Last night, my dear friends heard yet another comment about my debilitating fatigue resulting from Annie's sleepless nights. They all chimed in, "She probably has an ear infection! Take her in!" It never would have occurred to me, since Annie has no fever and her symptoms are explicable by her teething. But after being up literally half the night, I called the doctor this morning and we went right in. A sweet homeschooling teenager down the street even came over to watch the other four, so it was just me and Annie.
The doctor could not find anything wrong: no ear infection, no fever, not even a runny nose! She was acting all sweet and cuddly. It was looking like a worthless trip!
Then I suggested strep. The doctor said that was the last resort, but that Annie's throat was not especially red or infected by appearance. But she did the culture anyway.
Positive! Annie has strep!! I was elated.
But I hate antibiotics: I could already envision all the sicknesses down the pike, after I decimate Annie's immune system--just in time for cold and flu season!
I went straight to the health food store. Our guy there set me up with colloidal silver plus acidophilus. He even showed me magnesium gel to put on kids' feet before bed to help them get a good night's rest!!
Sleep might be around the corner, for Ron, Annie and me!
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
Sunday, September 25, 2011
strategy of patience
Mom and Harville gave Jake a movie for his birthday, PAUL VI. I watched it twice. It is the best movie I have seen in a long time.
One of the best lines is in a conversation in which the young Karol Wojtyla approaches the current pope, Paul VI. They are at the second Vatican Council. Karol asks, "I would like any advise you have for me; I am dealing with the communists in Poland. You have dealt with both communists and facists. What should I do?" Paul VI replies, "The best advise I have to offer is: the best strategy is the strategy of patience. And never be afraid to dialogue--no matter what."
That was so encouraging to me to hear. Patience through a trial, with ample doses of dialogue (even if the issue is still unresolved, even if the problem is not totally repaired), is sometimes the highest path.
In my immaturity, I see in myself that I want what I want when I want it. The mature version of that is PATIENCE!
One of the best lines is in a conversation in which the young Karol Wojtyla approaches the current pope, Paul VI. They are at the second Vatican Council. Karol asks, "I would like any advise you have for me; I am dealing with the communists in Poland. You have dealt with both communists and facists. What should I do?" Paul VI replies, "The best advise I have to offer is: the best strategy is the strategy of patience. And never be afraid to dialogue--no matter what."
That was so encouraging to me to hear. Patience through a trial, with ample doses of dialogue (even if the issue is still unresolved, even if the problem is not totally repaired), is sometimes the highest path.
In my immaturity, I see in myself that I want what I want when I want it. The mature version of that is PATIENCE!
Gentle Giants
Ron went to Houston this weekend to be with his Mom in the hospital. Our kids were terribly disappointed to not be able to go see their grandparents and great grandparents near Houston. So even though I was solo, I arranged for play dates on Fri. evening and all day Saturday (after soccer games, that is).
On Sat. afternoon, there were eight children here, plus Annie. These children were a sight to behold: two boys Jake's age rough housed and romped around with Jake. Yet they were so thoughtful and kind--it was like having gentle giants tumbling in our rec room. Five girls played without one tear, one complaint--everyone cooperated, used kind voices, shared and took turns. Mary knew not to overtake Clare's time with Clare's friend (a miracle in itself!), and occasionally played with the boys. It was truly, truly like watching eight little angels frolic about the house.
And then there was ANNIE! Tougher on me than all 8 older children combined! :)
On Sat. afternoon, there were eight children here, plus Annie. These children were a sight to behold: two boys Jake's age rough housed and romped around with Jake. Yet they were so thoughtful and kind--it was like having gentle giants tumbling in our rec room. Five girls played without one tear, one complaint--everyone cooperated, used kind voices, shared and took turns. Mary knew not to overtake Clare's time with Clare's friend (a miracle in itself!), and occasionally played with the boys. It was truly, truly like watching eight little angels frolic about the house.
And then there was ANNIE! Tougher on me than all 8 older children combined! :)
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
A Carmelite Nun Day
I had a day that was like being a Carmelite nun! Poverty, self-denial, and bliss. The wreck of a day was drenched in the Spirit of God.
