One-of-a-Kind-Christmas

 We have had a one-of-a-kind Christmas. Surreal, peaceful, calm, joyful. It was unusual because it was effortless compared to so many Christmases. Yet all 6 kids were here and such a blessing. I have a sense that this is one of our last Christmases all together and as a family. We were incredibly fortunate that Jacob got to Italy at all due to travel restrictions. The kids are getting so old, 2 are off to college in a week or so, and these days of having this kind of Christmas are numbered. 

 My favorite thing was Florentine steaks, an Italian delicacy, plus mashed potatoes, broccoli, and about 5 desserts. My other favorite thing was the navy blue jewelry that the girls got me from KLK (my favorite jewelry shop) and that Mary in particular was so excited to give me. My other favorite thing was all of us getting to go to Confession on Christmas Eve, and happening upon a priest who speaks perfect English (thank you, LORD!). My other favorite thing was Mass with the organ and strings and beautiful music. My other favorite thing was the song my girls wrote for Granny. My other favorite thing was the really generous gifts some family sent us--so thoughtful! Joe's Barolo was over the top. My other favorite thing was that Sebastian played in his Batman costume from Aunt Kimmy all day long, and was completely preoccupied all day with the race car track Santa brought him. My other favorite thing was how absolutely steady Annie was all day long--constant joy, no crashes, totally humility, and delighting every moment in every detail. My other favorite thing was the cookie nativity set that we spent 3 days making--thank you, Patricia Phillippi, who gave us those cookie cutters years ago! My other favorite thing was Leigh, who had a wonderful birthday, and could not be a more remarkable human being (Love you, Leigh!). 

 

They Said It Couldn't Be Done

They said it couldn't be done to get my car from the US registered in Italy. The car was too far from Italian requirements for emissions; the government is very slow and it would take forever and a day to get it accomplished; even if it ever got registered, it would have the lowest level of emissions rating (Euro 0) which means it would not be able to be driven in cities and on highways. 

Well, although it took a year and a half, it is registered! We have Italian plates. And it got the highest rating, a Euro 6! 

It is intensely delightful to cruise around the Castelli in this little car! Wahoo!

I love Marian Feast Days in ITALY

It is SO SO SO much better to be in Italy than in the U.S. on a Marian feast day! The Feast of the Immaculate Conception is such a joy. The Italians have such a passionate love for Mary, as they have for their own mothers (usually the most important people in their lives). Last year my daughter Mary would regularly tell me about her boyfriend calling his mom at least 3 times every school day. He spent all his breaks on the phone with his mamma. My daughter thought it was incredibly cute and so very Italian (and so very un-American). This love of the Italians for their mothers translates into the Italians' love for Mary. The singing, the processions, the packed churches (even on a Tuesday!). . . oh, I am at HOME today! 

Why do I love Mary? Not because I worship Mary or think she is a goddess or part of the Godhead (all heresies, of course). I love Mary because as my spiritual mother, she gently but firmly leads me to my heart's goal: Jesus. Like human mothers with their children, she knows where I need to go, what I need to focus on, what will turn my brittle, barren self into a watered garden. She knows what will feed my heart and nourish my soul. She knows what will transform me into a fearful and self-protective little girl into a strong, courageous, wise woman. Mary is my mother, the mother of my faith, who daily directs me, consoles me, gives me the advise, pep talks, reminders and the smile that I need to get through the day. She never ever takes away from Jesus in my life. She is always magnifying Jesus. 

It must be impossible for those who do not know Mary to imagine how she does not detract from Jesus. But think about it this way--it's like a human family. If you spend any time with me at all, you'll get to know something about my husband and children. I love them so much and think about them all the time. You cannot spend time without me without hearing stories and anecdotes about them. To be around me is to get to know my children. Well, it is that way but with much greater emphasis for Mary. Her whole vocation is to be the way Jesus came into the world (unlike me, who has a set of interests apart from my kids). Her entire ministry and life and purpose is wrapped up in her Son and his saving work. To get to know Mary IS to get to know Jesus because she is the one most absorbed with him. She loves him more and better than anyone else ever has. To spend any time with Mary is to see Jesus in his best light, to hear from the one most in love with him about him. It's is a two-in-one: It is a relationship that gives you another loving mother (after all, my natural, biological mother loves me with all her heart! Thanks Mom!) plus her Son who saves our lives and rescues us for eternity.  

