Some years, we go to Mass on Christmas morning, and on others, we go to "midnight Mass" late in the evening on the 24th. This year, we went to midnight Mass.
What I realized this year is how fundamentally important and special it is for me to go to the late night Masses if at all possible, both on Christmas Eve as well as on the eve of Easter. Both the birth and the Resurrection of Christ occurred in the night--the Masses in the night re-inact these great events. These Masses make it possible to imagine the actual event: in the case of Christmas, the hay, the labor, the light of the stars, the delivery and first cries of the infant. The Mass itself is a perfect expression of Thanksgiving (since that is what "Eucharist" means--"thanksgiving") for the actual event that you can actually live through in your imagination. Somehow, Mass the next morning has the same feel that every day does--thinking back to the birth of Christ with thanksgiving. That is certainly wonderful in its own way. But the Catholic tradition of these middle-of-the-night treks to church to go re-live and give proper thanks for these divine and sublime events is unforgettable and irreplaceable to me.
Silent night sung in the middle of the night by candlelight is one of the richest experiences I have ever had.
Wednesday, December 25, 2013
Monday, December 23, 2013
On Humility
God rushes to be in the presence of the poor of heart: those who are meek, lowly, and humble.
What is so confusing is that shame, fear of speaking the truth, and self-hatred are not the same as humility and meekness. Shame, fear and self-hatred are a perverse sort of pride: they are fixated on what others think of us, and are terrified of negative opinions or judgments. Shame leads a person to assert, "I AM important; I AM something special." This attitude leads to a puffing up of one's ego. Then you have the pride that alienates the spirit of God.
My greatest challenge in the past year has been to assert myself in some areas in which I was terrified of upsetting another person. I had been acting as a doormat, a spineless creature. I had to find my words: "No, I am unavailable for that," or "No, that is not okay with me." Was lacking those words the same thing as being meek or lowly? No! It was being untruthful. I was not clinging to the truth, the real truth that I was unavailable or not okay with that. I was cowering in the face of reality.
But to remedy this problem, the answer was not to beef up my "self-esteem" or inflate my ego so that I could be more assertive.
The answer, for me, was to beg God for my voice as "prophet." In our faith, we are all priest, prophet and queen or king. We are all three, as we share in Christ's offices of priest, prophet and king. I realized that I was not yet being a good Christian, in being a prophet. I was not yet adhering to and speaking the truth.
So my task was to be a humble, lowly person who emphatically spoke the truth, even when it was not what others wanted to hear.
This has been the victory of this year for me, the navigating the tricky waters of pride and humility, in standing up for the truth and saying "No."
God's way of being self-assertive is still humble, still meek, and thus still inviting of his Rich Presence.
What is so confusing is that shame, fear of speaking the truth, and self-hatred are not the same as humility and meekness. Shame, fear and self-hatred are a perverse sort of pride: they are fixated on what others think of us, and are terrified of negative opinions or judgments. Shame leads a person to assert, "I AM important; I AM something special." This attitude leads to a puffing up of one's ego. Then you have the pride that alienates the spirit of God.
My greatest challenge in the past year has been to assert myself in some areas in which I was terrified of upsetting another person. I had been acting as a doormat, a spineless creature. I had to find my words: "No, I am unavailable for that," or "No, that is not okay with me." Was lacking those words the same thing as being meek or lowly? No! It was being untruthful. I was not clinging to the truth, the real truth that I was unavailable or not okay with that. I was cowering in the face of reality.
But to remedy this problem, the answer was not to beef up my "self-esteem" or inflate my ego so that I could be more assertive.
The answer, for me, was to beg God for my voice as "prophet." In our faith, we are all priest, prophet and queen or king. We are all three, as we share in Christ's offices of priest, prophet and king. I realized that I was not yet being a good Christian, in being a prophet. I was not yet adhering to and speaking the truth.
So my task was to be a humble, lowly person who emphatically spoke the truth, even when it was not what others wanted to hear.
This has been the victory of this year for me, the navigating the tricky waters of pride and humility, in standing up for the truth and saying "No."
God's way of being self-assertive is still humble, still meek, and thus still inviting of his Rich Presence.
Sunday, December 22, 2013
NYC at Christmas
NYC at Christmastime is so beautiful! There are musicians on every street corner playing carols; there are lights, trees and decorations in every store front. You can feel the spirit of hope among the people.
On the subway yesterday, a group of loud young people got on our car. They invited the whole car to sing happy birthday to Johnny, which we all did. But they were pushing it; they were being obnoxious. Then one of them used a racial slur. An African American woman next to me protested: "With all due respect, please watch your language." He resisted, but then apologized. The group got off the subway car at the next stop. A moment later, Ron and I were talking and laughing with this beautiful woman, and had a cheery exchange.
New Yorkers are just such resilient people. They are so full of life. They are especially spirited, it seems, as we approach the great feast day celebrating humanity, as it was elevated to a new status when the divine became human. God has made us indeed of infinite worth. We celebrate Christ, the one who loves us and gives us this dignity.
On the subway yesterday, a group of loud young people got on our car. They invited the whole car to sing happy birthday to Johnny, which we all did. But they were pushing it; they were being obnoxious. Then one of them used a racial slur. An African American woman next to me protested: "With all due respect, please watch your language." He resisted, but then apologized. The group got off the subway car at the next stop. A moment later, Ron and I were talking and laughing with this beautiful woman, and had a cheery exchange.