Annie is a complete catastrophe. She is teething: drooling like a faucet, fever, runny nose, cranky. She wants you to put her down. Then she screams when you put her down and acts like you have abandoned her to the netherworld. She demands to be picked back up. She arches her back and screams at the top of her lungs if you sit down next to another child to check their handwriting or their spelling lesson. She is truly, truly a piece of work--up all night, and then hell all day. This has been going on for three weeks. I could not imagine a child being so hard if I just imagined having a child. It would be like a farce, like an exaggerated comedy that was a spoof on parenthood. The spoof is on me!
So this morning I woke up and prayed with all my might that this day was entirely His, and I would just do anything so long as He stayed beside me. I prayed this out loud, in bed with four girls draped around the bed--I prayed like I was about to be sent to the guillotine. The girls looked with peaked attention.
After a few hours of a torturous morning that was strangely peaceful given the circumstances, it was time for Annie's nap.
Instead of one and a half hours, she slept for 35 minutes. I almost wept. But I trusted in God.
I brought her downstairs, and discovered that she was in the best of moods. She was laughing, giggling, totally adorable. So I canceled school for a couple of hours, and we just enjoyed her.
The a pool fence lady came over to give us a bid. She was shocked and amazed at the shoes lined up, the polite children. . . we were like Martians to her. She finally left. I went to put Annie back down for another nap. Annie woke up less than an hour later.
Although every moment was my worst case scenario, it was never really bad. The worse events happened, but God kept all our spirits high. We got all the school done, mopped and vacuumed the floors, did laundry, cleaned the splattered mess in the bathroom from Clare's bloody nose last night, made a meal for a family that just had a baby and still had food for ourselves to eat. By the time the day was done, Annie was playing with everyone like it was Christmas morning. She was a little disruptive during prayers, but goodness, she IS a little prayer.
I had no control of the day. I have no idea what school work was done. I have not done ten things I was supposed to do. I yielded to the torture, and grace came back to bless me. It truly is a mystery how the Spirit of God teaches us trust.
I pray to God with all my heart that Annie sleeps tonight and that the teething ends soon!
Annie is a complete catastrophe. She is teething: drooling like a faucet, fever, runny nose, cranky. She wants you to put her down. Then she screams when you put her down and acts like you have abandoned her to the netherworld. She demands to be picked back up. She arches her back and screams at the top of her lungs if you sit down next to another child to check their handwriting or their spelling lesson. She is truly, truly a piece of work--up all night, and then hell all day. This has been going on for three weeks. I could not imagine a child being so hard if I just imagined having a child. It would be like a farce, like an exaggerated comedy that was a spoof on parenthood. The spoof is on me!
So this morning I woke up and prayed with all my might that this day was entirely His, and I would just do anything so long as He stayed beside me. I prayed this out loud, in bed with four girls draped around the bed--I prayed like I was about to be sent to the guillotine. The girls looked with peaked attention.
After a few hours of a torturous morning that was strangely peaceful given the circumstances, it was time for Annie's nap.
Instead of one and a half hours, she slept for 35 minutes. I almost wept. But I trusted in God.
I brought her downstairs, and discovered that she was in the best of moods. She was laughing, giggling, totally adorable. So I canceled school for a couple of hours, and we just enjoyed her.
The a pool fence lady came over to give us a bid. She was shocked and amazed at the shoes lined up, the polite children. . . we were like Martians to her. She finally left. I went to put Annie back down for another nap. Annie woke up less than an hour later.
Although every moment was my worst case scenario, it was never really bad. The worse events happened, but God kept all our spirits high. We got all the school done, mopped and vacuumed the floors, did laundry, cleaned the splattered mess in the bathroom from Clare's bloody nose last night, made a meal for a family that just had a baby and still had food for ourselves to eat. By the time the day was done, Annie was playing with everyone like it was Christmas morning. She was a little disruptive during prayers, but goodness, she IS a little prayer.
I had no control of the day. I have no idea what school work was done. I have not done ten things I was supposed to do. I yielded to the torture, and grace came back to bless me. It truly is a mystery how the Spirit of God teaches us trust.
I pray to God with all my heart that Annie sleeps tonight and that the teething ends soon!
Monday, September 19, 2011
excising people out of your life
A hard subject--These are my thoughts, for what they are worth. Read at your own risk!
