the egg is for it to be neither raw nor scrambled. The egg mixture added to the spaghetti just as it is strained heats the egg up enough to raise its temperature without cooking it too much. Recipes all call for different processes, like placing the strained spaghetti back in the cooking pan and mixing the eggs there, but with my equipment, that is too hot and scrambles the eggs. Many other techniques are proposed in the universe of recipes. I find that using a large mixing bowl, mixing immediately after straining, and adding a little bit of reserved cooking water is the magical combination.
~My kids love the pancetta so I use a lot. But if I were cooking just for my husband and myself, I would you less. You do not need exact measurements; just add as much as you like.
~Guanciale is "cheek" and often the preferred meat in our region. Pancetta is perfectly fine and I have even used bacon. Its less Italian but a delicious meal anyway.
~Once you get this recipe down, it is easy and fast. It is the backup recipe in every Italian kitchen and is a great balance of carbs and protein. I'm starting to think that it is the perfect meal.
Carbonara alla Tuscolana
After many failed attempts (some of my kids were sure they did not like pasta carbonara after I messed up so badly), I have finally gotten it down. Here is the Rombs Pasta Carbonara recipe, which avoids egg whites, onion and cream--all "No No's" in Lazio. This is a recipe for 8 people, so divide it if you are cooking for fewer people. I have affectionally called it Carbonara alla Tuscolana since we live on Via Tuscolana in Frascati.
2 boxes of spaghetti (500g each)
240g of diced smoked pancetta or guanciale
15 egg yolks
1 cup grated fresh parmesan and/or pecorino cheese
salt and pepper
garlic powder
1. Cook the spaghetti al dente.
2. Brown the pancetta and sprinkle some garlic powder on it as it becomes brown, enough to basically coat the pancetta (you can brown fresh diced garlic if you prefer, but we actually prefer the powder).
3. Beat the egg yolks with a whisk and add the fresh grated cheese and stir.
4. When the pasta is cooked, strain it, leaving about 1 cup of the hot water in the pot.
5. In a large mixing bowl, mix together the strained pasta with the egg/parmesan mixture. Sprinkle generously with salt and pepper. Gently mix over and over until the spaghetti strands are coated with the egg yolk mixture. It is important to taste it at this point and make sure it has enough salt; many people really like a good amount of pepper, so don't be shy.
6. If it is a bit grainy/dry, add one tablespoon of the hot water at a time, mixing after each addition, until the coating on the spaghetti is smooth and velvety.
7. Place a serving of mixed carbonara in each dish. Add more sprinkled parmesan on top if you wish.
Notes:
~Many recipes call for entire eggs but the egg whites make it more slippery and my kids can't stand it. I experimented until I landed on the 15 yolk solution. I make an egg white omelette out of the whites.
~The trick about the egg is for it to be neither raw nor scrambled. The egg mixture added to the spaghetti just as it is strained heats the egg up enough to raise its temperature without cooking it too much. Recipes all call for different processes, like placing the strained spaghetti back in the cooking pan and mixing the eggs there, but with my equipment, that is too hot and scrambles the eggs. Many other techniques are proposed in the universe of recipes. I find that using a large mixing bowl, mixing immediately after straining, and adding a little bit of reserved cooking water is the magical combination.
~My kids love the pancetta so I use a lot. But if I were cooking just for my husband and myself, I would you less. You do not need exact measurements; just add as much as you like.
~Guanciale is "cheek" and often the preferred meat in our region. Pancetta is perfectly fine and I have even used bacon. Its less Italian but a delicious meal anyway.
~Once you get this recipe down, it is easy and fast. It is the backup recipe in every Italian kitchen and is a great balance of carbs and protein. I'm starting to think that it is the perfect meal.
Saturday, March 21, 2020
Day 17--Can't Believe It
It's all so hard to believe! The highest number of deaths in Italy yet yesterday, 627. Hospitals in the north are overrun, and they are no longer counting the dead (so this number is not correct).
Five reasons I am happy to be in Italy during this crisis:
1. Their lockdown has the hope of being effective. Things happening in the US like takeout food from restaurants and gatherings of 10 people seem scary to me at this point. If the cook in the restaurant kitchen or the person standing next to you in a gathering has COVID-19 and is asymptomatic, then BAM, you've got it. And you won't even know for 14 days. Italy is about to close down public transportation and eliminate all public outings (like jogging) and I think mostly that is a good thing.
2. No handguns.
3. No tendency to have a run on the food supply.
4. 96% of Italians are supportive of the measures Italy is taking. It took a while, but it now makes sense. So, people's attitude is cooperative and generally pleasant.
5. I get to be in ITALY!
Five reasons I am happy to be in Italy during this crisis:
1. Their lockdown has the hope of being effective. Things happening in the US like takeout food from restaurants and gatherings of 10 people seem scary to me at this point. If the cook in the restaurant kitchen or the person standing next to you in a gathering has COVID-19 and is asymptomatic, then BAM, you've got it. And you won't even know for 14 days. Italy is about to close down public transportation and eliminate all public outings (like jogging) and I think mostly that is a good thing.
2. No handguns.
3. No tendency to have a run on the food supply.
4. 96% of Italians are supportive of the measures Italy is taking. It took a while, but it now makes sense. So, people's attitude is cooperative and generally pleasant.
5. I get to be in ITALY!
Day 16--Friday Night Party
We crossed the finish line of school and work and then blared music and danced.
We then watched a family movie and everyone stayed up way too late and had too much fun. After three weeks of our teenagers feeling bad that they can't see friends, I think they now realize that they have siblings and parents that they actually like being around, and so are much better off than most Italian teenagers who have zero to one sibling and generally do not like being with their families. The Rombs house has had a mood-uptick and we feel blessed to be doing so well given all the dramatic hardship the country is facing.
We then watched a family movie and everyone stayed up way too late and had too much fun. After three weeks of our teenagers feeling bad that they can't see friends, I think they now realize that they have siblings and parents that they actually like being around, and so are much better off than most Italian teenagers who have zero to one sibling and generally do not like being with their families. The Rombs house has had a mood-uptick and we feel blessed to be doing so well given all the dramatic hardship the country is facing.
Friday, March 20, 2020
Day 15--St. Joseph
On this Feast of St. Joseph, Italy led the world in a rosary, asking Mary to pray for us and through her Son, bring an end to this pandemic. Our family got the notice the day before, and made the "mistake" of praying the rosary on the eve before St. Joseph's feast day. At that point we had heard that Italians were initiating a prayer across Italy. But Pope Francis loved the idea and invited the world to join, and so when we said it a second time on the actual Feast of St. Joseph, we knew that people in the US and around the world were praying with us.
Feeling so alone and isolated, the world-wide prayer was a balm for my spirits. The news changes every day, and the original deadline for the quarantine, April 3, has been extended indefinitely. We cannot imagine our summer or our fall. We have no idea what will happen to international or even local travel. We do not know what will happen regarding jobs, schools or home. All of it seems likely to change, and we do not know if it will be for the better or the worse.
What I do know, however, is that only one thing really matters, which is participating in the mystery of Christ. The eternal Son became a human being, taking on flesh and living with us. He did this that we might join in the divine life. In my Baptism I have become an actual child of God. These are times that burn away all the things that can seem so important that are not really important. They are times that bring to light the amazing reality of being ordered toward God and how we are not just bodies, but we are spiritual creatures. Even Plato and many ancient Greek philosophers said it--we are like "amphibian" creatures, having one foot in this material realm and yet in another way we are located in the divine, everlasting, spiritual realm. I am full of hope, full of peace, full of love for God, my loved ones, and for the human race that is so dear to me and suffering so much at this time. Lord, I trust you and love you!
"Blessed is the one who trusts the Lord, whose hope is the Lord.
He is like a tree planted beside the waters that stretches out its roots to the stream.
It dears not the heat when it comes, its leaves stay green.
In the year of drought it shows no distress, but still bears fruit." (Jer. 17:7-8)
Feeling so alone and isolated, the world-wide prayer was a balm for my spirits. The news changes every day, and the original deadline for the quarantine, April 3, has been extended indefinitely. We cannot imagine our summer or our fall. We have no idea what will happen to international or even local travel. We do not know what will happen regarding jobs, schools or home. All of it seems likely to change, and we do not know if it will be for the better or the worse.
