The second hunt was an Easter egg hunt--one day, this will be over. What fun it is while it lasts! Here are the kids dying the eggs, with Granny's help!
Sunday, March 31, 2013
Easter Hunts
The first hunt was for Easter shoes in the attic--the girls' clothes bins are treasures of gold!
The second hunt was an Easter egg hunt--one day, this will be over. What fun it is while it lasts! Here are the kids dying the eggs, with Granny's help!
The second hunt was an Easter egg hunt--one day, this will be over. What fun it is while it lasts! Here are the kids dying the eggs, with Granny's help!
Saturday, March 30, 2013
What a Triduum!
The Triduum is the three day period before Easter that, in the Catholic tradition, is treated as one event that lasts three days. It begins on Holy Thursday with the Washing of the Feet and the Institution of the Eucharist. But that Mass does not technically end, and it goes into the next day, in which we re-live the Crucifixion. Then on Saturday night, we enter a bare, dark church, Christ dead and in the tomb. We read many texts from Genesis onward, about God's plan, culminating in the Resurrection. Then we are there to witness the first moment of the Resurrection: the moment when God conquers death: the Triumph over Sin and Death. The bells ring, the lights fill the church, and we sing loudly. It is such a joy to be with Christ through these mysteries of His Life, Death and Resurrection.
Well, we are kicking off this Triduum with extraordinary events.
First, Mom and Harville were already in town, and they extended their stay through Friday afternoon. Mom and I had a wonderful time together, enjoying a heart to hear that I will always remember. I am going through spiritual transformations that she was such a loving witness to. Meanwhile, she is experiencing such miracles in her life, the presence of Christ in such a palpable way. I am so, so full of joy about this epiphany of Christ in her heart!
Well, we are kicking off this Triduum with extraordinary events.
First, Mom and Harville were already in town, and they extended their stay through Friday afternoon. Mom and I had a wonderful time together, enjoying a heart to hear that I will always remember. I am going through spiritual transformations that she was such a loving witness to. Meanwhile, she is experiencing such miracles in her life, the presence of Christ in such a palpable way. I am so, so full of joy about this epiphany of Christ in her heart!
Then, another miracle--PawPaw Ronnie called and announced his plan to visit us and celebrate Easter with us. Wed. afternoon, we learned he was coming on Thursday! We have not seen him in almost a year. He has understandably gone through such a hard year. It is indescribable to witness his return, and to sit alongside him for Holy Thursday and Good Friday liturgies. What a joy to be with him again!
How blessed we are, with such family!
Jake's Run
Jake and I went on our first ever jog! He sort of hated it as I coached him on form. But I promised him that good form improves one's time, and that soon he would be beating me by a lot.
That seemed to go a long way!
That seemed to go a long way!
Sunday, March 24, 2013
Palm Sunday
Of the two hours of Palm Sunday liturgy today, the thing that struck me the most poignantly, AGAIN, as it always does, was that Jesus did not defend himself. He did not resist his arrest, he did not explain himself to Pilate, he did not fight the soldiers. He accepted the wrongful claims, accusations, beatings, torture and death, and instead of "clearing up" the misunderstandings, he went to the cross "as a lamb to the slaughter." That was Jesus' answer to power, to justice, to human dignity. It takes supreme strength, intense inner poise, to suffer well.
As our priest preached so well today: when we arrive at heaven's door, we will not be asked, "How good were you? What did you accomplish?" But instead, we will be instructed: "Show me your scars." To suffer well, to suffer in union with Christ, which can only be done with the saving grace of conversion aiding us, is what is needed to enter eternal life.
God, give us faith! Let us be Christians, true followers of Christ!
God, give us the ability to live out the Passion and Death, so that we can share in the Resurrection!
As our priest preached so well today: when we arrive at heaven's door, we will not be asked, "How good were you? What did you accomplish?" But instead, we will be instructed: "Show me your scars." To suffer well, to suffer in union with Christ, which can only be done with the saving grace of conversion aiding us, is what is needed to enter eternal life.
God, give us faith! Let us be Christians, true followers of Christ!
God, give us the ability to live out the Passion and Death, so that we can share in the Resurrection!
Teenagers, all of a sudden!
