Could it have come any slower?

Could the end of this school week have come any slower?
I am so grateful for a holiday next week!!   We all need a break.
I almost broke out into tears this morning when Clare answered her math problem regarding telling time that a quarter of an hour is ten minutes.
I think I yelled at her, although I can hardly remember.  I am just so tired and it is all such a blur.
And then Clare led her decade of the family Rosary tonight, going on and on and on until Ron finally interrupted her and said, "Clare, are you counting?  It seems like you are way past 10."  She confessed, "No, I'm not counting."
I don't think it is appropriate to get as upset as I did about Hail Mary's.  After all, a few too many Hail Mary's--is it possible to say too many prayers?
But goodness, I sure was mad!
Oh, how grateful I am for a break!  Even a Saturday!  I need to go hide out for a while and get some time alone!

Sweet Little Ones!!

writing a book

I am having such a joy-filled time writing my book!  I'm on my third version of it.  Each version is more mature, having culled successes and strength from previous ones: finding a literary voice, finding my message, and now identifying the audience, their needs, and so writing specifically to them. . . God help me!  The current title is Intimacy with Jesus Through Motherhood: A Catholic Mother Shares the Spirituality and Significance of Her Vocation.
    My hope is to give Catholic mothers encouragement in their ministry as mothers, both through giving them a fresh vision of the importance of the profession, as well as spiritual tools and insights that help us find Jesus in the ordinary day at home.

music fills the air

     My husband is playing his classical guitar right now as our kids swirl around him in our living room. Mary playing with the baby, Leigh is chasing Annie in circles, Clare is studying her song for the upcoming talent show, and Jake just proudly showed me his English paper for which he received an A-.
      I love our home.

Detachment

Oh, what a blessing it is to be a Christian!  And a Catholic one, at that!
     I walked into church this afternoon with such burdens, worries and inner turmoil.  I went to confession.  God bless the confessor.  He listened and understood.  He responded so clearly and poignantly.
    Then, after absolution and a blessing, I left and sat in a pew.  I prayed the Our Father, and dwelt upon each word.  After about half an hour, I had made it through half of the Our Father.  And it suddenly struck me: God makes a beautiful, gorgeous, exhaled picture out of humanity.  Each person is at God's disposal.  We might be lifted up; we might be broken down; we might be admired; we might be persecuted.  But as long as we yield to God's will and do not resist His plan, we will play the part God chooses for us.  And our part, even if it does not exalt us personally, exalt's God.  And that is the point.  When they pray, "Praise God," or "Blessed be God in the highest," what that means is, "I say 'Yes' to God being lifted up on high, no matter what my role is.  I am happy to be the smallest part, or the part that gets crushed or squashed or beaten down (like most of the figures in the Bible, like most saints, and certainly like Jesus Himself), if that means that the overall picture glorifies God."
    And so I learned all over again what "detachment" means: letting go of what appears to be, and embracing God, our Father, alone.

I feel like a fool

    I feel like such a fool.
    I have been writing a book.  I have been planning a ministry.  I have been working hard to shape it and make my professional plans.
     But yesterday, my friend was hurting.  She was really hurting in her heart.
     She stopped by for a few minutes and I sat with her, I spoke with her.  I found what I had done wrong.  I saw other things that she had done wrong, but could not yet hear.  She sat, defensive and mad and pained.
     I sat.
     I sat with her.
     I was WITH HER.
     I spoke words of understanding and love, but they were simple words.  Nothing flashy or genius.  I just let her know that I was, in my heart, right there WITH HER.
     That was all I did.  And yet it was the biggest, best ministry I can offer.
     Sitting with someone in their pain, and being a word of mercy, of tenderness, of compassion, IS TO BE CHRIST to them.  There is no ministry as powerful as BEING JESUS to someone.  That is the pinnacle of Christian ministry; it's the whole point.
     Speaking in a microphone or publishing a book is far, far down the totem pole, much more remote as a form of ministry.  People I do not know might hear words that impact them, and that can be good.  But teaching, as good as it is, not BEING CHRIST as such.  It is sharing Christ's truth, maybe. But that is not the same thing as seeing Jesus in the face of the person to whom you are ministering, and being Jesus yourself.
   