What I do know, however, is that only one thing really matters, which is participating in the mystery of Christ. The eternal Son became a human being, taking on flesh and living with us. He did this that we might join in the divine life. In my Baptism I have become an actual child of God. These are times that burn away all the things that can seem so important that are not really important. They are times that bring to light the amazing reality of being ordered toward God and how we are not just bodies, but we are spiritual creatures. Even Plato and many ancient Greek philosophers said it--we are like "amphibian" creatures, having one foot in this material realm and yet in another way we are located in the divine, everlasting, spiritual realm. I am full of hope, full of peace, full of love for God, my loved ones, and for the human race that is so dear to me and suffering so much at this time. Lord, I trust you and love you!
"Blessed is the one who trusts the Lord, whose hope is the Lord.
He is like a tree planted beside the waters that stretches out its roots to the stream.
It dears not the heat when it comes, its leaves stay green.
In the year of drought it shows no distress, but still bears fruit." (Jer. 17:7-8)
Thursday, March 19, 2020
Day 14--Healthy!
We made it--all 8 of us have been quarantined for 14 days, the incubation period as stated so far by the medical community. While we realize that such a period is only a guess and is not absolute fact, our family is rejoicing that we have made it for these 2 weeks without symptoms. And so, if any of us has it, we are not symptomatic and apparently can make it through without threat to our health. We are so grateful for our health!
We have also met the 2-week period since schools closed. Some kids feel like it was an eternity ago, and 2 weeks sounds too short. We also heard that the Prime Minister is extending the quarantine in Italy beyond April 3 indefinitely. There are huge spikes in deaths each day, and the contagion is spreading to southern Italy. We are nowhere near relief. I am praying we can make it without other sicknesses, need for a hospital or even a doctor. I also have a hard time imagining doing this indefinitely. But day by day is all one can ask of oneself!
Delighting my day is my daughters breaking out paints and pencils and undertaking new art projects. They are also enjoying each other's company and the general mood is really happy. Their online school work takes them less time than the typical school day, and so they are enjoying the nice weather, the chance to play guitar, exercise and relax. What a strange time! It's hard to know how to be. When I relax, I often think, "I should be worried about all the people dying right now!" Then when I worry, I think, "I should relax and enjoy this time!" Through the confusion I am reminded that I am a child of God, participating in the eternal life of God, that my citizenship is in heaven, and so "I am content in all things" (Philippians 4).
We have also met the 2-week period since schools closed. Some kids feel like it was an eternity ago, and 2 weeks sounds too short. We also heard that the Prime Minister is extending the quarantine in Italy beyond April 3 indefinitely. There are huge spikes in deaths each day, and the contagion is spreading to southern Italy. We are nowhere near relief. I am praying we can make it without other sicknesses, need for a hospital or even a doctor. I also have a hard time imagining doing this indefinitely. But day by day is all one can ask of oneself!
Delighting my day is my daughters breaking out paints and pencils and undertaking new art projects. They are also enjoying each other's company and the general mood is really happy. Their online school work takes them less time than the typical school day, and so they are enjoying the nice weather, the chance to play guitar, exercise and relax. What a strange time! It's hard to know how to be. When I relax, I often think, "I should be worried about all the people dying right now!" Then when I worry, I think, "I should relax and enjoy this time!" Through the confusion I am reminded that I am a child of God, participating in the eternal life of God, that my citizenship is in heaven, and so "I am content in all things" (Philippians 4).
Wednesday, March 18, 2020
Day 13--Be Love in That Place
I am reminded of the motto I took up when our life changed so dramatically 3 weeks ago (when Ron's students were sent home): "Wherever you are, be love in that place" (St. Therese).
What does it mean "To be love in that place"? In the normal hustle and bustle of pre-corona life, that phrase could be a bit abstract. But now, with 8 of us living in a matchbox-size apartment in rural Italy, this beautiful adage has taken on new meaning for me. In 3 weeks of upheaval and 2 weeks of quarantine:
I have slowed way down.
I do not rush when I mop anymore.
I do not rush when I do the dishes.
I smile at others more often. I smiled a huge smile at the checkout lady at the grocery store (the one time I have been out) and she stared at me as though she had never seen a smile before.
I listen with both ears when people talk to me.
When it is my turn to talk, I notice people seeming to hear me better.
I noticed for the first time today the beautiful design on the fountain pen Ron gave me for Christmas.
When I read a scripture verse, I can ponder each word for a much longer time. Rather than skimming over it, I can sink into it.
I feel lots of little burdens vanishing.
I can stretch or exercise with more patience now.
I have a heightened enjoyment of the taste of food.
I sleep better and longer.
It is also true that I have huge worries about the economy, our future, and the end of the world coming sooner than I thought. It is almost impossible to describe living with greater peace and yet greater anxiety at the same time.
In both these ways, however, St. Therese's words to be "love in that place" make more sense to me. To be love, you first have to be. Then you can think how or what you want to be. But if you are too busy doing, and not yet be-ing, then it is a lovely idea (one I have adored for 15 years) but impossible to realize on a constant basis. Living in a forced-quarantine, with no tv, no Wifi, limited data, and yet with the 7 people I love most in the world, seems like a good time to start.
What does it mean "To be love in that place"? In the normal hustle and bustle of pre-corona life, that phrase could be a bit abstract. But now, with 8 of us living in a matchbox-size apartment in rural Italy, this beautiful adage has taken on new meaning for me. In 3 weeks of upheaval and 2 weeks of quarantine:
I have slowed way down.
I do not rush when I mop anymore.
I do not rush when I do the dishes.
I smile at others more often. I smiled a huge smile at the checkout lady at the grocery store (the one time I have been out) and she stared at me as though she had never seen a smile before.
I listen with both ears when people talk to me.
When it is my turn to talk, I notice people seeming to hear me better.
I noticed for the first time today the beautiful design on the fountain pen Ron gave me for Christmas.
When I read a scripture verse, I can ponder each word for a much longer time. Rather than skimming over it, I can sink into it.
I feel lots of little burdens vanishing.
I can stretch or exercise with more patience now.
I have a heightened enjoyment of the taste of food.
I sleep better and longer.
It is also true that I have huge worries about the economy, our future, and the end of the world coming sooner than I thought. It is almost impossible to describe living with greater peace and yet greater anxiety at the same time.
In both these ways, however, St. Therese's words to be "love in that place" make more sense to me. To be love, you first have to be. Then you can think how or what you want to be. But if you are too busy doing, and not yet be-ing, then it is a lovely idea (one I have adored for 15 years) but impossible to realize on a constant basis. Living in a forced-quarantine, with no tv, no Wifi, limited data, and yet with the 7 people I love most in the world, seems like a good time to start.
Tuesday, March 17, 2020
Day 12--Dance Party
In the morning, I spent several hours in prayer and reading the Bible. It was truly wonderful. The kids did virtual schoolwork and Ron prepared his lectures. Classical guitar scales and etudes filled the house. I prepared Thai food: chicken curry with basmati rice. We have not had Thai food since we arrived in Italy so that was a mood-boost. Around dinner time, we played fun music and danced in the living room. Clare wins today's award for being the person in the highest spirits.
After the little kids went to bed, we watched Contagion, a movie from ten years ago about a pandemic. It was cathartic to watch and put into perspective some of what we are going through.
The hard thing right now is that it all started off as a short-term concept, something we imagined was not very deadly and if we quarantined, might be contained in Italy by summer. But the death rate is incredibly high in Italy, about 7%, and much higher if you calculate the "recovered" to "dead" numbers (rather than the confirmed cases to dead numbers). We are watching the curve, and it is indeed tapering off a little, which is a sign that our radical quarantine is working. But it is hard to imagine that it will not be prolonged. How long can we do this?
God alone knows, and He can bring any good out of a situation. We are leaning into God's grace to bring wondrous miracles to our family, loved ones, and the poor and those in ill-health who will be hardest hit by the virus. Lord, we love and trust you!
After the little kids went to bed, we watched Contagion, a movie from ten years ago about a pandemic. It was cathartic to watch and put into perspective some of what we are going through.
The hard thing right now is that it all started off as a short-term concept, something we imagined was not very deadly and if we quarantined, might be contained in Italy by summer. But the death rate is incredibly high in Italy, about 7%, and much higher if you calculate the "recovered" to "dead" numbers (rather than the confirmed cases to dead numbers). We are watching the curve, and it is indeed tapering off a little, which is a sign that our radical quarantine is working. But it is hard to imagine that it will not be prolonged. How long can we do this?
God alone knows, and He can bring any good out of a situation. We are leaning into God's grace to bring wondrous miracles to our family, loved ones, and the poor and those in ill-health who will be hardest hit by the virus. Lord, we love and trust you!