Bliss at the Trevi

   My good, good husband offered to stay home this weekend with our two youngest kids and our dog, while I went into Rome with our oldest girls plus one of their friends. Rome is on a "fire sale," with rock-bottom deals on hotels and such, since there is no one there. So we found an apartment on the piazza of the Trevi fountain--I mean, overlooking the fountain, for the price of a room at a La Quinta. 

   I insisted to the girls that I would be working the whole time getting my book edits finished. They were happy as clams with that, having a slumber party with a friend and singing late into the night. In the day, Clare had her electric guitar lesson (cooler than cool, right?!), while the others milled about Rome. We found a gorgeous little lunch place, Spaghetteria l'Archetto, and ate one meal together. 

I went really nuts over this bruschetta con carciofi, I almost ordered 5 more. 

 Other than that meal, I did not really see the girls until Sunday Mass--the first Sunday of Advent, my favorite! This little church right on the piazza of the Trevi fountain was so adorable. And they had a chapel devoted to the Sacred Heart of Jesus and St. Margaret Mary Alacoque, whom I have just included in my book. 

   Sitting at the little table of this humble (but well located) apartment late on Saturday night, eating peccorino and salami with some roasted chestnuts, drinking frizzante and a little Barbara d'Alba, listening to the rush of the fountain as I worked on my manuscript, I thought, "I don't have enough human gratitude in my heart for my husband who made this possible and nor for God who designed this night from before the beginning of time." Then I muttered, "Lord, thank you, thank you."

Quote of the Day

 "Being Christian is not the result of an ethical choice or a lofty idea, but the encounter with an event, a person, which gives life a new horizon and a decisive direction." 

                              --Pope Emeritus Benedict XVI, God is Love

Bizarre Thanksgiving Turkey

 Here's a short clip of our family Thanksgiving in Italy--as Ron said, "Party in a Box"

https://youtu.be/4QHqZP2klEM

New Favorite Thomas Aquinas Passage

    I am taking Christology at the Angelicum this semester. Right now we are reading Thomas Aquinas' Summa Theologiae. One passage struck me as one of the most amazing texts I have had the privilege of seeing in a long time. 

     ST III. 8.3: Whether Christ is the head of all men? 

      Thomas is asking whether Christ is the head of the Church or all human beings. The objection runs that he is the head of the Church but not those outside of the Church, since they are not under his influence or sphere of influence. The unbaptized, for example, are not members of the body of Christ, and if Christ is the head of this body, how could they be related to them as having him as their head? And how could those who are baptized but living in sin, apart from the Church, have Christ as their head? 

    Personally this makes sense to me. Haven't some people removed themselves from Christ, explicitly expressing the wish that they not be under Christ's rule or headship? 

       But Aquinas answers: Christ is the head of all human beings, for as Scripture says, he came to propitiate for our sins, and the sins of the whole world (1 John  2:2). Thomas says to consider all human beings as potential members of the mystical body of Christ. Some are members now, some will be in the future; some never will be. Still, Christ came to be the head of all of them. Even those who will never be joined to Christ, Christ came for them. Hence, Aquinas says, Christ is the head of all human beings but diversely. He is the head of those who live in faith and love in a special way, but nevertheless of all people. 

    This is a very powerful text. Sometimes we lose hope for people. Sometimes we lose compassion for people who reject God with such vigor. But Aquinas reminds us: all people belong to him. And so all people ought to belong to each of us as well.  

Learning Cursive

     First grade in Italy is notoriously hard. I had not idea what to expect, but taught Sebastian all his letters and a little early reading this summer. I thought we might be adequately prepared. 

     Oh how I was wrong. The class is doing a cursive-intensive. They are not taking a letter a day; they are doing 4-5 letters a day. Now they are on two letter and even three letter combinations (eg. "bra, bre, bri, bro, bru"). 

   How is a little six-year-old supposed to be able to have the manual skills to do that?>??>>>>??>?????

