A mother is at the center of God's love note to us.
We are like anguished lovers. All human beings search for meaning and purpose--it is inherent to our dignity that we would know why we live and what makes us happy. For all of human history, human persons and communities have sought answers to these questions, searching, like pining suitors, for the hidden power present in the midst of things, or even postulating a supreme dignity.
When the time came, he sent his love note to us. God responded to us. He answered our inquiries of love. He said, "This is who I really am, and yes, I will be yours." It is remarkable that in all this human searching and questioning, God would answer. He gave us a definitive revelation of who he is and how he wants us to belong to him.
His answer began with a tiny baby, born of a mother. A mother was at the center of his answer to all of human longing. The most important event of all of human history, the most powerful answer to our most central questions, the verification of our dignity and worth, that determines our eternal horizon and invites us to share in the divine nature, occurred through a woman.
God could have revealed himself in any way. Even coming as a man (which is in itself incredible and counterintuitive), he could have come as a full-grown man. Coming as a baby, first conceived and then growing in utero of a woman with child, and then born, held and nurtured in a mother's arms--none of this needed to be. Clearly it is part of the message, part of the response. God is saying, "Motherhood is important. I speak to my people through motherhood. And you can come to know me through motherhood." Through Mary and Jesus, God elevated motherhood and re-invented it as a sacred, spiritual reality.
Sunday, April 30, 2017
The True Christian
St. Catherine of Siena, whose feast we celebrated yesterday, describes the true Christian this way:
"But when people have the light, they become true servants of their Creator. Though they are living in the night of this darksome life they walk with the light, and though they are on the stormy sea they receive and experience interior peace. They are always running on toward perfection. . . "
May we remember to walk with the light!
"But when people have the light, they become true servants of their Creator. Though they are living in the night of this darksome life they walk with the light, and though they are on the stormy sea they receive and experience interior peace. They are always running on toward perfection. . . "
May we remember to walk with the light!
Friday, April 28, 2017
Happiness is. . .
. . . having all my children under the same roof, laughing together, sharing stories, and loving each other's company.
Of all the things I was put on this earth to do, the main one is to be the mother of this family. It fills my heart with joy to see each one so happy, and happy together.
Of all the things I was put on this earth to do, the main one is to be the mother of this family. It fills my heart with joy to see each one so happy, and happy together.
Monday, April 17, 2017
Happy Easter!
The joy of Easter cannot be experienced without having experienced the sorrow and tragedy of Good Friday. The celebration of the Resurrection gives me renewed hope and faith. I am so grateful to be a Christian--I feel sorry for those who have not yet experienced the power of the triumph over death.
How glorious it was to celebrate Easter with our friends!
How glorious it was to celebrate Easter with our friends!
Thursday, April 13, 2017
Holy Thursday: A Sacred Celebration for Mothers
Pope Francis invites us to consider
more carefully the role of women in the Church.
We might ponder: What is God’s design of femininity? How does motherhood, in particular, show
forth the nature of God? How might it
bear the image of Christ? This Holy
Thursday, we will be celebrating the Institution of the Eucharist. One way to respond to Pope Francis’
invitation is to consider the ways in which women, especially mothers, share in
the Eucharistic mystery of Christ.
When a woman conceives a child, the
conceptum is a new creation of God. This
new life is sustained by the environment of the mother’s womb and through the
nourishment that her body provides. From
the first moment of conception, the mother is providing for the physical body
of the new person. She provides the egg,
which, when fertilized, becomes the body of the new child. She provides all the nourishment necessary
for the new life to grow. When the
newborn baby is placed in the mother’s arms for the first time, every cell of
the baby’s body finds its souce in the mother’s body. If she nurses her baby, she continues to be
the sole source of nourishment for this human being.
The Church emphasizes that, while some
women physically bear children, all women share in motherhood: All women are
called to give themselves as a gift to others through spiritual or physical
motherhood.[1] The Church celebrates motherhood in its
singular way of helping women be what humans are most essentially: a gift of
self.
Spiritual
mothers—whether consecrated religious, or single women, whether aunts, sisters,
grandmothers, stepmothers, godmothers, foster mothers, or adoptive mothers—also
nourish their children. Some women place
plates of food before a child at the dinner table. Some women hand out food at a soup kitchen,
making sure the bellies of the hungry are full.