Sunday, March 15, 2020
Day 11--Risking Prison
Today was the first day that I have left the house since the school closures 11 days ago. Since then, the government has gotten increasingly stricter by the minute, limiting more and more of what one can do. Right now, the only thing permitted is to go to the grocery store or pharmacy, and only if you have no fever or symptoms and have government paperwork and documents with you. The punishment for not having the paperwork or for falsifying the documents (to do something non-essential) is a fine or time in prison.
Low on some food supplies, I prepared to venture out. I figure that, since Ron is a male and hence more susceptible to the virus, I would be the one. As I filled out the paperwork I joked that I'd call them from jail using my one phone call. Jake asked, "Do they have that in Italy?" We Googled it and discovered that yes, you get as many as you reasonably need if you are arrested here.
The streets were almost empty and the grocery store had a line outside. They only let in a few people at a time to allow for social distancing. I entered and got the things I needed. I came home and had an emotional crash. It is just so hard to be under the pressure of not contracting or passing on the virus. It has just had a huge explosion in Italy and is more lethal than expected (almost 7%). Italians are an aging population and big smokers, and these are two demographics that are vulnerable to the virus (since its respiratory). So, one could have imagined Italy being hard hit. But to witness it actually happening is really emotionally difficult. The hardest thing for me is to know that I can have it, but have no symptoms and thus not know I have it, and so be able to pass it on. Today I worried about killing people as I walked through the grocery store.
All of this while we lived an otherwise "normal" day at home. We had our own Sunday worship service as a family, reading the Scripture and singing hymns including "O Sacred Head Surrounded" written by St. Bernard of Clairvaux. Also, Ron is taking us through he Gospel of Mark, which he teaches at UD and now is sharing with the 5 oldest kids and me--a riveting experience and the kids love it. We did that for about an hour today. This evening, I have spent several hours studying for my class on the Eucharist that I am taking (now virtually) at the Angelicum. I love Fr. Roch's book, Wedding Feast of the Lamb.
The virus has hijacked our old way of life. But we are not willing for it to hijack our lives as such, and we press on, in faith, hope and love.
We pray in a very special way for those suffering and dying from the virus, as well as for those who are vulnerable to it, and for the poor and those without medical help. God, pour out your mercy and may we all find ways to help those in most need.
Low on some food supplies, I prepared to venture out. I figure that, since Ron is a male and hence more susceptible to the virus, I would be the one. As I filled out the paperwork I joked that I'd call them from jail using my one phone call. Jake asked, "Do they have that in Italy?" We Googled it and discovered that yes, you get as many as you reasonably need if you are arrested here.
The streets were almost empty and the grocery store had a line outside. They only let in a few people at a time to allow for social distancing. I entered and got the things I needed. I came home and had an emotional crash. It is just so hard to be under the pressure of not contracting or passing on the virus. It has just had a huge explosion in Italy and is more lethal than expected (almost 7%). Italians are an aging population and big smokers, and these are two demographics that are vulnerable to the virus (since its respiratory). So, one could have imagined Italy being hard hit. But to witness it actually happening is really emotionally difficult. The hardest thing for me is to know that I can have it, but have no symptoms and thus not know I have it, and so be able to pass it on. Today I worried about killing people as I walked through the grocery store.
All of this while we lived an otherwise "normal" day at home. We had our own Sunday worship service as a family, reading the Scripture and singing hymns including "O Sacred Head Surrounded" written by St. Bernard of Clairvaux. Also, Ron is taking us through he Gospel of Mark, which he teaches at UD and now is sharing with the 5 oldest kids and me--a riveting experience and the kids love it. We did that for about an hour today. This evening, I have spent several hours studying for my class on the Eucharist that I am taking (now virtually) at the Angelicum. I love Fr. Roch's book, Wedding Feast of the Lamb.
The virus has hijacked our old way of life. But we are not willing for it to hijack our lives as such, and we press on, in faith, hope and love.
We pray in a very special way for those suffering and dying from the virus, as well as for those who are vulnerable to it, and for the poor and those without medical help. God, pour out your mercy and may we all find ways to help those in most need.
Saturday, March 14, 2020
Day 10--Retreat
Day 10 of our coronavirus quarantine began with learning that we cannot now go to campus, because educational employment is no longer considered an acceptable reason to be out. We also heard about regional airport closures (smaller airports). It is hard to process how the economy can sustain this kind of shutdown. For now, we are truly locked in at home except to go to the grocery store or pharmacy, and those only with our self-certification form and government documents on us. But I did learn that the fine for a breach is only 206 euros, which is less than I originally heard.
I approached the day like a monastic retreat. I love to go on retreat to a monastery like Christ in the Desert or Gethsemane. The kids slept incredibly late--Leigh woke up at 1:30 pm and said she got 13.5 hours of sleep. Incredible! That was similar for the other kids as well. I used the time reading my Bible and praying. Then I went on a long walk around this property, which I had not fully explored before. Then I exercised and then made pasta carbonara for the family. The kids played lots of guitar and their spirits were very high. Clare, in particular, was in a bright and happy mood, and Jacob seems to be really enjoying not going to school but working from home. He is reading a book, playing guitar, and working out. That's a pretty nice life!
I approached the day like a monastic retreat. I love to go on retreat to a monastery like Christ in the Desert or Gethsemane. The kids slept incredibly late--Leigh woke up at 1:30 pm and said she got 13.5 hours of sleep. Incredible! That was similar for the other kids as well. I used the time reading my Bible and praying. Then I went on a long walk around this property, which I had not fully explored before. Then I exercised and then made pasta carbonara for the family. The kids played lots of guitar and their spirits were very high. Clare, in particular, was in a bright and happy mood, and Jacob seems to be really enjoying not going to school but working from home. He is reading a book, playing guitar, and working out. That's a pretty nice life!
Friday, March 13, 2020
Day 9--Homeschool and then a Walk in the Vineyard
Waking up to the knowledge that I cannot leave the house today without a provable necessity, and will likely have to prove my need to a police officer under threat of a fine or prison, is unsettling. I reassured myself that there are treasures throughout the day that God has hidden--like a scavenger hunt--and it was my job to find and enjoy the them.
While the older kids were doing their online classes and Annie was diligently worked on her assignments, I told Sebastian, "I have worksheets for you from your teacher that she sent me online." He literally cried tears of joy and said, "Am I old enough for school?" Rather than discuss how next August he will enter elementary school, I just said, "Yes!" He hugged me and thanked me. So weird how I have invited him to do homeschool-type activities for the past 2 years, but TODAY he was suddenly ready.
He sat at the table and did his worksheets. Halfway through, when his little attention span ran out, he ran away from the table as fast as he could, like he was putting out a fire. But then he returned and re-focused and accepted my corrections. He got an A+.
At one point, Annie spoke rudely telling him that she was doing important math, but he was doing stupid writing. I reprimanded her and then, anticipating the fight that was surely coming down the pike, I said: "Annie and Sebastian, I challenge you to get through the whole day without a fight. If you succeed, even though it is a Friday in Lent, you will both get a treat tonight. But Annie, if you speak rudely to Sebastian, you have to take out all the trash [it's a long walk from our house]. Sebastian, if you speak rudely to Annie, you have to clean up the messiest room in the house." The all-powerful "double incentive" of naming both a reward and punishment--how does anyone parent without it? It is the only tool in my toolbox that keeps me sane.
I said, "Annie, repeat after me: 'I will only speak kindly to you today, Sebastian.'" She giggled and obeyed. Then I said the same to Sebastian. But the Little Tooter replied in a mocking voice: "Sebastian, repeat after me: I will only use kind words with you, Annie." They both laughed and laughed. He did this about five times. "Sebastian, repeat after me. . . " he crooned. What a stinker. Finally he did it correctly.
They made it through the day and earned a treat--amazing!
* * *
Meanwhile, the older kids have rallied to help me with my new Instagram account. Jacob started it: "Guys, let's help Mom! She doesn't understand what Instagram is. She is using it like a blog or Facebook, and doesn't realize it is mainly to feature artistic photos. She has lots of followers on her website--let's help her with Instagram!" The girls all went for it. This blew my mind, since I have been hearing, "Mom, don't post this on your blog!!!!!!" for about 5 years--since Jacob went to school one day at Cistercian and his classmates knew that Sebastian had needed to go to the ER. "You all read my mom's blog???" He was horrified. Thus began the clamp down. So why, pray tell, are they okay with Instagram? Maybe the hopes of more tags and posts and pics that they approve? I really don't even get it. But I'm so happy! We had a great afternoon, taking pictures!
