Favorite Moments

1) Clare offering to sleep with Leigh in the guest room, since Leigh had thrown up.  Clare offered to stay with her through the night, in case she needed help.
2) Annie singing, "When the dog bites, when the bee stings, when I'm feeling sad," and the rest of the son, in perfect rhythm and pitch.
3) Ron being so darn awesome.
4) Having the best time EVER with the Underwoods.  What an AMAZING family!!
5) Playing "Simple Gifts" on the piano.

Our Puppy

    Wow, it has been something else getting a puppy!!  Franny is a real handful.  We sent her to a dog trainer for ten days, and she came back with some new skills, which was great.  But she also came back with more energy and a more robust, "teenage" attitude!  And she is still not fully housebroken.
    I was about to send her away for good!
    Then, it just turned around.  She is suddenly sitting in my lap for long periods.  We are keeping her on a leash inside, and with it on, she is very obedient.  Clare does training with her every day, and Franny sits and lies down, at Clare's command!
    I suddenly love our puppy!
    Thank you, St. Francis!

Ju-Jitzu

    Suddenly, Mary wanted to take Tae Quon Do classes.  Several years ago, she had achieved her third degree green belt.  But we stopped--she could not see why she was doing it.  In recent months, she has been timid, not being able to recite lines well, not being confident with strangers.  So when she asked for the martial arts classes, I found that noteworthy.  I asked her why, and she recalled her many years of Tae Quon Do, and said she thought that resuming classes would make her feel less afraid.  We talked a long time--she confided in me how fearful she generally is.
    So we looked into classes at a new dojo.  But they also offered Ju-Jitzu.  It is especially suited as self-defense.  She took one trial class and was hooked.  As an onlooker, so was I.
    Now she and I go, three times a week.  I watch her roll around on the floor, learning how to flip huge boys and men.  She is very aggressive.  She is getting her sense of power back.
    I have never been so surprised by a turn of events in motherhood: I did NOT see this coming.
    I have also never been so thrilled about something.  She figured out what she needed, asked for it, and is acquiring a skill that is incredibly strengthening and promotes safety like nothing I would have imagined.

Latin

   Jake and I have taken on Latin in a serious way.  It is SO MUCH FUN.  I was excellent at Latin a long time ago, but had forgotten it all.  It is SO FUN to relearn it!
    Jake is very quick at it.  We are having a ball.

   He and I are also doing a spelling intensive.  He has no natural ability.  But he is finally just memorizing rules when there are rules, and exceptions when there are no rules.  And he is memorizing well.  So it is time for him to catch up to 6th grade spelling!

Outward Bound!

    We had a beautiful time camping in Oklahoma this past weekend. . .  

We rented a tiny, one room cabin with a fireplace and one set of bunk beds inside.  Most of us slept on the floor in sleeping bags.  At least we had walls, which is a step up from a tent!  But in every other way, it was like tent camping.  There were public facilities down the road (I was grateful for that, too!).

Jake did lots of canoeing . .

Ron and Jake were just in heaven. . .

The girls were so happy, too!

     Sadly, Annie got an ear infection in the night, and so that took a bite out of the fun.  But that is quintessential family--so I just enjoyed the ride for what it was!  Good and bad, these are the best
days. . . .

Competing for Acidophilus

   We had a math drill today--Leigh and Clare were seeing who would be the first to shout out the right answer to "rounding to the nearest thousand" questions.  We had just eaten lunch, and they were all at the kitchen counter.  I was passing out vitamins.  I think the chewable acidophilus ones taste good.  So I said, "Let's compete for your acidophilus!"  They laughed, thinking that was ridiculous.
    But then Clare, of course, decided that she "hates" the acidophilus.  So she did not want to earn them.  She laughed all the way through the drill.  Whenever Leigh would get the right answer, I'd give Leigh an acidophilus, and she'd squeal, "Hooray!"  But when Clare would get the right answer, she's shout, "Hooray!" for getting it right, but then shout, "Booo!" when I'd give her the acidophilus.  Jake and Mary and Leigh and I laughed and laughed.  It was all so absurd.
    Then I told Annie, "Eat your spinach, so as to earn your shake!"  It is a vegetable juice shake.  Poor things.

Powerful Prayers

     Annie has some sort of stomach bug--and it is time for stool samples for the doctor!  This is my very, very, very least favorite part of motherhood!  Stool samples from a child who has intestinal sickness is about the very worst.  I've done it before.  As Ray Charles says, "Here we go again. . . "
    But then, Clare started throwing up.  Three times!  It was awful.  I feel like I am swimming in germs in this house!
    So I picked my very, very most urgent prayer request, and offered each moment of it up for that intention.  Please, Jesus, let these small crosses be part of your big cross!
     And that makes me feel so much better, like it's all worth it, and it's all meant to be.