Other women feed children’s minds, teaching them how to count, how to
read, how to write paragraphs and short stories. Still other women feed their children’s
faiths, telling them stories of the Bible, and praying for them to “catch the
faith.” An essential part of motherhood
is feeding others, in some form or fashion.
It is how we begin our mothering.
This
charism of feeding others is a reflection of Christ in the Eucharist. Christ declared, “I am the bread of
life.” He said that those who eat his
flesh and drink his blood abide in him, and he in them.[2] Then, at the Last Supper, he said, “Take,
eat; this is my body.” Next he gave them
the cup, and told them to drink, that it was his blood.[3]
How striking is the resemblace of a
mother, nourishing her baby in utero with
her body and her blood, to this Eucharistic gift of Christ? Who else on earth can boast feeding others
with their bodies and blood?
Those who are special in the kingdom of
God have unique ways that they reflect Christ.
Certain saints receive the stigmata,
bearing wounds in their bodies that reflect those of the crucified Christ. Priests stand in persona Christi as they celebrate the Mass and the Sacrament of
Reconciliation. Bishops reflect Christ
the Good Shepherd, as they shepherd their flock, guiding them in the truth and
preserving them from error. Well,
mothers, too, have their distinctive ways of bearing the image of Christ. One of those ways is in sharing in the
eucharistic charism of Christ. Whether a
mother nourishes her child with her body and blood, or with food, or
spiritually nourishes her child’s mind, character and spirit, mothers feed
their children. That’s one thing all
mothers do. Generally, they do lots of
it.
As
we enter into the celebration of the Institution of the Eucharist, let us adore
him in this great mystery. Then, when women
return to their homes and workplaces, let them take heart as they recognize a
eucharistic theme throughout their vocation.
As
women carry out their motherly duties, whether it be the expectant mother, the
nursing mother, the mother of toddlers, the mother feeding her grown children
back for Easter break, or whether it be the childcare worker who serve homeless
children, the nurse in a hosptial, or the teacher, nourishing her children’s
minds, let them rejoice in the honor it is to partake in such a special way in
Christ feeding his people. May they say,
with Mary:
My
soul magnifies the Lord,
And
my spirit rejoices with God my savior,
For
he has looked with favor on the lowliness of his servant.
Surely,
from now on, all generations will call me blessed.
For
the Mighty One has done great things for me,
And
holy is his name.[4]
Wednesday, April 12, 2017
Stitches!
I had so hoped for a prayerful Holy Week. I had imagined myself in daily Mass, praying over the rich readings, re-aligning myself with God and His purpose for my life.
Today, as she was taking out the trash, Clare gashed her leg on some broken glass jetting out of the trash bag. Ron made a quick judgment call that this cut would require stitches. Without any pomp, he whisked her into the car and off to the emergency care center. Meanwhile, I managed my concern for her, plus the needs of five other kids and a dog. Darting around the kitchen, I thought just how far I am from my picture-perfect Holy Week.
Standing by the car as they were about to take off, I helped Clare decide for whom to offer up this experience. Then, as the rest of us picked up the dog's mess in the back yard, we all decided for whom to offer that up. Then, Ron texted us pictures of Clare's 9 stitches. Annie offered her evening up for Clare and her stitches. What an evening.
Ron and Clare came home, Clare limping and donning a large bandage. Seeing that Clare was fine, we were flooded with relief. Our family evening was so memorable that I filmed it. Everyone was brimming over with happiness, and the kids played monkey in the middle, catch, chase, and cracked jokes. We were happy to be on Easter break, and happy to have our family back together. Everyone was especially happy that Clare was okay.
I realized that stitches is my Holy Week. No, I do not get to be alone in silence in a beautiful chapel before the Blessed Sacrament. I will have plenty of empty nester years to do that. Right now, instead of meditating on the wounds of Christ, I am meditating on the wounds of Clare. Instead of thinking about the jeering crowds at Calvary, I get to think about the rowdy crowd in my living room. Instead of thinking about the Last Supper, I get to think about the two pounds of pasta I am cooking. Here I am, absorbed in my family. That is my tabernacle. That is where God is. That is God's purpose for my life right now. That is holy--a holy day in a holy week.