If there is one thing I have learned in my imperfect search for what is most true, it is that you cannot excise people out of your life. While some relationships come to a natural end (such as friends who graduate from high school and do not keep in touch), it is never possible to kill a relationship. If you try, it haunts you--in eliminating one problem, you have invited another which tends to be much worse. If you have the most rotten person in the world as your parent or sibling, you have to learn how to make peace with that fact. You have to learn how to be their prayer advocate before God, or find some constructive role to play in their life, even if you do not speak with that person.
How does a parent feel when an adult child tries to cut him out of his life? It seems objectively wrong, something against nature.
Now, to make a hard subject even harder. . .
It is the very same logic behind eliminating pregnancies. Just as a parent does not want a child to cut him out of his life, so too a child should not be excised out of a parent's life. Once there is a little life attached to a mother, it is against nature to eliminate it, no matter how upset the person is to be pregnant.
There are many young girls and women who do not want their child-in-utero. But there are many adults who do not want their parents. They want to get them out of their life. Adults should not get parents out of their lives; they should find something responsible and constructive to do with their relationship. Likewise, a woman or girl with an unwanted pregnancy should not eliminate the pregnancy. She should find something responsible to do with that relationship.
Many people, from popes to hippies to new age gurus, talk about a civilization of love and peace on earth.
This will never happen until people learn to make peace with and find genuine solutions for problematic children and parents and siblings and bosses and institutions and nations. We cannot attack them, kill them or eliminate them. It brings about more problems than solutions. Divorce is not a real solution to a problematic marriage. Terrorism is not a real solution to a problematic government. Abortion is not a real solution to an unwanted pregnancy.
Oh, how I do long for a civilization of love!
Again, sorry it's such a heavy topic! But it's important! I have a long way to go to get to the bottom of it, but this is my inchoate thought for now!
Sunday, September 18, 2011
PRESTO PESTO!
Look at all that basil! We have mountains and mountains of it.
Now that's A LOT of pesto sauce!
We also have watermelons growing. I can't believe it! Watermelons!
We even have a cantaloupe that is growing by accident--it is on a vine that has sprouted out of our compost bin.
Lesson I get from my cantaloupe: if you are thoughtful about what was originally trash, it can become fruitful! :)
We also have watermelons growing. I can't believe it! Watermelons!
We even have a cantaloupe that is growing by accident--it is on a vine that has sprouted out of our compost bin.
Lesson I get from my cantaloupe: if you are thoughtful about what was originally trash, it can become fruitful! :)
Saturday, September 17, 2011
spelling
Jake is such a good student. But he has a problem, on the level of a clinical disability, with spelling.
I gave him a spelling test. 20 words from the level lower than his other schoolwork. 10 words learned, then 10 more, then a test.
He got 3 words wrong--about 80%-ish, then, correct. So in a cheerful voice I said, "Time to learn those 3 words--the FUN WAY!" I took out paints and a paintbrush, and we went over to the easel. I had him write the correct spelling with a Sharpie, and then paint it all down the page.
On the second word, he spelled it at the top, and then was painting down the page, and I turned to help Clare with her assignment. Moments later, I looked back at Jake: the word was painted WRONG all the way down the page! As wrong as it was on the test.
I lay prostrate on the floor and prayed! Poor guy. I got up, went to talk with him, and we laughed and tried again. I told the girls to come over, and that the rest of the day, we were all going to learn how to spell "believe." We sang it, we chanted it, we wrote it in 10 different ways on several different surfaces with several different media. I have a strong hunch that Leigh can spell it, but that Jake still cannot.
I love that little guy. He is SO GOOD at so many things. He is an amazing writer--fiction. He amazing at theology. He is outstanding at history and excellent at math. But he cannot play soccer and other such sports, and he cannot spell.
I will, of course, keep searching out every good technique out there for remedial spelling. But in the meantime, it's all about loving him where he is, and not getting upset! God loves each of us where we are, and is whispering mercy to us from that place.
I gave him a spelling test. 20 words from the level lower than his other schoolwork. 10 words learned, then 10 more, then a test.
He got 3 words wrong--about 80%-ish, then, correct. So in a cheerful voice I said, "Time to learn those 3 words--the FUN WAY!" I took out paints and a paintbrush, and we went over to the easel. I had him write the correct spelling with a Sharpie, and then paint it all down the page.