You know you have children on the brink of becoming teenagers when:
--They sleep till eleven AM, and then are upset when you wake them
--They can sew with a sewing machine
--They cook with the stove and the oven
--They scrub bathroom floors, wearing rubber gloves and old clothes, until the floors actually sparkle
--They use cleanser and face lotion morning and night, and still struggle with clear skin
--They discuss theology, lead family prayers, and get themselves up early for morning prayer
Amazing!
--They sleep till eleven AM, and then are upset when you wake them
--They can sew with a sewing machine
--They cook with the stove and the oven
--They scrub bathroom floors, wearing rubber gloves and old clothes, until the floors actually sparkle
--They use cleanser and face lotion morning and night, and still struggle with clear skin
--They discuss theology, lead family prayers, and get themselves up early for morning prayer
Amazing!
Thank goodness, however, that they still play with dolls, still play dress up, and still make bows and arrows out of twigs.
And thank goodness that someone is still ridiculously young.
Friday, March 22, 2013
First Confession
In preparation for her first Communion in 2 weeks, Clare made her first confession this week. Oh my goodness! She was so pleased to be so grown up. It was a coming of age for her, like a rite of passage. It was such a joy be with her that evening in the church, finding her maturity, her identity as a Catholic Christian. Oh, how I love her!
Monday, March 18, 2013
Walks at Dawn
Visiting Kim and Ken, we had SUCH a wonderful time! Clare suggested a sunrise walk with Ken, whom she heard wakes up early. A little uncle-niece bonding time! So cute!
We love you, Ken! What an awesome uncle and brother in law! A running buddy for Ron, no less!
homemade pasta
Our spring break was so relaxing. The hour that I finally "let go"--several days into the break--was the hour that I took out pasta machine and started flattening homemade pasta dough. I made tortellinis out of it stuffed with portabellas and poured truffle oil over it. It was divine.
Friday, March 8, 2013
Electoral College
Jake is in a homeschool co-op. He was chosen to lead one side of a debate, regarding the pros and cons of the electoral college. He was chosen to argue for the "cons."
He was so well prepared. I was so proud of him. His team won, 3.5 to 1. These sorts of things--reasoning, arguing, support positions--are his gift! As a "phlegmatic" temperament, he is excellent at researching things, and has the patience to read and read until he's got the info. Then with a streak of showmanship and ambition, he can present with passion. I pray that he finds the right vocation, that can use these gifts for God's truth!
Sometimes I wonder if homeschooling is hurting our kids. I wonder if we are lagging behind. Recently, more of his friends have been admitted to an excellent private school in the area. Sometimes I wonder if we are holding him back! We did not even apply.
But what I see is that in his current environment, he is excelling.
Yesterday he and I discussed next year's schooling. I told him we need to emphasize spelling and grammar. An hour later, that idea apparently having churned in his head, he came up with this idea: "Mom, how about I go through one letter of the dictionary per month, and just memorize the whole thing! It will take 2 years, but let's do it!"
Tears almost came to my eyes. I would pay a thousand dollars (if I had it!) for a child to volunteer for a job like that! How did he get to be that way?
Our homeschool is not impressive, compared to well-established schools. But the school is only as good, in truth, as the kind of student it puts out. So, our humble school will press on!
He was so well prepared. I was so proud of him. His team won, 3.5 to 1. These sorts of things--reasoning, arguing, support positions--are his gift! As a "phlegmatic" temperament, he is excellent at researching things, and has the patience to read and read until he's got the info. Then with a streak of showmanship and ambition, he can present with passion. I pray that he finds the right vocation, that can use these gifts for God's truth!
Sometimes I wonder if homeschooling is hurting our kids. I wonder if we are lagging behind. Recently, more of his friends have been admitted to an excellent private school in the area. Sometimes I wonder if we are holding him back! We did not even apply.
But what I see is that in his current environment, he is excelling.
Yesterday he and I discussed next year's schooling. I told him we need to emphasize spelling and grammar. An hour later, that idea apparently having churned in his head, he came up with this idea: "Mom, how about I go through one letter of the dictionary per month, and just memorize the whole thing! It will take 2 years, but let's do it!"
Tears almost came to my eyes. I would pay a thousand dollars (if I had it!) for a child to volunteer for a job like that! How did he get to be that way?
Our homeschool is not impressive, compared to well-established schools. But the school is only as good, in truth, as the kind of student it puts out. So, our humble school will press on!
Offering up ourselves
Here we are on a Friday of Lent, and the question is: what are we sacrificing? What are we giving up?