Today, as she was taking out the trash, Clare gashed her leg on some broken glass jetting out of the trash bag. Ron made a quick judgment call that this cut would require stitches. Without any pomp, he whisked her into the car and off to the emergency care center. Meanwhile, I managed my concern for her, plus the needs of five other kids and a dog. Darting around the kitchen, I thought just how far I am from my picture-perfect Holy Week.
Standing by the car as they were about to take off, I helped Clare decide for whom to offer up this experience. Then, as the rest of us picked up the dog's mess in the back yard, we all decided for whom to offer that up. Then, Ron texted us pictures of Clare's 9 stitches. Annie offered her evening up for Clare and her stitches. What an evening.
Ron and Clare came home, Clare limping and donning a large bandage. Seeing that Clare was fine, we were flooded with relief. Our family evening was so memorable that I filmed it. Everyone was brimming over with happiness, and the kids played monkey in the middle, catch, chase, and cracked jokes. We were happy to be on Easter break, and happy to have our family back together. Everyone was especially happy that Clare was okay.
I realized that stitches is my Holy Week. No, I do not get to be alone in silence in a beautiful chapel before the Blessed Sacrament. I will have plenty of empty nester years to do that. Right now, instead of meditating on the wounds of Christ, I am meditating on the wounds of Clare. Instead of thinking about the jeering crowds at Calvary, I get to think about the rowdy crowd in my living room. Instead of thinking about the Last Supper, I get to think about the two pounds of pasta I am cooking. Here I am, absorbed in my family. That is my tabernacle. That is where God is. That is God's purpose for my life right now. That is holy--a holy day in a holy week.
Holy Week for Mothers
“There were many women there, looking on from a distance, who had followed Jesus from Galilee, ministering to him” (Mt. 27:55).
Women have always had an important place in the Gospel. Here, the Gospel of Matthew tells us that women were gathered at the site of the crucifixion, naming Mary Magdalene, Mary the mother of James and Joseph, and the mother of the sons of Zebedee. From Veronica with her veil, to Mary at the foot of the cross, to this cluster of devoted followers, women punctuate the Passion narratives.
As we experience Holy Week, we might ponder what is God’s vision of women. What is his design? What is the grandeur of his idea of women?
One of the most magnificent aspects of femininity is motherhood. As John Paul II claims in Mulieris Dignitatem, whether a woman participates in motherhood physically or spiritually, the vocation of all women is maternal. Motherhood in all its forms taps into the very essence of what it is to be human: to be “a gift of self” to others. Motherhood is “a special openness to the new person…. In this openness, in conceiving and giving birth to a child, the woman discovers herself through a sincere gift of self.” The essence of the human person is to be a gift of self, and motherhood is by its nature such a gift, physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. What is a more complete gift of self than to share one’s flesh, blood, genetic structure, nourishment, time, energy, thought, care, love, character, virtue, faith and knowledge with someone else? Whether in utero or through a child’s upbringing, mothers have a singular role in sustaining the life and health, in a variety of senses, of another person. Human beings are such that we require the gift of self on the part of someone else in order to become fully who we are. This is a great mystery. Human personhood means relationality: existing in a relationship. Motherhood—whether physical or spiritual—is the epitome of this most sublime mystery. Motherhood is rightly understood as the full expression of human personhood.
During Holy Week, we celebrate God’s generous gift of himself. The liturgy highlights Christ giving himself on the cross for us: “He humbled himself, becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.” While Catholic spiritualities of motherhood tend to focus on the Mariological dimensions of this vocation, we might also consider the Christoligical dimensions. Motherhood can be seen as a reflection of the generosity of God. Mothers—physical mothers, adoptive mothers, foster mothers, stepmothers, godmothers, aunts, sisters, and grandmothers—pour themselves out in various ways for the child. They give their time, talent, energy and best gifts, providing for and nurturing the children for whom they care.
Six weeks ago, a good friend of mine volunteered to be a foster mother for two weeks to an orphaned infant from China. The child was coming to the U.S. to have surgery to correct a severe malformation of his mouth, and the non-profit organization arranging this surgery asked for a host family to keep the child during the process. My friend offered this gift of herself. Two weeks later, my friend had grown so attached to the infant, and he so attached to her, that she and her husband, with the unanimous support of their five other children, asked to adopt the child permanently. The precious baby is now in his new mother’s arms, and as you read this, he is likely nestled in her front carrier, relaxing in her gentle sway.