On the second word, he spelled it at the top, and then was painting down the page, and I turned to help Clare with her assignment. Moments later, I looked back at Jake: the word was painted WRONG all the way down the page! As wrong as it was on the test.
I lay prostrate on the floor and prayed! Poor guy. I got up, went to talk with him, and we laughed and tried again. I told the girls to come over, and that the rest of the day, we were all going to learn how to spell "believe." We sang it, we chanted it, we wrote it in 10 different ways on several different surfaces with several different media. I have a strong hunch that Leigh can spell it, but that Jake still cannot.
I love that little guy. He is SO GOOD at so many things. He is an amazing writer--fiction. He amazing at theology. He is outstanding at history and excellent at math. But he cannot play soccer and other such sports, and he cannot spell.
I will, of course, keep searching out every good technique out there for remedial spelling. But in the meantime, it's all about loving him where he is, and not getting upset! God loves each of us where we are, and is whispering mercy to us from that place.
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
Ole!
Had a fun-filled evening with Ron, Mom and Dad at a mexican restaurant!
Celebrated Dad's 76th birthday! My favorite thing about the evening--in addition to Mom standing up and singing harmony with the mariachi band--was that they knew all the words to "Down in El Paso." That's pretty darn impressive--there are LOTS of verses!
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
favorite thing about today
Today we celebrated Jake's birthday. We had an action packed Labor Day weekend, complete with boating, sleepovers for the kids with grandparents, donuts, swimming, kneeboarding, and the like.
But today, topping it all off, we had cake, gifts, a movie at home, and a swim in the pool. I've never heard of a kid having cake and gifts IN a pool, but that is what we did.
But my very favorite thing about today was Ron's comment when he got home. He walked into the sun room and noticed--how nice of him to notice!--dozens of piles of clean and folded laundry, ready to be put away. He exclaimed, "Katie! My goodness! You are amazing!! Look at all the work you have done for us! Laundry, a wonderful dinner already made; you've home schooled all the kids, straightened the house, and taken care of Annie through it all. How lucky we all are to have you!!!" It is small work, and not really a heroic amount of it. I have done more in a day. But that was what was so nice: he treated one of my normal day's work as something to celebrate. I think that's how God sees a good day's work. I LOVE my husband!!!!
But today, topping it all off, we had cake, gifts, a movie at home, and a swim in the pool. I've never heard of a kid having cake and gifts IN a pool, but that is what we did.
But my very favorite thing about today was Ron's comment when he got home. He walked into the sun room and noticed--how nice of him to notice!--dozens of piles of clean and folded laundry, ready to be put away. He exclaimed, "Katie! My goodness! You are amazing!! Look at all the work you have done for us! Laundry, a wonderful dinner already made; you've home schooled all the kids, straightened the house, and taken care of Annie through it all. How lucky we all are to have you!!!" It is small work, and not really a heroic amount of it. I have done more in a day. But that was what was so nice: he treated one of my normal day's work as something to celebrate. I think that's how God sees a good day's work. I LOVE my husband!!!!
Sunday, September 4, 2011
preparing for death
Today Ron spoke with his parents at great length about his Mom's wishes for her hospice care, her death and her funeral. I was there for a small portion of the time. I had discussed it with Ron at some length, but never had all four of us talked together so directly.
Donna was the person who wanted to discuss it the most. Ron did her a great favor by bringing it up with both of them in the same room, and taking it head on.
My greatest hopes for her are coming true--that she would be at peace with God and her loved ones.
My greatest concern for her now is that the practical issues are decided very soon, so as to mitigate the chance of family ruptures when she declines and passes away. Tensions are always a possibility, but good organization and thoughtfulness in advance will be a good preventative measure. While tensions are a possibility, so is growth and unity.
Ron's heart is so pure, and so full of the holiest grief I have ever seen. What a sacred time, walking through this with him.
Donna was the person who wanted to discuss it the most. Ron did her a great favor by bringing it up with both of them in the same room, and taking it head on.
My greatest hopes for her are coming true--that she would be at peace with God and her loved ones.