There comes a time in every Christian's life when, after building up virtue, discipline, prayer, community, Christian vocation, it is time to give up one's self. That is, building up all these good things is important. But we can get fused with them. We can feel like these virtues and practices and disciplines are ours.
But they are not ours. They are God's. It is only by God's choice that we live and breathe at all--we are not in control of our existence. It is only by God's choice that we have found faith--God gives the initial grace of faith (initium fidei), and all subsequence graces besides, drawing us to His presence. It is only by God's grace that we have any family whom we love, any children we cherish, any friends with whom we share our hearts and lives. It is only by God's grace that we sometimes (and only sometimes) act well--for we are inclined on our own to corrupt good things, to manipulate, warp, reduce and devalue that which is God's gift.
I have been gripped, without stop for weeks, by an intense, relentless discomfort and sorrow, regarding this realization. I go from sadness to frustration to relief and back to remorse. It is like something is dying, and as that process continues, I am in constant discomfort. I cannot wait to feel relief: one day, this too shall pass. I look forward to that day! But until then, I have to bear this anguish. If I distract myself from it, the death of the false self will not come to pass, and the relief will never come--only a bastard form, an earthly version of "forgetting about it."
As my light and vision, I keep thinking of Bernadette in The Song of Bernadette: a holy, lovely Catholic girl, she had lined up a job, and a boy was courting her. There is nothing intrinsically wrong with these things. But she was called to give up these things, to become "nothing" for God--to live in austerity in a monastery.
There is nothing wrong, likewise, with my family or community life. But sometimes, we are called to detach from them as part of our self-image, and see the reality: that anything good is a reflection of God's "self-image," and that we are nothing, we are a vapor, in the eyes of God.
Given who we really are, only a total self-oblation, an offering up of our very selves, will suffice.
There comes a time in every Christian's life when, after building up virtue, discipline, prayer, community, Christian vocation, it is time to give up one's self. That is, building up all these good things is important. But we can get fused with them. We can feel like these virtues and practices and disciplines are ours.
But they are not ours. They are God's. It is only by God's choice that we live and breathe at all--we are not in control of our existence. It is only by God's choice that we have found faith--God gives the initial grace of faith (initium fidei), and all subsequence graces besides, drawing us to His presence. It is only by God's grace that we have any family whom we love, any children we cherish, any friends with whom we share our hearts and lives. It is only by God's grace that we sometimes (and only sometimes) act well--for we are inclined on our own to corrupt good things, to manipulate, warp, reduce and devalue that which is God's gift.
I have been gripped, without stop for weeks, by an intense, relentless discomfort and sorrow, regarding this realization. I go from sadness to frustration to relief and back to remorse. It is like something is dying, and as that process continues, I am in constant discomfort. I cannot wait to feel relief: one day, this too shall pass. I look forward to that day! But until then, I have to bear this anguish. If I distract myself from it, the death of the false self will not come to pass, and the relief will never come--only a bastard form, an earthly version of "forgetting about it."
As my light and vision, I keep thinking of Bernadette in The Song of Bernadette: a holy, lovely Catholic girl, she had lined up a job, and a boy was courting her. There is nothing intrinsically wrong with these things. But she was called to give up these things, to become "nothing" for God--to live in austerity in a monastery.
There is nothing wrong, likewise, with my family or community life. But sometimes, we are called to detach from them as part of our self-image, and see the reality: that anything good is a reflection of God's "self-image," and that we are nothing, we are a vapor, in the eyes of God.
Given who we really are, only a total self-oblation, an offering up of our very selves, will suffice.
Thursday, March 7, 2013
darn ego!
When events are turbulent, here is my guidepost for navigating life: ". . . and to receive from the hands of God, with peace of mind and thanksgiving, the things which are displeasing to self-love." (Alphonsus of Liguori, Attaining Salvation, p. 14).
So many of the pains of life are really pains against my ego. That darn ego! It is following me everywhere like a gnat in my ear!
For example, I spoke to someone, and he corrected me. It offended me, because he was wrong. Then I noticed that it was my ego that felt the pain, not "me" deep down. The real "me" is just interested in the truth--if someone is wrong, then I can correct him or just let it go, since I've got the truth straight in my own head. But there I was, incensed, that he was accusing me falsely!