   I have resorted to homeschool instruction. I am teaching him each letter at home. He had so much resistance at first that he would clam up and shut down. So I broke out the paints. We painted and painted different strokes and shapes and then finally turned them into letters. When he got the letter "h" it was so perfect, the whole family celebrated. 

   We have drawn letters (like the letter "a" below) in the gravel with our feet; we have used finger paints; we even took out Nutella yesterday and wrote huge letter "b's" with it. Then he licked his fingers clean. Now he is a master at "b's"!

   I don't know if he'll be able to keep up with his class, and he may fail first grade, but I dare say he will be great a cursive one day!

Cashing in Points

I can now zoom through razor-thin lanes and not even hold my breath as I pass cars. 

I can understand the basic gist of most conversations and news reports on the radio. 

I already alerted our landlord that we will want the heat turned on soon, since I know it takes 2 weeks to get that to happen. 

I got our family enrolled in the medical system--a HUGE feat. Now we are assigned doctors in Frascati and we won't even have to pay to get check ups and medical attention. 

But the real turning point, the moment at which I realized I am really acting like a local, was cashing in my points at the grocery store. I had used a shoppers' card for the past year and the lady at the checkout station told me I was eligible to receive free groceries next time I went through the line. So I went back and sure enough, I explained to the clerk that I had points and was ready to cash them in ("scalare i punti"). The guy accepted that, checked me out, and I got 60 euros worth of free groceries. I went home and marveled. 

I am really settling in.   

Learning to Read in Italian

 Sebastian is learning to read now that he's in first grade--and it'a all in Italian. His little primer is about a baby bird, Pitti, and his mother. The first page says: 

     Ciao Mamma

     La mamma è buona

That's it! That's the first page that Sebastian has ever read in Italian. He had begun to read in English at home. But here he is starting over, since the sounds and phonograms are different. Thus begins our adventure. At least these Italians love their mammas!

How Not to Cook Dinner for 10 Days

 My husband has been traveling for 10 days with the University of Dallas through southern Italy and Sicily. While he was giving sight lectures at historical and holy sights, I was wrangling 4 kids at home. Our fifth who still lives at home was on a trip in Texas--lucky girl!--and our sixth is in college. On my husband's work trips, I used to feel very sorry for myself--the pity-party used to be intense as I managed 6 kids 9 and under. But now so many of them are self-sufficient at least being able to tie their own shoes. I was determined to be happy and see the 10 days as a sustained party. At least, I told myself, I would not cook dinner for 10 days. And so I did not. 

Day 1: I set out a nice loaf of Italian bread, a block of pecorino cheese, a bottle of wine and another of  Fanta. I had wine, they had Fanta. If anyone wanted something other than bread and cheese, they had to make it themselves. 

Day 2: Pizza Rossa from the bakery section of the grocery store plus chocolate. 

Day 3: My 13-year-old made pasta and marinara sauce. I ate more bread and cheese instead, plus pickles. 

Day 4: Roasted chicken, potatoes, and chicory from the prepared foods in the grocery store. I love Italian chickory. My kids do not. 

Day 5: Pizza from the pizza shop in Frascati.  

Day 6: More pizza from Frascati. 

Day 7: My 13-year-old cooked dinner again, this time roasting meat on a stick (they sell little trays of these sticks at the grocery store) plus more pasta. 

Day 8: Chicken nuggets and BBQ sauce and broccoli. One kid made one and another made the other. More red wine for me and Fanta for them. 

Day 9: In the late morning, I made a big pot of chopped veggies, esp. cabbage and carrots, plus red meat cubes. It cooked all day. We ate it for dinner. (I guess this is cooking dinner, but not at the dinner hour which is the really hard part). 

Day 10: More beef and veggie stew. And more red wine. 

All in all, it was magnificent! It turns out, not cooking in Italy is still a culinary delight! 

Grape Harvest

 This is the season of the grape harvest. The strapping, burly Italian guy hired to do our property's harvest is always smiling, waving, and exudes joy all day long. Then as I drive down the main road in Frascati, I sometimes find myself stuck behind another tractor such as the one in the photo below. Someone else's harvest is being transported to a local winery. These are the traffic slow-downs that put a smile on my face. How did I get here? I ask myself. Fall in Italy is truly the best. 