Its All About Love

     Trying to diminish levels of stress can be so hard.  I have become more aware of the stress I carry.
     In sitting before God in prayer, I have been seeking to unload it.  That has been hard and unsuccessful.
     The I realized, by the grace of God, that it is in brokenness and weakness that God manifests Himself to us.  So I just accepted all my stress, and stopped trying to get rid of it, and said, "God, here I am!  Your stressful daughter!"  And I felt His overwhelming love, and His powerful embrace.
    I think being in a relationship with God is not becoming "good enough," but letting God love us, right where we are.  It is also having the "gumption" to love God, and really lavish Jesus with our affection, even though we are so pitiful and flawed.  Sometimes its hard to imagine that He wants my love, but in fact, He does.  It takes courage to lavish God with my love!

Break Through!

     The kids had a melt down while I was putting Annie down for bed.  Ron was working late.  I went downstairs and found Leigh crying uncontrollably, and three other kids not knowing what to do.
     It was all about the fact that Jake had found Leigh lying on the couch, and he sat down on her feet.  He would not get off her feet.  Then he inched over about two inches, and she started kicking him, because two inches was not far enough.
     I said, "We have a tool to prevent this problem!  Did anyone ask our magic question, 'May we please discuss this?"
     The kids shared with me why it did not work.  So we spent half an hour, re-devising the question and how it operates in our home.
     The kids sometimes feel that something is unfair.  When things are unfair, and never rectified, I believe that children emotionally disconnect from their parents and siblings.  Even at age 10, for example, they can begin detaching.  You may not really see it, but unfairness is one of several reasons, I believe, that so many kids disengage with their parents over the long term.  The home needs to be a safe, fair place.  But it is so darn hard to be fair!!  As parents, we sometimes just break up the problem, re-direct, get them to stop crying, cheer them up, and change the subject.  We are tired of the fight, and feel like we have succeeded if we get it to stop.  But if there is unfairness that is not actually rectified, kids feel that as a breach, and keep it with them.  
    So we spent the time, working out our system.

Problem: Someone Being Annoying
1. Annoyed Person says, "May we please discuss this?"
     -If she fails to say this "magic question," and shouts, stomps, etc., she loses a chip.
2. Annoyer MUST STOP THE BEHAVIOR for a moment to discuss (that is what is "magical" about the question.  It has the power to stop the annoying person).
      -If she fails to stop, she owes the annoyed person a chip.
3. Then they must discuss the solution.  Solution: The annoying person will stop the behavior for good in 10, 20, or 30 seconds.
     -If the annoying person does not, she loses a chip.

     In the beginning, anyone who asks the magic question, "May we please discuss this?" instead of shouting or acting frustrated gets a chip.

    The goal is to foster RESPECT FOR OTHERS, which is a virtue that is especially important for pre-teen and teen years.  I am confident that there will be a constant onslaught of irritations among these siblings for the next decade.
    Leigh has been singing "Frere Jacques" non-stop this week, and it is driving everyone MAD.  Jake is bouncing balls in the house.  Mary is twirling on point.  Clare is shouting at all of them to STOP. :)
     Having to stop the behavior, within 30 seconds, and just dealing with the fact that you need to stop (or go somewhere else) to be kind to those around you is an important virtue to have.
    May God help us survive the many challenges the upcoming teen years!

Totus Tuus: "All Yours"

    Today our family began setting up a fund through which to give donations to non-profits.  We decided to call it the "Totus Tuus Fund"--Totus Tuus was John Paul II's motto, meaning "All Yours."  He meant that he was giving himself over entirely to Mary, whom he trusted would bring her perfectly and unwaiveringly to her Son.
     I explained to the family at the dinner table what Ron and I were doing, and what the name of the fund would be.
     Jake piped in, "The what?  The Totus Tootus Fund??"  It sounded like "tooting" or passing gas to him!  Yikes.   

A Whole New Jake

     Jake and I went out for time one on one today.  We had lunch and then went to the museum.  It was a much needed time of just he and I together, talking, reflecting on his life, and enjoying each other's company.  I would not trade that afternoon for anything.
     He is a whole new guy.  He is aware, observant, articulate, engaging.  We walked through the Peruvian section of the DMA, and he was telling me all about the artifacts--I really had no idea what he was talking about.  He talked, actually, for four hours straight, and I only got a portion of what he was saying.  There is just so much going on in his head.  I cannot believe how much he retains when he reads.  He is a sponge.
     He is also interested in school next year.  We have found a school called the Cambridge School in Dallas.  We have not fully investigated it yet, and time will tell.  But he loves the sound of it, and we love the sound of it for him.  He loves the idea of a school that fosters independent thinking, the building of character, and has a debate team, tennis, track and cross-country.  It also has a religion teacher who teaches apologetics.  Ron taught her apologetics, as she earned her MA in theology at UD.  So the thought of learning apologetics from this teacher at the Cambridge school thrilled Jake.

   We'll see.  But he is dreaming about being a teenager, having a driver's license, going out to eat and a movie with friends.  He thinks Dallas will be a GREAT place to be a teenager.  I am so, so excited.  He has such a bright future ahead!