Here Alphonsus' words apply: "Accept with peace and thanksgiving anything that is displeasing to self-love." Accepting it with thanks is what "neutralizes" the event and reduces my ego. No, it is not gone, but it shrunk and is set aside.
Help me, Jesus, to become humble! Help my false ego, my vanity, to die!
So many of the pains of life are really pains against my ego. That darn ego! It is following me everywhere like a gnat in my ear!
For example, I spoke to someone, and he corrected me. It offended me, because he was wrong. Then I noticed that it was my ego that felt the pain, not "me" deep down. The real "me" is just interested in the truth--if someone is wrong, then I can correct him or just let it go, since I've got the truth straight in my own head. But there I was, incensed, that he was accusing me falsely!
Here Alphonsus' words apply: "Accept with peace and thanksgiving anything that is displeasing to self-love." Accepting it with thanks is what "neutralizes" the event and reduces my ego. No, it is not gone, but it shrunk and is set aside.
Help me, Jesus, to become humble! Help my false ego, my vanity, to die!
Monday, March 4, 2013
Melia in "The Bible"!!!!
Our dearest, most marvelous sister/aunt Melia is an actress, and she is in "The Bible," a series airing on the History Channel over 10 weeks. The first night was last night. It is wonderful!
The producers are a Catholic man and woman, and they were interviewed on EWTN--Ron happened to see it, not knowing that Melia was in the show! The woman producer said that it is the fulfillment of her lifelong dream to share through film that Jesus is God and that God is REAL.
We cannot wait to see Melia who plays Bathsheba.
Go, MELIA!!!!
The producers are a Catholic man and woman, and they were interviewed on EWTN--Ron happened to see it, not knowing that Melia was in the show! The woman producer said that it is the fulfillment of her lifelong dream to share through film that Jesus is God and that God is REAL.
We cannot wait to see Melia who plays Bathsheba.
Go, MELIA!!!!
(Our kids watching first episode of "The Bible")
We love you, Melia!!
Heathy, Happy and Holy
Today is Ron's birthday. The kids and I went to Mass to pray for him--for blessings from God on him, his life, his dreams, his hopes. On the car ride to church, we identified these prayers:
--for him to run a marathon successfully this year with no injuries
--for his sabbatical plans to come together, and to be exactly what God wants them to be
--for the Summer Rome Program that he is directing, that it would be successful this summer, and become all that God wants it to be
--for his family relationships, that they be the fullest that they can be
--for him to be HEALTHY, HAPPY and HOLY
WE LOVE YOU, RON!!!!!!!
--for him to run a marathon successfully this year with no injuries
--for his sabbatical plans to come together, and to be exactly what God wants them to be
--for the Summer Rome Program that he is directing, that it would be successful this summer, and become all that God wants it to be
--for his family relationships, that they be the fullest that they can be
--for him to be HEALTHY, HAPPY and HOLY
WE LOVE YOU, RON!!!!!!!
What a life well lived!
Granny Ruth
Yesterday was Granny Ruth's birthday. Ron, the kids and I went to her grave site and prayed and expressed our love for her.
I said to Ron, "She sure did make an impact on me: the safety of being around her, her opulent way of being a grandmother, lavishing me with fun--I can't believe that is all gone. There is such a hole in my life, and I still miss her presence."
Ron replied, "Think of how powerful love is: she did nothing grand for you--she just loved you the best she could. It was enough to get all 7 of us out here, almost 15 years later." That was an interesting insight--how we measure success and greatness is so confounding!
I love you, Granny Ruth! Thank you, thank you, for teaching me love!
Sunday, March 3, 2013
Becoming Loving Enough
How do we become as loving as we want to be? I recognize in myself a lack of love: people whom I want to avoid, people whom I'd just as soon never relate to. Recently I went to the park for a homeschooling event, and when I saw who was there, I wanted to turn away. And I had just been doing prayers regarding the love of God! Oh, how my conscience burned! So I pushed ahead, and gave love that I did not have.
This is what I have just seen that is God's answer as to how to become as loving as we know we ought to be: ". . . because the love of God has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us," (Romans 5:2).
We are not loving enough, on our own. Some of us are more inclined than others, naturally, but none of us meets the standard, even the standard that we impose on ourselves.