New Yorkers are just such resilient people. They are so full of life. They are especially spirited, it seems, as we approach the great feast day celebrating humanity, as it was elevated to a new status when the divine became human. God has made us indeed of infinite worth. We celebrate Christ, the one who loves us and gives us this dignity.
Friday, December 20, 2013
O Antiphones
We are celebrating an early Christmas with Mom and Dad--a blast of a trip! The cutest thing that happened on our first day was Mom announcing that, although she is not Catholic, she has put together her first Advent wreath, and has just learned what the "O antiphones" are. It sounded like "anti-phones," as in being "against" (as in "anti-") iPhones or something. Super cute. She was talking about the antiphons, or prayers, that are said in the week approaching Christmas.
Truly, it is impressive that she would have ever heard of the Advent antiphons! They are beautiful exclamations of joyful expectation of the birth of Christ. She added to the delight by giving them a bit of a new name! "The O Antiphones." I love it!
Truly, it is impressive that she would have ever heard of the Advent antiphons! They are beautiful exclamations of joyful expectation of the birth of Christ. She added to the delight by giving them a bit of a new name! "The O Antiphones." I love it!
Wednesday, December 18, 2013
End of the Semester--Could not come Quickly Enough!
Oh, how happy I am that we made it through the fall semester! Today we are THROUGH!
Jake is testing for two schools in January, and so I have worked him like a DOG (which has worked me like a dog) beefing up his spelling, dictations, vocabulary, and grammar. It was been a wonderful chance, really, to firm up the weak spots. I am overjoyed about it. But boy, are we excited about a break!!
We have also been working so hard on our music. It is rather magical how much progress we have made! It is a real high point of our semester.
I love our homeschool. It is such a peaceful, joyful place. If our children are loving and kind, that is because of our homeschool. Homeschool shapes a different kind of child. I just love it. And truly, it is the best work I could do with my life. I love it.
I do not know how far we will go; some of our teenagers will probably follow Jake's footsteps and find another school. But what does work, works well, and I am so grateful!
Thank you, Lord, for our life. It is a treasure to me!
Jake is testing for two schools in January, and so I have worked him like a DOG (which has worked me like a dog) beefing up his spelling, dictations, vocabulary, and grammar. It was been a wonderful chance, really, to firm up the weak spots. I am overjoyed about it. But boy, are we excited about a break!!
We have also been working so hard on our music. It is rather magical how much progress we have made! It is a real high point of our semester.
I love our homeschool. It is such a peaceful, joyful place. If our children are loving and kind, that is because of our homeschool. Homeschool shapes a different kind of child. I just love it. And truly, it is the best work I could do with my life. I love it.
I do not know how far we will go; some of our teenagers will probably follow Jake's footsteps and find another school. But what does work, works well, and I am so grateful!
Thank you, Lord, for our life. It is a treasure to me!
Tuesday, December 10, 2013
Our Ice Storm
Dallas has had an ice storm that lasted about four days. What a blast! Thankfully, we never lost power, and so we had a great time.
I took out the quilting project that I have had in the attic for over a year. We finished Mary's quilt top, and we have begun Clare's. We might finish it today after school.
Then we do Annie's, and then we actually quilt--put all three layers together. I am excited!
It was a blessing to be together. Ron really rested; we read books and played games; we made lasagna and casseroles and kept 2 fires going the whole time. I am so grateful that our kids do not really watch tv; they paint, sing, read, and when possible, make snowballs. It was a truly, truly blessed weekend!
I took out the quilting project that I have had in the attic for over a year. We finished Mary's quilt top, and we have begun Clare's. We might finish it today after school.
Then we do Annie's, and then we actually quilt--put all three layers together. I am excited!
It was a blessing to be together. Ron really rested; we read books and played games; we made lasagna and casseroles and kept 2 fires going the whole time. I am so grateful that our kids do not really watch tv; they paint, sing, read, and when possible, make snowballs. It was a truly, truly blessed weekend!
Friday, December 6, 2013
Our Friends!
We had a wonderful time with the Underwoods when they visited Texas. We talked and talked and talked. They are our new friends, indeed! We love you, Underwoods!
Thursday, December 5, 2013
Our Fire!
While we were away for Thanksgiving, we had a fire in our house! It was a chimney fire. 6 fire trucks were in front of our house on Thanksgiving afternoon! The neighbor was kind enough to track us down and contact us in Louisiana, and said that there was smoke billowing out of our windows when the fire dept. opened them.
Thankfully, they arrived in time, and our house was spared any real damage. What a thing to be "thankful" for on Thanksgiving weekend!
The only problem is the smell: the whole house smells like a garment reeking of campfire odor that you want to throw in the wash. So we have been cleaning every flat surface of the house with Odoban, and steam cleaning all the carpets. No small job!
Thank you, Lord, that our house is still standing!! Praise be to God.
Thankfully, they arrived in time, and our house was spared any real damage. What a thing to be "thankful" for on Thanksgiving weekend!
The only problem is the smell: the whole house smells like a garment reeking of campfire odor that you want to throw in the wash. So we have been cleaning every flat surface of the house with Odoban, and steam cleaning all the carpets. No small job!
Thank you, Lord, that our house is still standing!! Praise be to God.
Monday, December 2, 2013
A Cajun Thanksgiving!
Ron, the kids and I had such a wonderful Thanksgiving! We were visiting our friends who feel like family in our home away from home, Louisiana. We had Thanksgiving with the Hayses, and the following days with the Baglows--what a TREAT!!!! I just LOVED getting to talk for hours with my dear friends!!!
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