First Day of First Grade

 Today was Sebastian's first day of first grade, and said it was the best day of his life! He got to see his old friends from last year, especially his best friend Paulo, and I think it was exciting for him to be at his own desk and have actual class. Soon this afternoon we're off to the first day back to soccer. 

  It was Annie's first day back and she is now the oldest grade in the primary school. She is hot stuff. The even bigger news, however, is that last year, there were only five girls in the class--two sets of best friends. . . and then there was Annie. I marveled all year at how we she handled a nightmare situation for any new girl and foreigner. But this year, there is a SIXTH GIRL! Natalia. Praise be to God. I hope and pray that they become fast friends. Annie has the same teacher as last year, who loves Annie and helps her with Italian. All in all I think she is well-situated. 

  Then there are the Villa Sora women--Mary on her first day of senior year! I'm practically in tears thinking about her being gone to college in the blink of an eye! She looked prettier than I've ever seen her today although she was dressed casually and probably put no effort into it at all. I just stared and thought, "How did she become such an extraordinary woman in every way?" She has virtue, character, honor, dignity, a great sense of humor, a genuine faith and a sincere love for her family and friends. Did I mention she is brilliant? Okay, so I love my daughter. 

   Then Clare blew the socks off everyone today. Her teacher had everyone go around the room and introduce themselves and say something they like about the school. Clare introduced herself and explained why she likes the study of the brain, human behavior and social sciences. Her teacher was shocked and said she spoke perfectly in Italian and was amazed at Clare's super-smart comments. Off to a good start, I'd say! 

   Leigh scurried down to the front of our driveway to get picked up by a friend so they could walk into the first day of school together. She has wonderful friends and recently mentioned that she does not miss the US at all (although she loves her friends and family back home) and is incredibly happy here. She told me all about her new teachers and the orientation lectures. I said, "Did you understand what they were saying?" She replied, "Oh sure." This time last year she could not decline a noun or conjugate a verb in Italian correctly! I.CANT.BELIEVE.IT. 

  They say that the first year of moving to a new country is horrible. The second year is much better. The third year is outstanding and you can speak like a native. I am so grateful that we have the first year behind us. Hello, year 2!

 

One of those almost perfect days

 Today is one of those almost-perfect days. . . Annie and Sebastian are snuggled under the covers watching The Sound of Music while Clare is straightening her hair. . . She has posted a video on TicToc and it is going viral, and her sisters are shouting from their bedrooms the number of views as it increases. Here is the video: https://vm.tiktok.com/ZS5AP8vB/

Meanwhile, I am having Zoom meetings with the Mighty Is Her Call team about future plans for events, e-Books and products. We have just put out a Rosary Guide for Mothers online, and I am positively in love with it! Here it is: https://mightyishercall.com/products/#Products/Ebooks

Ron has just finished a 3-day water fast (yikes! How does he do it?!) and maintains his kind, humble demeanor through it all. He is working hard teaching online and looking forward to returning to in-person teaching next week. 

While we've faced all sorts of upheavals, challenges and disappointments in the past 6 months, and have done our fair share of getting upset, grappling with fear and anxiety, it is nice every once in a while to take stock and realize that its all going to be okay. 

Syros and Sifnos

 Our time on the islands of Syros and Sifnos was a highlight of my life--getting rested, enjoying our time together as a family, spending time with Melia, and recalibrating in the midst of our intense life. I give thanks to God for this incredible opportunity! 

Crete

In a rather daring move, we decided to add Crete to our itinerary here in Greece. Not close to other Greek islands, it has a history and culture of its own. We do not think of it as a fine tourist destination, but rather as a place of incredible historical and cultural interest. We have been shocked at the beauty and intrigue of this unique island!

Can't Believe We Get to Be Here

Who knew that when you are stranded in Italy and can't get back to the US, Greece is nearby and cheap!? We wanted to see family (read *Jenna*) in the US, but here we are! 

