Lunar Eclipse!

     The lunar eclipse is so beautiful!  I sat out and watched it with Ron and Jake.  The last one I saw, 25 years ago, was with my dad.  Miss you, RAK!
     Speaking of Jake, today Jake sat down next to me and said, "I'm thinking about becoming a parish priest.  I think I could make huge changes for the good."
     It was a big moment for me.  I am so proud of him!

Upside Down Living

     As a mother, I feel like I am living a life upside down.  That does not just mean that I am keeping a crazy pace that is topsy-turvy!  What is also upside down are my priorities.
     I began my adult life wanting to promote myself.  I wanted an impressive career.  I wanted comfort and security.  I wanted to make a name for myself.
     But motherhood is the happy detour that I took, and it led me to a whole new place.
     I want what is best for my children. . . which is often in conflict with any self-promotion.  I have chosen huge portions of my day, week, month and year to be with them, which meant sacrificing the career I might have had.  I have chosen time with them instead of a full-time job, which means forfeiting financial security we might have had.
     I love my work as a philosophy instructor.  I love teaching.  I love the research project I am working on.  But what I love the most is that my family comes first.
    When I teach about philosophical views of happiness, isn't it good that I actually became happy?  It took choosing family life as first priority to live it out.  Now I can teach it--even though I am just teaching part-time--and do so with more authority than if I had promoted my teaching career.  Isn't that ironic and fascinating?  
   

I Miss You Too!

    "Are you happy to be going to school, Leigh?"
    "Yes!  Except, I really miss you, Mom," as she pats me on the arm.
     Now, THAT is sweet.

    I really DO miss home schooling!

Everybody Wants a Special Life

     Everybody wants a special life.  Everybody wants to do something significant, something important, something exciting.
    When she was alive, my grandmother used to recount that one day, when her children were raised and gone, she sat on her front porch steps and wondered, "Is this all?  What is my life for?"
     We all have those moments.  What makes our lives meaningful?  What is it that gives them that special purpose by which we are satisfied that we have made the most of our time on this earth?
    For me, that meaning comes through motherhood.
    It is not just the relationships themselves--although they are wonderful.  But one day, like my grandmother's children, mine, too, will be gone.  My purpose in life is not about my children per se.
    It is that motherhood is a way to be like God.  It is in imitation of the divine.
    Motherhood is about giving our life for another--as Christ gave his life for us.
    Motherhood is about serving in humility, in poverty, and being low-profile, low-status, low recognition--just like Christ.
    Motherhood is about shedding blood for others--just like Christ.
    Motherhood is about nourishing others with our own bodies--just like Christ.
    Motherhood is about interceding for others in a powerful way--just like Christ.
    Motherhood is about dying to ourselves and becoming a gift to another--just like Christ.
    Motherhood is about new life--just like Christ.

   If we want to be really special, and want our lives to be extraordinary, we need not make six figures or make a public name for ourselves.  We need not impress strangers or have a flashy image.  If we want to have meaningful lives, we should shoot for the highest mark: the Blessed Trinity.  We should try to become like God in every way.  Then we will have lasting, eternal significance.
    How many ways there are to be like God!  Motherhood is the way God has given to so many of us to become like Him.  
 

Sebastian's First Haircut

   The little cherub bit me, screamed and thrashed as I cut off his longest curly locks (which looked like a mullet and so it was definitely time)!
    But now he looks like a cherub again!

Book. . . What book?

    It is so funny. . . my friend/editor saw me recently, and mentioned the book I am writing and she is editing.  She asked me about the number of chapters I plan to write.  I got confused as to how many I have even written so far.  I thought that was sort of funny--not even to know.
    But then, even funnier: I was just looking for the document on my computer and I cannot even find it!!!  I am sure it is there somewhere.  But goodness, what a low priority!!
    What is a HIGH priority for me is: hearing about my children's days, hearing about their friends, hearing about their schoolwork; making meals as wonderfully as I can; making the most of these last five years that I have with all of my children home.  Jacob will graduate and go to college in 5 short years, and I am making the most of this time!

"The perfection of charity"

     In every Mass, we pray that God would give us the grace to bring us to the "perfection of charity," that to which Christ commands us at the end of the Sermon on the Mount (Matt. 5?48).  Really??!?  The perfection of charity?  Perfect love of every single person, including strangers, our enemies,  ourselves?  That is a really tall order.  

     A friend told me many years ago: "I know God has called you to the perfection of charity."  I???  That seemed impossible.  But she was correct: ALL of us are called to it.  Not just I, but you, and everyone.  

     These days, that phrase is standing out to me in Mass.  I am really ran to reflect on it. 

     The hard thing about that is that to be loving, I have to put others before myself.  So, perfect love depends on humility--LOTS of humility.  That is no easy thing for me. 

     The great thing about it, however, is that we are called to perfect CHARITY, not perfection as such.  I don't have to be perfect at writing thank you notes or in speaking just right in conversation.  I can forget a birthday or misunderstand someone's intention.  I can have HUGE failings, actually, and be tragically erroneous in how I approach someone or something.  I might have horrible blemishes in the fabric of my life.  I might terribly regret choices I've made or the miseries that my life has taken me through.  

    God does not need us to be superstars.  God does not need us to be free of error.  God does not want us to be gods.  Rather,  God just wants us to be humble, quick to forgive, and free of malice, resentment and wrath.  God wants us to embrace our failings and our mis-steps, and let them help us become smaller in our own estimation of ourselves.  Then He can be bigger in our lives, and we can love Him more perfectly.   

     Lord, purify us of the obstacles to LOVE! 

I've got the joy

  Every morning, Clare (of all people) starts us off with a song on the car ride to school: "I've got the joy, joy, joy, joy, down in my heart."  She likes starting the day off with joy.  She says it makes the whole day go well.
    I'll tell you what I WOULD HAVE PAID 5 years ago for one little song to keep her joyful all day!  She has really, really improved from her miserable, autistic days.  She is radiant.  She is glowing.  She loves school.  She is fitting in.  She is making friends.  She is horrible at some school work, but great at others.  That's what I call "normal."  We have a zero stress policy about grades, and that is because these kids already work so hard.  It is leaning in the right direction.
    Two weeks of school--Clare is flourishing.  I am SO GRATEFUL!  It is years and years of work on my part, coming to fruition.  For a child who has autistic tendencies, it is like seeing a healed child.  Oh, I am so grateful!!

Happy Birthday, Jacob!

   Ron, Jacob, and another Dad took 6 boys to the lake--they had a blast.  It is really something to see Jacob turn into a young man.
    The other Dad told Ron that Jacob corrected one of his friends who had taken the Lord's name in vain.  Ron said to the Dad, "Oh, I hope Jake wasn't too rough!"  The dad said, "No, I'll tell you what I saw.  Leadership!"
    Blessings upon you, Jacob, as you enter adulthood.  May your life be inundated with grace from God!