While the older kids were doing their online classes and Annie was diligently worked on her assignments, I told Sebastian, "I have worksheets for you from your teacher that she sent me online." He literally cried tears of joy and said, "Am I old enough for school?" Rather than discuss how next August he will enter elementary school, I just said, "Yes!" He hugged me and thanked me. So weird how I have invited him to do homeschool-type activities for the past 2 years, but TODAY he was suddenly ready.
He sat at the table and did his worksheets. Halfway through, when his little attention span ran out, he ran away from the table as fast as he could, like he was putting out a fire. But then he returned and re-focused and accepted my corrections. He got an A+.
At one point, Annie spoke rudely telling him that she was doing important math, but he was doing stupid writing. I reprimanded her and then, anticipating the fight that was surely coming down the pike, I said: "Annie and Sebastian, I challenge you to get through the whole day without a fight. If you succeed, even though it is a Friday in Lent, you will both get a treat tonight. But Annie, if you speak rudely to Sebastian, you have to take out all the trash [it's a long walk from our house]. Sebastian, if you speak rudely to Annie, you have to clean up the messiest room in the house." The all-powerful "double incentive" of naming both a reward and punishment--how does anyone parent without it? It is the only tool in my toolbox that keeps me sane.
I said, "Annie, repeat after me: 'I will only speak kindly to you today, Sebastian.'" She giggled and obeyed. Then I said the same to Sebastian. But the Little Tooter replied in a mocking voice: "Sebastian, repeat after me: I will only use kind words with you, Annie." They both laughed and laughed. He did this about five times. "Sebastian, repeat after me. . . " he crooned. What a stinker. Finally he did it correctly.
They made it through the day and earned a treat--amazing!
* * *
Meanwhile, the older kids have rallied to help me with my new Instagram account. Jacob started it: "Guys, let's help Mom! She doesn't understand what Instagram is. She is using it like a blog or Facebook, and doesn't realize it is mainly to feature artistic photos. She has lots of followers on her website--let's help her with Instagram!" The girls all went for it. This blew my mind, since I have been hearing, "Mom, don't post this on your blog!!!!!!" for about 5 years--since Jacob went to school one day at Cistercian and his classmates knew that Sebastian had needed to go to the ER. "You all read my mom's blog???" He was horrified. Thus began the clamp down. So why, pray tell, are they okay with Instagram? Maybe the hopes of more tags and posts and pics that they approve? I really don't even get it. But I'm so happy! We had a great afternoon, taking pictures!
Day 8--Life is Beautiful
Day 8 of our Italian coronavirus-red-zone-crisis was a strangely delightful day. Each person peacefully pursued their own obligations of school work, teaching, reading, writing and chores. Ron played classical guitar on his work breaks; Clare took up the guitar for the first time since we left Dallas and played some scales; Mary was strumming and singing away downstairs; Jake played some music exercises in his room with the door shut. The sun was shining, the windows were open and allowing in the fresh breeze, I enjoyed phone calls and emails with family, and was especially grateful for a meal of gnocchi with spinach.
The relative calm I experience results at least in part from the fact that our family is approaching the end of the coronavirus incubation period. If any of us is carrying it, it might have shown up by now or will soon. Once we get to the 14 day marker from the closing of schools, our contact with other human beings has been so radically, infinitesimally small that we can be pretty confident that we are safe. Being in a secluded paradise on this vineyard, with access to all the supplies we need through grocery store deliveries campus supplies, and cell phone service/data, I actually feel like we could do this indefinitely. I am at peace even amid the storm. If I were to be honest, the only thing that worries me is that the economic downturn due to corona makes us much more vulnerable to a hurricane, tsunami, or terrorist attack. In the "one-two punch" it is the second punch that makes me nervous. And still I say, "All things work together for good for those who love God and are called according to his purpose" (Romans 8:28). This world is not my home, and I eagerly anticipate the life to come. Hallelujah.
After most people went to bed, I had the best night I've had in a really long time. Jacob, Clare and I watched Life is Beautiful, an Italian film about a family in WWII. It is billed as a "comedy" but it is more accurately described as a human drama that highlights the inestimable contribution that one creative, loving person can make, that the family is just about the only really important thing, and the enduring, resilient value of the human spirit. The three of us dried our eyes and then stayed up late into the night talking. Clare asked how the Nazi regime could have ever come to power, and Jacob and I took turns not only trying to explain how it happened, connecting it to the aftermath of WWI, but also linking the past with some current events--showing how Italians and others are not so far away from the mindset that allowed Hitler to rise up. We talked about how it is important to think hard about what kind of solutions you accept to hard circumstances--sometimes, in our poverty, we allow evil solutions just to alleviate our pain. Seeking truly just and wise leadership is so important.
We capped it off talking about how the best way to prevent the next Hitler is to be smart, be wise, be loving, and find your way to be extraordinary in blessing other people. Clare and Jacob were right there with me keying into this mystery. I shared with them how in my 20's, I discovered the writings of Thomas Merton, and I felt sure that he, secluded in a monastery in the middle of nowhere, was more powerful for accomplishing peace in the world and good for our human family than most politicians or public leaders. I told my kids that I feel that way about family life: being a mother and wife seems to me to have the possibility of unleashing torrents of compassion and love to our aching world. I struggle to explain this intuition: maybe like Jesus was the "exemplary cause" of love, embodying it and thus causing it to exist in the world, so too can a mother--or brother or sister or father--be an exemplary cause of God's love and cause a revolution of Christ-centered-Spirit-filled peace to a hurting people. How could a small, humble carpenter from Nazareth bring blessing and healing to the whole world? God's uses a different measuring stick than we do for what is powerful or important. I lack the right words to describe my sense--As "little Christs" (St. Augustine), we are invited and called to this glorious, humble way.
The relative calm I experience results at least in part from the fact that our family is approaching the end of the coronavirus incubation period. If any of us is carrying it, it might have shown up by now or will soon. Once we get to the 14 day marker from the closing of schools, our contact with other human beings has been so radically, infinitesimally small that we can be pretty confident that we are safe. Being in a secluded paradise on this vineyard, with access to all the supplies we need through grocery store deliveries campus supplies, and cell phone service/data, I actually feel like we could do this indefinitely. I am at peace even amid the storm. If I were to be honest, the only thing that worries me is that the economic downturn due to corona makes us much more vulnerable to a hurricane, tsunami, or terrorist attack. In the "one-two punch" it is the second punch that makes me nervous. And still I say, "All things work together for good for those who love God and are called according to his purpose" (Romans 8:28). This world is not my home, and I eagerly anticipate the life to come. Hallelujah.
After most people went to bed, I had the best night I've had in a really long time. Jacob, Clare and I watched Life is Beautiful, an Italian film about a family in WWII. It is billed as a "comedy" but it is more accurately described as a human drama that highlights the inestimable contribution that one creative, loving person can make, that the family is just about the only really important thing, and the enduring, resilient value of the human spirit. The three of us dried our eyes and then stayed up late into the night talking. Clare asked how the Nazi regime could have ever come to power, and Jacob and I took turns not only trying to explain how it happened, connecting it to the aftermath of WWI, but also linking the past with some current events--showing how Italians and others are not so far away from the mindset that allowed Hitler to rise up. We talked about how it is important to think hard about what kind of solutions you accept to hard circumstances--sometimes, in our poverty, we allow evil solutions just to alleviate our pain. Seeking truly just and wise leadership is so important.
We capped it off talking about how the best way to prevent the next Hitler is to be smart, be wise, be loving, and find your way to be extraordinary in blessing other people. Clare and Jacob were right there with me keying into this mystery. I shared with them how in my 20's, I discovered the writings of Thomas Merton, and I felt sure that he, secluded in a monastery in the middle of nowhere, was more powerful for accomplishing peace in the world and good for our human family than most politicians or public leaders. I told my kids that I feel that way about family life: being a mother and wife seems to me to have the possibility of unleashing torrents of compassion and love to our aching world. I struggle to explain this intuition: maybe like Jesus was the "exemplary cause" of love, embodying it and thus causing it to exist in the world, so too can a mother--or brother or sister or father--be an exemplary cause of God's love and cause a revolution of Christ-centered-Spirit-filled peace to a hurting people. How could a small, humble carpenter from Nazareth bring blessing and healing to the whole world? God's uses a different measuring stick than we do for what is powerful or important. I lack the right words to describe my sense--As "little Christs" (St. Augustine), we are invited and called to this glorious, humble way.