Captivated by Motherhood Episode 2

If you had ANY IDEA how hard creating videos for YouTube is, I would LOVE TO HEAR FROM YOU! You would NOT believe it. Getting the right camera, the video editing software. . . okay, that is an initial investment. Then watching enough videos to get a sense of what works and is not boring or tirelessly obnoxious. . . that is a project too. All that took me about a month. 

But creating the video--okay, so my desktop was set on iCloud because I don't have that much storage/memory on my computer. But the video editing software cannot process things on the cloud! So it kept "losing" the data!" The videos kept disappearing and I had to spend a week finding the files. . . from outer space. Finally I got the desktop not to go to Icloud. But guess what. Then I did not have enough storage on my hard drive to render or export videos. Uggh!

When you finish creating a video, you have to export it. I exported it as too large of a file. My computer almost crashed due to the large file. I deleted and tried again, with smaller specs. Today. I did that, which took a couple of hours but hooray, I accomplished it. But then tried to upload it to YouTube. Guess how long it took me to upload: 13 hours! I have watched this stupid computer say, "2% uploaded" and then ""3% uploaded" and the "5% uploaded" I am not kidding, all day long. Sometimes it was 30 minutes for 1%. Nightmare! 

So, here you go. I do not even know how it is. I cannot stand to look at it one more second! Forgive mistakes, please! Here is to all the young people who are earnestly trying to figure out their lives and futures. God bless you! This is for you!

https://youtu.be/zoDJON3NhTY

Piazza di Spagna

Rome has never been more beautiful. Preparing for our trip to Greece, I went in to Rome yesterday for a few things. I walked down Via della Croce and passed a restaurant that my family ate at 9 years ago. We had all flown over to Rome for Ron's first summer at the Summer Rome Program for University of Dallas.  We had landed, set down our bags, and then took the bus into Rome and walked around trying to stay awake. We rested at a little pizzeria on Via della Croce. Today it is just the same, with the red and white checkered tablecloths and little tables outside with umbrellas casting a comfortable shadow. We ordered several pizzas and my 5 year old exclaimed, "This one smells like fish!" We had mistakenly ordered a pizza napolitana, which has anchovies! We got a big kick out of that. Thank goodness we had many other mouth-watering options. 

I continued my stroll, thinking of the blessing of all the summers we have spent here for Ron's work, and now living here and my children being close to fluent in Italian. Soon Via della Croce led me into the Piazza di Spagna. I could hardly believe my eyes at the beauty and serenity of the scene. Romans meandered, children rode bikes, Bernini's fountain trickled and splashed. I could not help but notice the obvious absence of non-EU tourists. The piazza was spacious and glistening in the gentle sun. I walked a little further till I could see the statue of Mary on the pillar at the other end of the piazza. I stopped and took in the sight. 

"When would I one day leave Rome?" I wondered. I told my heart to remember this moment and keep it with me forever. 

Saying Goodbye

Saying goodbye to Jacob--taking him to the airport at 4am in Rome, sending him off to Dallas--was one of the hardest things I've ever done. And yet who could ask for more? Who could have more reason to give thanks and celebrate? This is my first-born child who has been faithful, loving, and totally committed to our family. He hopes that by going to the University of Dallas, his sisters will follow him there, and then they will all settle down in Texas near each other and raise their families together. Be still my heart! I do not think I could be more fortunate. 

  

So why are my eyes so red and puffy, my stomach in knots, and my heart broken in two? How is there such a huge, gaping hole in our home today? Why isn't there someone wondering where his next 3,000 calories are going to come from and if there is adequate protein in them? Why isn't there someone who brightens my mood when he walks into the room? How do we be a family without him? 

I cannot write this message without bawling! I can't even see the screen! {lease fgorive typos

Final Episode on "At Home With Jim and Joy"

Here is the second part of the interview--Jim and Joy are incredible in how much they appreciate our ministry, Mighty Is Her Call, and the notion of the Christ-like, Eucharistic notion of motherhood. I truly appreciate their enthusiasm for our vision of the sacredness of this call!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qiJxe5PkDro

First Episode of EWTN show

Here is the first episode of my interview on "At Home with Jim and Joy"! 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vf0G4S5R-Z4

Filming for EWTN

I am scheduled to be on EWTN's "At Home with Jim and Joy" show today and Friday. It has taken me two days to recover from the filming! The producer had send me a checklist of all the things I needed to have in order technology-wise. Although we have limited resources here in our house in Frascati, we had obtained real WIFI and gotten a LAN line so that the connection would be as strong as possible. I diligently went through the whole checklist, tested and re-tested the connection, had a microphone, earphones, the whole works. 