     I have this sort of ministry, of BEING WITH someone, in my homeschool: I am WITH my child as she learns, and I see where she is, and help her each day take one small step forward.  It is the step SHE needs.  Because it is designed just for her, it is being WITH her.
     I have this sort of ministry with my husband: he is certainly  AS CHRIST to me, and I try to be to him.  Being the person of Christ to my husband is my life's vocation, my life's ministry.
     Then I have friends and extended family members who, too, need Christ to be WITH THEM from time to time.  I love this ministry.
    So there you have it, my life's work.  My massive-impact, world-changing, incredibly popular, NewYork Times bestselling contribution: Love as BEING WITH someone in their moment of being small, finite, imperfect or hurt--one fabulous person at a time.
   

7 years left

     My good husband reminded me today that our second child, Mary, will be graduating and going to college in 7 years.  SEVEN YEARS??  That is so soon!  That is all I have left with her????
     I simply cannot comprehend how quickly it goes by.  I want to make the most of this time with her!!  I am so glad that we homeschool.  At least I get a good portion of those seven years!

Content

     Being content in all things: this is the key!
     "I have learned the secret of being content in all things, both when I am hungry, and in times of abundance," (Phil. 4).
     Sometimes I feel like I have nothing: my body is bloated, my eyes are puffy and red, my muscles ache from getting no sleep.  I cannot homeschool as I want to, I cannot clean my house as I want to, I cannot keep up with my prayers, with the news, with my correspondence as I want to.  When I have met friends and family of late, no one says, "Wow, you look great!"  Instead, they all gaze at me with a sheepish smile that bespeaks pity.  "Poor thing, she'll recover eventually," is what their look says.
       But I am content.  In my hunger, in my time of need, I am full.  I am overflowing with abundance.
      One of the overflowing blessings is that this is one of the choice times of life in which I have a tiny, cuddly, adorable baby.  I make a point each day, many times a day, to stop and look at him, swoon over him, and let myself be infatuated with him.  His face is exquisite.  His chubby legs and pointy toes are like those of a Reubens painting.  His dimpled hands and slender fingers are like those of a porcelain doll.  His chubby cheeks, perfectly round head and alert gaze are the signature features with which God endowed him.  He is a living, breathing miracle.  He is an act of God that wants to nestle into my embrace and be loved.
    Holding a miracle in my arms, I am richly blessed.

Flunking Our Way to the Top

     We fail all day, every day.  We fail to get the garbage out on time, we fail to teach long division, we fail to keep the house quiet so the baby can sleep.
      But in all of our failures, we have God, who is our peace.  Hence we succeed, even in the midst of our failures.
      Those who seek to save their lives will lose them, but those who seek to lose their lives will save them.

St. Therese Playing Angels We Have Heard On High

I know lots of saints

     Who are saints?  They are people who have been hurt, who have sinned, who have be wronged and challenged at every turn. . . like the rest of us.  

      Saints are the ones who let God write the story of His goodness, His mercy, His beauty, His triumph, through their lives.  

     What does it take to be a saint?  I think it takes faith in Jesus, it takes forgiveness and mercy, and it takes clinging to Providence, rather than fighting for our own will every step of the way.  

    On All Saints Day yesterday, I was in a conversation about saints.  

    Two of my children and I were in line for confession.  Clare asked me, "Who is Saint Monica?"  I said, "She was the mother of St. Augustine.  Monica was really upset because she was a Catholic mother, but her son was behaving badly, really badly.  He was a big sinner.  He had no faith, and was arrogant, and did lots of bad things.  He had a mistress and a child out of wedlock.  He was not at all in touch with God's love.  Well, Monica went to church every single day and begged for God's mercy, that her son would become a good Catholic.  She cried and begged every day.  Well guess what!  Augustine became a Christian.  And then, he became a priest.  And then he became a saint, one of the greatest theologians of all time!  Think of how powerful Monica was!  Think of how powerful her prayers must have been!"  

    Clare asked, "Did she do anything else?  It that the only reason she is a saint?" 

    I replied, "Yes, that's it.  The Catholic Church loves moms!  It sees and honors the moms who love intensely and pray fervently.  That's all you have to do to be a saint in the Catholic Church!"  

    I love that about this Church.  I know LOTS of saints!!  Seeing the other moms at P.E., seeing the moms within my family, they are everywhere!  They are all around me!  I love being surrounded by people whose whole life is based on love!  

Does any parent actually like Halloween?

There must be some parents who love Halloween--but I am surely not one of them!
     But will all that, it was still a successful one for the kids:
     Audrey Hepburn (my favorite of our kids' costumes ever)
     Rapunzel
     Queen Ester
     Aphrodite
     Friar Tuck
And Robin slept through the big night out!