To me, the only way to fulfill our natural propensity to love is to become supernaturally loving (the great irony, constantly pointed out by St. Thomas Aquinas): to be filled with the Holy Spirit, who IS Love. The Holy Spirit, as Paul says, is "given to us": we do not just happen upon having His Spirit in us. It comes through sacraments and through the people in the Body of Christ laying hands upon us and giving it, as in the Early Church.
When we are "filled with this Spirit," (Eph. 5:18), then love can be "poured out into our hearts." Pour it! Lord, pour it into my heart! I need more!
This is what I have just seen that is God's answer as to how to become as loving as we know we ought to be: ". . . because the love of God has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us," (Romans 5:2).
We are not loving enough, on our own. Some of us are more inclined than others, naturally, but none of us meets the standard, even the standard that we impose on ourselves.
To me, the only way to fulfill our natural propensity to love is to become supernaturally loving (the great irony, constantly pointed out by St. Thomas Aquinas): to be filled with the Holy Spirit, who IS Love. The Holy Spirit, as Paul says, is "given to us": we do not just happen upon having His Spirit in us. It comes through sacraments and through the people in the Body of Christ laying hands upon us and giving it, as in the Early Church.
When we are "filled with this Spirit," (Eph. 5:18), then love can be "poured out into our hearts." Pour it! Lord, pour it into my heart! I need more!
Saturday, March 2, 2013
Annie!
Just a wonder!
At two years old:
--she is excellent at her ballet class
--she can sing any song you repeat a few times, even if it is complicated
--she can pray a Divine Mercy Chaplet
--she can lead a decade of the family Rosary
--she knows all her letters, colors, shapes, etc.
--she can write several letters of the alphabet and many shapes
--she makes jokes
She is super funny and delightful. I love this girl!!!!!
--she is excellent at her ballet class
--she can sing any song you repeat a few times, even if it is complicated
--she can pray a Divine Mercy Chaplet
--she can lead a decade of the family Rosary
--she knows all her letters, colors, shapes, etc.
--she can write several letters of the alphabet and many shapes
--she makes jokes
She is super funny and delightful. I love this girl!!!!!
Empty and Full
I am meditating daily on the cross, asking God to let my ego and will be crucified with Christ.
As I am being emptied out of my ego, my vanity, my cares and concerns about me, what will replace it? Just emptiness? No, not for the Christian!
"Be filled with the Holy Spirit, as you sing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs among yourselves. . . giving thanks to God the Father at all times and for everything in the name of out Lord Jesus Christ," (Eph. 5:20).
We are to be filled with the Holy Spirit! And how? One way is to be filled with thanks--one of His marks.
We are to be filled with the Holy Spirit! And how? One way is to be filled with thanks--one of His marks.
Giving thanks ALWAYS! This is repeated all through the New Testament (Phil. 4:6, Col. 3:17, 1 Thes. 5:16).
What is supposed to be all-consuming for us? Ourselves? Our wishes? Our plans? No! Thanksgiving to God, in the name of Christ. I am hoping to trade out being "full of myself" with being "full of the Holy Spirit" and "full of thanks."
Being thankful is a way of being loving. Love is the main goal!
Friday, March 1, 2013
Spiritual Change
Oh how I am in the throughs of spiritual change. It has been painful! But very liberating! I have come to see some of my failures and sins in a new, more serious way. Here is the link:
-wanting to have contemplative prayer
-realizing that, for that, I need to be more surrendered to God
-but realizing that I am very independent, in every respect
-asking God what to do about that
-receiving out of "nowhere" (i.e. sudden grace) deep convictions about my sins and failures; simply loving that awareness (another grace); sudden ability to cling to God as though to a life vest (yet a third grace).
I could sit in silence for hours, and cry and laugh and just be so happy that I belong to God.
I sit in homeschool, reading Bible stories to the girls, and I cry right through it.
I am so taken with God! Suddenly surrendered!
-wanting to have contemplative prayer
-realizing that, for that, I need to be more surrendered to God
-but realizing that I am very independent, in every respect
-asking God what to do about that
-receiving out of "nowhere" (i.e. sudden grace) deep convictions about my sins and failures; simply loving that awareness (another grace); sudden ability to cling to God as though to a life vest (yet a third grace).
I could sit in silence for hours, and cry and laugh and just be so happy that I belong to God.
I sit in homeschool, reading Bible stories to the girls, and I cry right through it.
I am so taken with God! Suddenly surrendered!
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