  Well on filming day, I suddenly had no WIFI. I told Ron and he came and discovered wires, jumbled and broken, coming out of our wall! 

I still have no idea what happened. Our kids covet WIFI so much that I know no one did it deliberately (even to sabotage their mother making a fool of herself on international television). The timing was surreal: 2 hours before the filming. 

 

It just so happened that I had gotten ready early, and was already prepped. So, we shifted to plan B: go to the UD campus and film there. I brought makeup, a wardrobe change, the mike, earphones, computer, phone, connection wires, adapters, the LAN line. . . the works. The kids carried to the car a huge Madonna and Child, a lamp, and a hammer and nails. 

It was about the most amazing thing I've ever seen--my sweet family worked so hard to help out! 

And then they waited so patiently when it went well past their dinner time. We went out to celebrate afterwards--the connection worked well and I was able to share the story of going from being a NYC feminist to becoming Catholic to being an open to life mother--and finding in that vocation my greatest fulfillment. 

New Video Series on Motherhood

For many months, I've been longing to share more of my love for the vocation of motherhood. I've completed a class at the Angelicum on the Eucharist, and am thinking about eucharistic themes in this vocation. Let me know what you think of my first episode of "Captivated by Motherhood"!

https://youtu.be/2Pkm3gxC6FM

Stitches

On Sunday, Sebastian busted his mouth while wrestling with his siblings. Blood gushed and we saw his lip was partially detached. So, Ron, Jacob and I rushed him to the emergency room here in Frascati. 

   

Sebastian was so terrified to get stitches that the fear of it was worse than the injury. But in the end, he got a little local anesthesia and two stitches which were just not that big of a deal. 

Two days later, much improved, he was dribbling a basketball and he re-injured his wound. He bled and we applied ice and told him, "No more basketball." 

Just like the "Five Little Monkeys Jumping on the Bed" song, he then dribbled the basketball again (when we were not looking), re-injured it again, and this time, he partially detached his lip again. The stitches are still in place, but part of his lip is jutting out in a way it was not before. 

We are not taking him back for more stitches. He is just "ALL BOY" and cannot keep a basketball out of his hands, even when injured. I think this is the second of many, many stitches and trips to the ER! 

Leigh Learning Greek

Leigh is such a superstar! She has been studying German as a hobby for the past 4-5 months. . . a hobby! Even during school months! She would finish her schoolwork and then open up her German textbook. 

   Now she is picking up ancient Greek! Here she is with Ron, her uber-qualified teacher! 

Happy 4th!

How do you celebrate the fourth of July when you live abroad? Clare's answer: Make fried chicken! We bought a deep fryer (we had been pondering this purchase for a whole year since we have ambitions to make suppli--Italian rice balls--and french fries). We spent several days trying it out and getting used to it. Then the big day arrived! Clare and I started cooking at 9am and we finished at 7pm. Her recipe was for buttermilk southern fried chicken, and so we made buttermilk from scratch. it turned out so well! So did the onion rings--they were incredible. We had a family over for dinner and had a delightful time! Clare's chicken was a big hit! Leigh was also a pro in the kitchen--she made mashed potatoes with the homemade butter (from the buttermilk event) and also made homemade peach cobbler and fruit salad. It was really to die for. 

   

My favorite part: there is an expression: "Too many cooks in the kitchen ruins the stew." In our case, most of the 8 of us were in the kitchen for 10 hours, and we got along so well. It was a really joyful time. Who knew that was even possible?

God bless (and help!) America! 

 

Dinner in Rome

I spent the day in Rome and then the family met me at a pizzeria near the Colosseum. Such a beautiful night with no tourists--except us (are we tourists? We're residents but not Italians. . . hard to know. . . ).  We walked around while street musicians were performing and soaked up Bella Roma!