Thursday, March 12, 2020
Day 7--Where's the Bottom?
The development du jour was that the government made a new restriction that whenever you leave your home, you have to have filled out a form that says where you are going and why. It is called a self-certification form. Our family had good laugh that, since all cafes and restaurants are still permitted to be open from 6am-6pm, we were imagining whether we could cite as our reason, "Cappucino."
But then later that night, the Prime Minister made a televised announcement that new legislation had just been passed that says all cafes and restaurants, and all places of business that are service-related (shops, hair salons, etc.) are now officially closed. He said grocery stores and pharmacies are still open, and will remain so, so he advised against stock-piling. He said all government-run services such as utilities, trash, public transportation, etc., will still run. Furthermore, all people who can work from home must work from home. It is against the law to be out unnecessarily, and forbidden to socialize with people not of your domicile. He reminded us that it is a criminal offense to leave our home without our self-certification form plus legal documentation.
This is a new low and we feel the pinch. Not being able to meet up with someone else, even if there is mutual agreement; not having most services open; these are big changes in just 24 hours.
Add to that Ron, who's work is here and continues on. Will he no longer go to campus? And since we don't have wifi in our house but just use the data on our phones, but have to go to a cell phone shop to recharge our phones--if the cell phone store is closed, how will we get recharged?
I simply wonder--have we hit the bottom? Can they restrict us any more?
The U.S. is temporarily suspending travel to the US of those who are not citizens, and those who are but coming from Italy and like places will probably have to do a government quarantine (very different from the self-quarantine recommendation that has been going on so far, that the UD students did, and that I was imagining). So, to go to the U.S. until this is lifted would not be for personal reasons, but would be final. For us it would mean repatriation. None of Ron's colleagues are discussing doing that. As far as I am aware, since they have work contracts to be here in Italy, they are continuing with their work remotely and virtually. Since all these restrictions are temporary--2 weeks to a month--it seems like the obvious answer is that we just stay here and ride the wave. In fact, this is not even a discussion. I do not know of any of the faculty, including Ron, making a decision whether or not to return to the U.S. It is just an assumption that we are here for the duration. The biggest consideration for me is that we are not in physical danger. As we moved here for Ron's work and as that work continues, so I too, at least for the time being, am not asking the question whether we return to the U.S. or not. Here we are, eating our Amatriciana and Ritornello and drinking our Lavazza coffee and soaking up the sunshine and fresh air, and simply accepting and making the most of the situation.
But then later that night, the Prime Minister made a televised announcement that new legislation had just been passed that says all cafes and restaurants, and all places of business that are service-related (shops, hair salons, etc.) are now officially closed. He said grocery stores and pharmacies are still open, and will remain so, so he advised against stock-piling. He said all government-run services such as utilities, trash, public transportation, etc., will still run. Furthermore, all people who can work from home must work from home. It is against the law to be out unnecessarily, and forbidden to socialize with people not of your domicile. He reminded us that it is a criminal offense to leave our home without our self-certification form plus legal documentation.
This is a new low and we feel the pinch. Not being able to meet up with someone else, even if there is mutual agreement; not having most services open; these are big changes in just 24 hours.
Add to that Ron, who's work is here and continues on. Will he no longer go to campus? And since we don't have wifi in our house but just use the data on our phones, but have to go to a cell phone shop to recharge our phones--if the cell phone store is closed, how will we get recharged?
I simply wonder--have we hit the bottom? Can they restrict us any more?
The U.S. is temporarily suspending travel to the US of those who are not citizens, and those who are but coming from Italy and like places will probably have to do a government quarantine (very different from the self-quarantine recommendation that has been going on so far, that the UD students did, and that I was imagining). So, to go to the U.S. until this is lifted would not be for personal reasons, but would be final. For us it would mean repatriation. None of Ron's colleagues are discussing doing that. As far as I am aware, since they have work contracts to be here in Italy, they are continuing with their work remotely and virtually. Since all these restrictions are temporary--2 weeks to a month--it seems like the obvious answer is that we just stay here and ride the wave. In fact, this is not even a discussion. I do not know of any of the faculty, including Ron, making a decision whether or not to return to the U.S. It is just an assumption that we are here for the duration. The biggest consideration for me is that we are not in physical danger. As we moved here for Ron's work and as that work continues, so I too, at least for the time being, am not asking the question whether we return to the U.S. or not. Here we are, eating our Amatriciana and Ritornello and drinking our Lavazza coffee and soaking up the sunshine and fresh air, and simply accepting and making the most of the situation.
Wednesday, March 11, 2020
Day 6--Mary's Birthday
Mary turns 17! She had planned a birthday party with 9 friends from school that included s'mores and a bonfire on our vineyard. But it had to be canceled due to the Italian restrictions which people call #iorestoacasa ("#I stay at home"). We had payed an unconscionable amount for marshmallows and graham crackers, and now they remain in a cardboard box. That's okay--not exactly fresh food. If you buried them and dug them up 100 years from now, the marshmallows would probably still look exactly the same. So, I remind myself, we have a while. More pressing upon me was how to compensate for the lack of a party. As the mother of an extreme extrovert who loooooooves her birthday, I prayed that the Lord would create a way for it to be a good day for her.
My main thought was "Home videos." We have a precious box of video tapes from all our married life, and our family has hardly ever watched them. I thought, "Let's look at Mary as a baby and as she grew up." As an extra precautionary measure, we started the day before her birthday just to get the happiness flowing before sadness set in. And so it did: We all laughed and cooed and delighted in the videos of little Mary Lou who was an adorable little 6 pound lump of sweetness. The next day, we watched the first three years of her life, and Jacob and Baby Clare also had starring roles.
Annie woke up the morning of Mary's birthday and started making paper chains out of construction paper. It took her 4 hours but she got 2 strands hung, crossing each other diagonally across the room. We got a "Happy Birthday" sign hung that we brought with us from the States. Annie then baked a cake and made Mary a large card. All this took her most of the morning and afternoon. When I started preparing dinner, she joined me and made the zucchini. Honestly, she worked on Mary's birthday for 10 hours! We applauded Annie at the beginning of the birthday dinner. What an amazing capacity she has to stick with all the work that goes into a celebration--I wonder how God will use her gifts one day. She brings joy and love to others with gusto.
Mary's birthday was quiet in the morning because the older kids were on doing online school. But it really got rolling when we all congregated for her birthday. We gave her her two gifts. The first was a plane ticket to go back to Texas to see her friends. We hope that she can use it as planned in May, but if it has to be postponed, so be it. She cried and cried and was so thankful. Then, Ron gave her an acoustic guitar, which was awesome because she had borrowed his guitar all last year but banged and scratched it up and he was a little nonplussed about the whole thing. His is a fine classical guitar, but she likes to strum and sing. So, she was overjoyed that now she has her very own to bang up all she wants! She immediately recognized the guitar gift as "good timing" since it is such a stress-reliever and something that can fan the flames of faith and joy when you need them the most.
She was also greatly cheered by a visit from her boyfriend, Giacomo, whose mother drove him by our house and let him get out of the car and talk with Mary for a few minutes and give her a red rose. What a sweet boy he is. Giacomo is a really nice addition to our life right now. She was also deeply grateful for the phone calls and birthday wishes from various family and friends--she felt very loved.
After a big dinner, we watched Clare's first 6 months on video. What really stood out was how she was treated as such royalty: visits from Granny and Papa Harville, Aunt Mara, Leah staying for a couple of months, appearances from Aunt Kimmy, the Rombses, and lots of references of the Hayes and all our Louisiana friends. These wonderful family and friends spent so much time with Jacob and Mary that I was able to dote on Clare nonstop. The videos reveal a happy, content little baby who had an A+ start to life. Our home really was a peaceful, happy place. Clare seemed really taken with the films. At the end, she hugged me. . . then Mary cried out, "Group hug!" and she piled on and then Leigh dog piled as well. Mary said to Ron and me, "I really thank you for making this such a wonderful birthday." God is very, very good. I went to bed so grateful for our amazing 21 years of family life and pouring out prayers for Mary Lucinda, that the year ahead would bring a flowering of faith, peace, tranquility, trust, and virtue. God, thank you for my precious Mary Lucinda and this whole family!
My main thought was "Home videos." We have a precious box of video tapes from all our married life, and our family has hardly ever watched them. I thought, "Let's look at Mary as a baby and as she grew up." As an extra precautionary measure, we started the day before her birthday just to get the happiness flowing before sadness set in. And so it did: We all laughed and cooed and delighted in the videos of little Mary Lou who was an adorable little 6 pound lump of sweetness. The next day, we watched the first three years of her life, and Jacob and Baby Clare also had starring roles.