My greatest concern for her now is that the practical issues are decided very soon, so as to mitigate the chance of family ruptures when she declines and passes away. Tensions are always a possibility, but good organization and thoughtfulness in advance will be a good preventative measure. While tensions are a possibility, so is growth and unity.
Ron's heart is so pure, and so full of the holiest grief I have ever seen. What a sacred time, walking through this with him.
Saturday, September 3, 2011
meeting the challenge
There are some prayer intentions I pray for everyday. One of them is a true impossibility: it feels like it would take a miracle.
New subject: Annie has been SO HARD of late. She screams and thrashes when I try to put her down for a nap; yesterday, she threw a temper tantrum that lasted over an hour--that is a LONG TIME. Of course I did everything I knew to do, but sometimes, you just have to say, "This too shall pass." You can't fix everything in the moment.
Annie has be so hard that I have considered quitting homeschooling. After the hour long temper tantrum yesterday during which I resolved to quit homeschooling, I arrived downstairs to an immaculate kitchen and four sweet children quietly tending to their assignments. Oh my goodness! Clearly, they are not the problem, and sending them to a different school would not fix my wild toddler.
So I thought about it. In an otherwise wonderful life, I have a temporary nightmare, which is a tantrum throwing toddler. It is an isolated issue. What do I do about that?
Then it hit me: Annie is a perfect match for that prayer request! Offering up the challenges that she presents to me consistently for this one intention--AHA! I finally have power in my prayers because of the hardship with Annie. As I offer up her behavior right now for this one intention, I can be "content in all things," as Paul says. I am content in this short-lived hardship, since it has power in it for God's vision of things. Not to mention the fact that Annie gets to be blessed by cooperating in the advancement of good in the world without even knowing it. Surely, her soul will be blessed in a deep-seated way through the process. God, grant me the ability to stay "content" and hopeful!
New subject: Annie has been SO HARD of late. She screams and thrashes when I try to put her down for a nap; yesterday, she threw a temper tantrum that lasted over an hour--that is a LONG TIME. Of course I did everything I knew to do, but sometimes, you just have to say, "This too shall pass." You can't fix everything in the moment.
Annie has be so hard that I have considered quitting homeschooling. After the hour long temper tantrum yesterday during which I resolved to quit homeschooling, I arrived downstairs to an immaculate kitchen and four sweet children quietly tending to their assignments. Oh my goodness! Clearly, they are not the problem, and sending them to a different school would not fix my wild toddler.
So I thought about it. In an otherwise wonderful life, I have a temporary nightmare, which is a tantrum throwing toddler. It is an isolated issue. What do I do about that?
Then it hit me: Annie is a perfect match for that prayer request! Offering up the challenges that she presents to me consistently for this one intention--AHA! I finally have power in my prayers because of the hardship with Annie. As I offer up her behavior right now for this one intention, I can be "content in all things," as Paul says. I am content in this short-lived hardship, since it has power in it for God's vision of things. Not to mention the fact that Annie gets to be blessed by cooperating in the advancement of good in the world without even knowing it. Surely, her soul will be blessed in a deep-seated way through the process. God, grant me the ability to stay "content" and hopeful!
Thursday, September 1, 2011
fartin' Martin
We are hosting a weekly homeschool co-op. A dozen 3rd and 4th graders are in our home every Thursday with 2 teachers. I spend the day with Annie--it harkens back to having Baby Jake! I love hosting the co-op. It is SO GOOD for my kids.
Well today, a little guy named Martin was there late 'cause his mom was late picking him up. I put him to work with my kids, cleaning the room and taking down the tables and chairs.
While spraying down a table, he says to me, "My nickname is Fartin' Martin." Looking at this thin, pious-looking ten year old, I thought my ears had deceived me.
"What?"
"They call me 'Fartin' Martin because farting is my hobby."
I have laughed about that all day long. Sometimes little joys are so unexpected!
Well today, a little guy named Martin was there late 'cause his mom was late picking him up. I put him to work with my kids, cleaning the room and taking down the tables and chairs.
While spraying down a table, he says to me, "My nickname is Fartin' Martin." Looking at this thin, pious-looking ten year old, I thought my ears had deceived me.
"What?"
"They call me 'Fartin' Martin because farting is my hobby."
I have laughed about that all day long. Sometimes little joys are so unexpected!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)