Annie woke up the morning of Mary's birthday and started making paper chains out of construction paper. It took her 4 hours but she got 2 strands hung, crossing each other diagonally across the room. We got a "Happy Birthday" sign hung that we brought with us from the States. Annie then baked a cake and made Mary a large card. All this took her most of the morning and afternoon. When I started preparing dinner, she joined me and made the zucchini. Honestly, she worked on Mary's birthday for 10 hours! We applauded Annie at the beginning of the birthday dinner. What an amazing capacity she has to stick with all the work that goes into a celebration--I wonder how God will use her gifts one day. She brings joy and love to others with gusto.
Mary's birthday was quiet in the morning because the older kids were on doing online school. But it really got rolling when we all congregated for her birthday. We gave her her two gifts. The first was a plane ticket to go back to Texas to see her friends. We hope that she can use it as planned in May, but if it has to be postponed, so be it. She cried and cried and was so thankful. Then, Ron gave her an acoustic guitar, which was awesome because she had borrowed his guitar all last year but banged and scratched it up and he was a little nonplussed about the whole thing. His is a fine classical guitar, but she likes to strum and sing. So, she was overjoyed that now she has her very own to bang up all she wants! She immediately recognized the guitar gift as "good timing" since it is such a stress-reliever and something that can fan the flames of faith and joy when you need them the most.
She was also greatly cheered by a visit from her boyfriend, Giacomo, whose mother drove him by our house and let him get out of the car and talk with Mary for a few minutes and give her a red rose. What a sweet boy he is. Giacomo is a really nice addition to our life right now. She was also deeply grateful for the phone calls and birthday wishes from various family and friends--she felt very loved.
After a big dinner, we watched Clare's first 6 months on video. What really stood out was how she was treated as such royalty: visits from Granny and Papa Harville, Aunt Mara, Leah staying for a couple of months, appearances from Aunt Kimmy, the Rombses, and lots of references of the Hayes and all our Louisiana friends. These wonderful family and friends spent so much time with Jacob and Mary that I was able to dote on Clare nonstop. The videos reveal a happy, content little baby who had an A+ start to life. Our home really was a peaceful, happy place. Clare seemed really taken with the films. At the end, she hugged me. . . then Mary cried out, "Group hug!" and she piled on and then Leigh dog piled as well. Mary said to Ron and me, "I really thank you for making this such a wonderful birthday." God is very, very good. I went to bed so grateful for our amazing 21 years of family life and pouring out prayers for Mary Lucinda, that the year ahead would bring a flowering of faith, peace, tranquility, trust, and virtue. God, thank you for my precious Mary Lucinda and this whole family!
Monday, March 9, 2020
Day 5--Apocalyptic
APOCALYPTIC--That is what it is like here right now. We awoke early and departed for the UD campus because the older 4 kids had to log in and do virtual school today--the new normal for a while. The internet is better on campus so the plan was for me to drive them there and then let Sebastian and Annie play while I got some work done. But as we pulled out of our vineyard drive, there were no cars on the street. For a Monday morning, which is usually a traffic nightmare, all I can say is that it was like having been left behind after the rapture.
When we got to campus, I learned that people on campus (there are only about 10 or 15) are trying to avoid each other. The forno dinner we had the night before would be the last social gathering for a while.
The kids found online school easier than they had feared, so that was good. We had a nice dinner of lentils and rice, and started Mary's birthday celebration early by watching home movies when she was little. Adorable!
We then said night prayers as a family and then reminisced a little more about old memories. . . when the news hit: the Prime Minister of Italy is asking all Italians to stay home unless absolutely necessary. Wowzers. As a result, Ron and Jacob just bolted out to get last minute supplies for our stockpile, since we cannot possibly maintain several weeks worth of food and other necessities. . . it is just a loose idea we hold and then fail to meet. So, they are running out and we'll see what happens. I have no idea if this means that grocery stores will close down. I heard that in China, all groceries were by delivery or . . . drone! What a wild ride we are on!
I sometimes want to panic but I tell myself: The US is just a month behind us but it makes no sense to go to the US; even if we get it, it is not likely to be life-threatening for any of us; sometimes I think (like many adults around here that I have spoken with) that I (and 5 of the kids) had it last month when a had the "flu" but a strange one that had a horrible respiratory aspect, which confirms for me that we would endure it a second time if we had to; the mortality rate is still very low (463 in Italy); the virus is rare among children. The CDC reports: "most confirmed cases of COVID-19 reported from China have occurred in adults. . . infection among children was relatively uncommon."
A mood-mender for me is that we live on this huge vineyard. We are not around any people. I think if I were in NYC, I would be much more nervous. But the calm disposition I have tended to take toward this is probably (even unduly) the result of the fact that I am never around anyone! Now that the kids are not in school, they are not either. So, unless someone was infected from a while back and then it appears, we should be completely fine. And even then, we are in low-risk populations.
May God grant us a heavenly ability to be prudent, careful, wise, and make the right decisions about where we are, where we go, etc. Then, once decisions are made, let there be silver-linings and joy. We are Christians, and we can do this! "All things work together for good for those who love God and are called according to his purpose" (Rom. 8:28). May God answer prayers and bring an abundance of good for the world (crises can be purgative and bring health to a people who are sick) and for our family through this trial. God be with us all.
When we got to campus, I learned that people on campus (there are only about 10 or 15) are trying to avoid each other. The forno dinner we had the night before would be the last social gathering for a while.
The kids found online school easier than they had feared, so that was good. We had a nice dinner of lentils and rice, and started Mary's birthday celebration early by watching home movies when she was little. Adorable!
We then said night prayers as a family and then reminisced a little more about old memories. . . when the news hit: the Prime Minister of Italy is asking all Italians to stay home unless absolutely necessary. Wowzers. As a result, Ron and Jacob just bolted out to get last minute supplies for our stockpile, since we cannot possibly maintain several weeks worth of food and other necessities. . . it is just a loose idea we hold and then fail to meet. So, they are running out and we'll see what happens. I have no idea if this means that grocery stores will close down. I heard that in China, all groceries were by delivery or . . . drone! What a wild ride we are on!
I sometimes want to panic but I tell myself: The US is just a month behind us but it makes no sense to go to the US; even if we get it, it is not likely to be life-threatening for any of us; sometimes I think (like many adults around here that I have spoken with) that I (and 5 of the kids) had it last month when a had the "flu" but a strange one that had a horrible respiratory aspect, which confirms for me that we would endure it a second time if we had to; the mortality rate is still very low (463 in Italy); the virus is rare among children. The CDC reports: "most confirmed cases of COVID-19 reported from China have occurred in adults. . . infection among children was relatively uncommon."
A mood-mender for me is that we live on this huge vineyard. We are not around any people. I think if I were in NYC, I would be much more nervous. But the calm disposition I have tended to take toward this is probably (even unduly) the result of the fact that I am never around anyone! Now that the kids are not in school, they are not either. So, unless someone was infected from a while back and then it appears, we should be completely fine. And even then, we are in low-risk populations.
May God grant us a heavenly ability to be prudent, careful, wise, and make the right decisions about where we are, where we go, etc. Then, once decisions are made, let there be silver-linings and joy. We are Christians, and we can do this! "All things work together for good for those who love God and are called according to his purpose" (Rom. 8:28). May God answer prayers and bring an abundance of good for the world (crises can be purgative and bring health to a people who are sick) and for our family through this trial. God be with us all.
Sunday, March 8, 2020
Day 4--Restrictions
We awoke to news of new, serious, draconian measures the Italian government is instituting effective immediately: closure of all churches, including funerals; closure of restaurants at dinner time; closure of all possibly crowded spaces including cinemas, theaters and even Bingo halls (?!).
There is also rumor that schools will be closed but doing distance, online teaching until Easter (?!?!?!).
Ron and I scurried out of the house and to the grocery store, each grabbing a cart and filling them both up with more food for our stockpile. We have to be ready for them to close or limit even those.
Then we went to Mass. . . How was that possible, you ask? Because last night I said to Ron, "I wonder if they are about to close down churches." Ron said, "I don't know but I'll just ask Fr. Brown if he would be willing to say Mass on campus." Sure enough, Fr. Brown said he'd be happy to. When we woke up to the news, we were so happy that we were some of the only Catholics in Italy who would be able to attend Mass today (except for those who live in religious communities, etc.).
After Mass on campus, we returned home and Ron made a huge lunch for the family. Then there was a little rest time and I finished Michele Schumacher's book, Women in Christ. Excellent, excellent book. Then we were off to campus for a big dinner at the forno. Ron made a blazing fire, with Annie and Sebastian collecting pine needles and pine cones, while I made pasta and diced tomatoes, etc. for bruschetta. Ron grilled fresh bread, zucchini, and tons of veal fillets and sausage. Campus friends (faculty and staff) joined us. . . Joe, Theresa, Vasile, Elina, their girls, and Scott for a bit. . . we had a really lovely time trying to enjoy the moment even in a crisis such as this.
It is hard to know what to think about all this. . . watching Italy go into a recession, watching the global economy tank, for a virus that is causing panic but, as Ron says, "has no big monster behind it." It is not scarlet fever, the Spanish flu, Ebola. The death rate is less than that for rubella, for example, which kills thousands of people every year and we have a known vaccine but don't do much to make sure everyone in the world gets it (this is the opinion of a scientist friend. . . ). If the world treated coronavirus like it does rubella, the flu, and many other existing killers, there would not even be a blip in the markets. But because it arose and we were not able to contain it, we are panicked. I don't know. . . it is all just so hard to process.
One thing I have been praying about, however: if, in the worst case scenario, Italy has an explosion of dying people as occurred in China, I want to help. I want to be a volunteer. China had tents outside of hospitals for the overflow of patients. If such a thing happens here, I want to be there to help. I am not in a vulnerable population. Of course I will put my family first and not do anything to harm them, and so there are lots of considerations. But if God would make a way, I would love to be on the front lines and bring a little care to those most in need.
Lord help us!
There is also rumor that schools will be closed but doing distance, online teaching until Easter (?!?!?!).
Ron and I scurried out of the house and to the grocery store, each grabbing a cart and filling them both up with more food for our stockpile. We have to be ready for them to close or limit even those.
Then we went to Mass. . . How was that possible, you ask? Because last night I said to Ron, "I wonder if they are about to close down churches." Ron said, "I don't know but I'll just ask Fr. Brown if he would be willing to say Mass on campus." Sure enough, Fr. Brown said he'd be happy to. When we woke up to the news, we were so happy that we were some of the only Catholics in Italy who would be able to attend Mass today (except for those who live in religious communities, etc.).
After Mass on campus, we returned home and Ron made a huge lunch for the family. Then there was a little rest time and I finished Michele Schumacher's book, Women in Christ. Excellent, excellent book. Then we were off to campus for a big dinner at the forno. Ron made a blazing fire, with Annie and Sebastian collecting pine needles and pine cones, while I made pasta and diced tomatoes, etc. for bruschetta. Ron grilled fresh bread, zucchini, and tons of veal fillets and sausage. Campus friends (faculty and staff) joined us. . . Joe, Theresa, Vasile, Elina, their girls, and Scott for a bit. . . we had a really lovely time trying to enjoy the moment even in a crisis such as this.
It is hard to know what to think about all this. . . watching Italy go into a recession, watching the global economy tank, for a virus that is causing panic but, as Ron says, "has no big monster behind it." It is not scarlet fever, the Spanish flu, Ebola. The death rate is less than that for rubella, for example, which kills thousands of people every year and we have a known vaccine but don't do much to make sure everyone in the world gets it (this is the opinion of a scientist friend. . . ). If the world treated coronavirus like it does rubella, the flu, and many other existing killers, there would not even be a blip in the markets. But because it arose and we were not able to contain it, we are panicked. I don't know. . . it is all just so hard to process.
One thing I have been praying about, however: if, in the worst case scenario, Italy has an explosion of dying people as occurred in China, I want to help. I want to be a volunteer. China had tents outside of hospitals for the overflow of patients. If such a thing happens here, I want to be there to help. I am not in a vulnerable population. Of course I will put my family first and not do anything to harm them, and so there are lots of considerations. But if God would make a way, I would love to be on the front lines and bring a little care to those most in need.
Lord help us!
Day 3--Music
Day 3 of our pandemi-cation was a musical day extraordinaire. Ron took out his classical guitar and filled the house with beautiful music. It was more contagious than any virus--Sebastian grabbed his toy guitar and played and sang songs all day. Annie begged to play Ron's guitar. Then later in the afternoon, Ron took Jacob out and bought him a classical guitar--an early graduation gift. Jacob had played as a child through middle school and then set down his guitar when he entered Cistercian because his academics and sports were too demanding. But his teacher had told him, "You are always the best prepared student I have ever had." He was so faithful in practicing and loved the songs in his repertoire. So, in his last few months of high school and in college where he will likely have time to play, Ron got Jake back on it. The guitar is beautiful and I am grateful that Jacob will be carrying on the Rombs classical guitar tradition.
I made NY style pasta sauce and we had a lovely dinner. The kids watched Shazam late into the night. I had the best day reading Michele Schumacher's Women in Christ: Toward a New Feminism. I read half of the 300-page book yesterday. I started at 8 am and got to page 150 as I fell asleep. I am grateful for a peaceful, happy day and I love our home.
Saturday, March 7, 2020
Day 2--Pandemi-cation
Day 2 of our Pandemi-cation was a relaxing day off for all but Ron. With the kids required to stay home from school while the virus hopefully ceases spreading, we had a peaceful day with one another. As mentioned yesterday, Mary had had some of her friends over for dinner, and I learned the next day that dinner turned into a late-night bash that included Jacob and Clare and even Leigh for a bit. Our "primo piano," first floor, which is dedicated to our kids, became a social lounge. There was soccer, singing, and late-night philosophical discussions about the meaning of life and the answer to our heart's yearnings in faith. The parents picked up the guests very late.
The next day, our kids all slept in and then had a slow day. I had lots of quiet time and Sebastian and Annie played and watched Tom and Jerry.
Later, Mary and Jacob came into my room and plopped down on the bed and told me all about the night before and how they are doing in general. We talked about dating, friendship, Italy, college, and being missionaries wherever we are. These are two outstanding young people who are thriving in so many areas of their lives--academic, social, athletic, spiritual. They are such a joy to me--I can hardly express the relief and contentment I experience in their being virtually established as well-formed adults. I can hardly believe the grace God has given us in who they have become. All the other kids are well on their way as well--oh, the blessing.
I took Jacob to a soccer practice and Mary went to a classmate's birthday party in Frascati. Leigh and Clare cuddled up in our living room and watched Father of the Bride.
Ron came home after a long day at work and whisked me out for a date. Being a Friday night in Lent, we went to a restaurant in Grottaferrata that specializes in seafood. I felt a little guilty eating a rich, gourmet meal as though it were a penance! Not knowing what the future holds, whether we will be moved back to the US or moved onto campus and what either of our employment or other work lives will look like in the near future, we savored each moment in the little osteria as though it were our last night in Italy. The bread basket, the frizzante, the mussels with an orange-infused white wine sauce, the artichokes all romana, the seabass--it was all prepared in a way almost impossible to find in the US. The mannerisms of the waiter, the way the Italians dine out--they have such a different attitude and manner in a restaurant than Americans--were lovely to experience. We sat in our uncomfortable little wooden chairs, ate off a table so small that it barely held the dishes, and enjoyed an infused knowledge of what it really means to dine together. I cherish my husband and can hardly believe what joy it is to be married to him. I've never known someone more humble, loving, and merciful. I finished the day with a strong sense of gratitude and awareness of the grace that makes our life so wonderful.
The next day, our kids all slept in and then had a slow day. I had lots of quiet time and Sebastian and Annie played and watched Tom and Jerry.
Later, Mary and Jacob came into my room and plopped down on the bed and told me all about the night before and how they are doing in general. We talked about dating, friendship, Italy, college, and being missionaries wherever we are. These are two outstanding young people who are thriving in so many areas of their lives--academic, social, athletic, spiritual. They are such a joy to me--I can hardly express the relief and contentment I experience in their being virtually established as well-formed adults. I can hardly believe the grace God has given us in who they have become. All the other kids are well on their way as well--oh, the blessing.
I took Jacob to a soccer practice and Mary went to a classmate's birthday party in Frascati. Leigh and Clare cuddled up in our living room and watched Father of the Bride.
Ron came home after a long day at work and whisked me out for a date. Being a Friday night in Lent, we went to a restaurant in Grottaferrata that specializes in seafood. I felt a little guilty eating a rich, gourmet meal as though it were a penance! Not knowing what the future holds, whether we will be moved back to the US or moved onto campus and what either of our employment or other work lives will look like in the near future, we savored each moment in the little osteria as though it were our last night in Italy. The bread basket, the frizzante, the mussels with an orange-infused white wine sauce, the artichokes all romana, the seabass--it was all prepared in a way almost impossible to find in the US. The mannerisms of the waiter, the way the Italians dine out--they have such a different attitude and manner in a restaurant than Americans--were lovely to experience. We sat in our uncomfortable little wooden chairs, ate off a table so small that it barely held the dishes, and enjoyed an infused knowledge of what it really means to dine together. I cherish my husband and can hardly believe what joy it is to be married to him. I've never known someone more humble, loving, and merciful. I finished the day with a strong sense of gratitude and awareness of the grace that makes our life so wonderful.
Thursday, March 5, 2020
Day 1--Schools Closed
Today is Day 1 of the Italian schools and universities being shut down for the next 10 days or more. All 6 kids are at home, and Ron is at work but not having students on campus anymore. What a shock! High schoolers across the area seem thrilled that there is no school and are out having a grand time; and yet it is hard to celebrate too much given the dire circumstances that caused the closure. I have to recalibrate daily: Is this an apocalyptic pandemic? Are millions of people going to die? Is the economy about to collapse? Or should we encourage governments to do all they can to contain the virus but realize that it is not a serious threat, all things considered? After all, there are still well under 100 deaths in Italy (yesterday the count was 79). For the economic hit Italy is experiencing, I am surprised with how seemingly mild the actual virus is. They say it will not be stamped out completely in the next few weeks or months, then will disappear when the flu season is over, and then will return next flu season but will be much less threatening next time around. Are we almost done, then, with a life-endangering threat to babies and the elderly, once the winter is passed? So hard to know.
I am indeed glad that the government closed the schools as well as other crowded locations like cinemas, sports arenas, etc. I think with two weeks of not spreading, the virus can well be contained and the numbers will begin to stagnate and then decrease. I see it as a good move now, for the sake of preserving the summer's tourist industry which is so important to Italy. For us personally, we are hoping that the Summer Rome Program will continue and not be canceled. So anything to help that good end.
How are we handling it? Day 1 began with everyone sleeping in, and then Leigh making the family French toast; Ron going to work, then time for me with the kids, exercise, chores, and Annie and Sebastian playing dress up and imaginary games all day long, ending with a talent show. Jacob sat down with me and we talked for several hours about life and his upcoming departure for college (boo hoo!). Mary went out with friends in Frascati for the afternoon and then brought them here for dinner.
I bravely cooked Mary and her guests spaghetti bolognese, fearing a complete slam that it was not real Italian food but an Americanized version. Italians are very specific about how they like a traditional meal prepared. Mary and Jacob said "no" to my cooking amatriciana or carbonara, since people here are oh-so-particular about how they like it prepared. But I got the go-ahead for bolognese. In my defense, I made the sauce homemade from scratch and cooked it for several hours before serving it, but I was sure the Italian kids would think something like "You never put oregano in bolognese" or something like that. The result? Mary came up to me later and told me that it was a big hit, that they admitted that it was in fact very good. They said it needed a little more salt, to which Mary responded by passing them the salt. The kids bemoaned her and told her never to shake salt on prepared food. The only way to salt pasta is to put it in the boiling water. If you put it on a prepared dish, it is too grainy. Well, you learn something new every day! These are sweet kids and I love having them here for the evening.
Mary is having one of the girls spend the night; Sebastian and Annie are asleep on my floor; Charlie is snuggled next to Annie's head; the tooth fairy must remember to come tonight for the tooth that Annie lost but then got lost again when Ron brought her mattress up to our room. Clare was very quiet today and Leigh just turned in after we had a delightful dinner with her; and Ron is fasting but still managed to put in a long work day.
We have a rich life. I feel immensely blessed and deeply thankful for our health, our safety, our family, the beauty of our little home on this vineyard in this exquisite town. I know the world is having an unsettled time, and it may unsettle me a bit on the exterior. But deep down in the core of who I am, I love being a child of God, long for heaven, and expect this world to pass away sooner or later. I am glad my investment is not in this world but the next. How do you live, then? As St. Therese said, "Wherever you are be love in that place." That is a wonderful approach to life in all its up's, down's and complexities. May it be so that we can be graced with love for God and one another, and may we relish each moment together.
I am indeed glad that the government closed the schools as well as other crowded locations like cinemas, sports arenas, etc. I think with two weeks of not spreading, the virus can well be contained and the numbers will begin to stagnate and then decrease. I see it as a good move now, for the sake of preserving the summer's tourist industry which is so important to Italy. For us personally, we are hoping that the Summer Rome Program will continue and not be canceled. So anything to help that good end.
How are we handling it? Day 1 began with everyone sleeping in, and then Leigh making the family French toast; Ron going to work, then time for me with the kids, exercise, chores, and Annie and Sebastian playing dress up and imaginary games all day long, ending with a talent show. Jacob sat down with me and we talked for several hours about life and his upcoming departure for college (boo hoo!). Mary went out with friends in Frascati for the afternoon and then brought them here for dinner.
I bravely cooked Mary and her guests spaghetti bolognese, fearing a complete slam that it was not real Italian food but an Americanized version. Italians are very specific about how they like a traditional meal prepared. Mary and Jacob said "no" to my cooking amatriciana or carbonara, since people here are oh-so-particular about how they like it prepared. But I got the go-ahead for bolognese. In my defense, I made the sauce homemade from scratch and cooked it for several hours before serving it, but I was sure the Italian kids would think something like "You never put oregano in bolognese" or something like that. The result? Mary came up to me later and told me that it was a big hit, that they admitted that it was in fact very good. They said it needed a little more salt, to which Mary responded by passing them the salt. The kids bemoaned her and told her never to shake salt on prepared food. The only way to salt pasta is to put it in the boiling water. If you put it on a prepared dish, it is too grainy. Well, you learn something new every day! These are sweet kids and I love having them here for the evening.
Mary is having one of the girls spend the night; Sebastian and Annie are asleep on my floor; Charlie is snuggled next to Annie's head; the tooth fairy must remember to come tonight for the tooth that Annie lost but then got lost again when Ron brought her mattress up to our room. Clare was very quiet today and Leigh just turned in after we had a delightful dinner with her; and Ron is fasting but still managed to put in a long work day.
We have a rich life. I feel immensely blessed and deeply thankful for our health, our safety, our family, the beauty of our little home on this vineyard in this exquisite town. I know the world is having an unsettled time, and it may unsettle me a bit on the exterior. But deep down in the core of who I am, I love being a child of God, long for heaven, and expect this world to pass away sooner or later. I am glad my investment is not in this world but the next. How do you live, then? As St. Therese said, "Wherever you are be love in that place." That is a wonderful approach to life in all its up's, down's and complexities. May it be so that we can be graced with love for God and one another, and may we relish each moment together.
Monday, March 2, 2020
coronavirus
The coronavirus has hit our family. Not by way of infection, but by way of the tidal waves of responsiveness to its presence here in Italy. Last week, Ron and I went to a supermarket and stockpiled food for our our family in the case of a lock down. All school-sponsored events have been canceled, and schools may close here as they have in Lombardy and Naples. Then today, the University of Dallas announced its repatriation of students. They will be flying back to the US this week.
Ron and I feel safe from the virus, and no one in our family is in a category (such as being an infant or elderly) that makes them especially vulnerable. We are grateful for our health and safety. The tragedy, to me, is our beloved Italy being hit so hard financially. It is already such a poor country, and I lament for them the economic losses that are already happening especially due to the sudden halt to travel to Italy. Business and tourism has just come to a virtual stop. So hard!
As for us, who knows what the future holds. I can imagine lots of scenarios since Ron's work is now suspended. But I know that "All things work together for good for those who love God and are called according to His purpose" (Rom. 8:28). I trust that God has us in the palm of His hand.
Ron and I feel safe from the virus, and no one in our family is in a category (such as being an infant or elderly) that makes them especially vulnerable. We are grateful for our health and safety. The tragedy, to me, is our beloved Italy being hit so hard financially. It is already such a poor country, and I lament for them the economic losses that are already happening especially due to the sudden halt to travel to Italy. Business and tourism has just come to a virtual stop. So hard!
As for us, who knows what the future holds. I can imagine lots of scenarios since Ron's work is now suspended. But I know that "All things work together for good for those who love God and are called according to His purpose" (Rom. 8:28). I trust that God has us in the palm of His hand.
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