What more profound sign could there be of God’s generosity? By its design, motherhood is an emptying of oneself for someone else. This is epitomized by the cross, the heart of our faith. Motherhood, then, is a reflection of the heart of God.
As we celebrate the Pascal mystery this week, and come face to face with the mystery of Christ’s outpouring of love for us, may tired and weary mothers around the world draw refreshment from his beautiful outpouring of himself. May mothers adore Christ the Suffering Servant, and consequently find their stores of love replenished, so that, with renewed generosity, they may tend to those in their care.
Women have always had an important place in the Gospel. Here, the Gospel of Matthew tells us that women were gathered at the site of the crucifixion, naming Mary Magdalene, Mary the mother of James and Joseph, and the mother of the sons of Zebedee. From Veronica with her veil, to Mary at the foot of the cross, to this cluster of devoted followers, women punctuate the Passion narratives.
As we experience Holy Week, we might ponder what is God’s vision of women. What is his design? What is the grandeur of his idea of women?
One of the most magnificent aspects of femininity is motherhood. As John Paul II claims in Mulieris Dignitatem, whether a woman participates in motherhood physically or spiritually, the vocation of all women is maternal. Motherhood in all its forms taps into the very essence of what it is to be human: to be “a gift of self” to others. Motherhood is “a special openness to the new person…. In this openness, in conceiving and giving birth to a child, the woman discovers herself through a sincere gift of self.” The essence of the human person is to be a gift of self, and motherhood is by its nature such a gift, physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. What is a more complete gift of self than to share one’s flesh, blood, genetic structure, nourishment, time, energy, thought, care, love, character, virtue, faith and knowledge with someone else? Whether in utero or through a child’s upbringing, mothers have a singular role in sustaining the life and health, in a variety of senses, of another person. Human beings are such that we require the gift of self on the part of someone else in order to become fully who we are. This is a great mystery. Human personhood means relationality: existing in a relationship. Motherhood—whether physical or spiritual—is the epitome of this most sublime mystery. Motherhood is rightly understood as the full expression of human personhood.
During Holy Week, we celebrate God’s generous gift of himself. The liturgy highlights Christ giving himself on the cross for us: “He humbled himself, becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.” While Catholic spiritualities of motherhood tend to focus on the Mariological dimensions of this vocation, we might also consider the Christoligical dimensions. Motherhood can be seen as a reflection of the generosity of God. Mothers—physical mothers, adoptive mothers, foster mothers, stepmothers, godmothers, aunts, sisters, and grandmothers—pour themselves out in various ways for the child. They give their time, talent, energy and best gifts, providing for and nurturing the children for whom they care.
Six weeks ago, a good friend of mine volunteered to be a foster mother for two weeks to an orphaned infant from China. The child was coming to the U.S. to have surgery to correct a severe malformation of his mouth, and the non-profit organization arranging this surgery asked for a host family to keep the child during the process. My friend offered this gift of herself. Two weeks later, my friend had grown so attached to the infant, and he so attached to her, that she and her husband, with the unanimous support of their five other children, asked to adopt the child permanently. The precious baby is now in his new mother’s arms, and as you read this, he is likely nestled in her front carrier, relaxing in her gentle sway.
What more profound sign could there be of God’s generosity? By its design, motherhood is an emptying of oneself for someone else. This is epitomized by the cross, the heart of our faith. Motherhood, then, is a reflection of the heart of God.
As we celebrate the Pascal mystery this week, and come face to face with the mystery of Christ’s outpouring of love for us, may tired and weary mothers around the world draw refreshment from his beautiful outpouring of himself. May mothers adore Christ the Suffering Servant, and consequently find their stores of love replenished, so that, with renewed generosity, they may tend to those in their care.
Thursday, April 6, 2017
Contemporary Catholic Motherhood
In America Magazine's recent interview with Jennifer Fulwiler, author of Something Other Than God, Fulwiler shares her vision of Catholic motherhood. To her, motherhood has a spiritual meaning: it is one way to fulfill our call to love and serve others. As an adult convert to Catholicism, it was a big change for her to see that all people are called to forming bonds of love with others. In light of this calling, being a mother of small children shifted from from being something through which to grit our teeth and endure, to something that helps us realize our very essence.
I agree. Motherhood helps us fulfill our purpose. We are meant to be beings in relation with others, as Jacques Maritian, John Paul II and others have emphasized. Motherhood is the quintessential vocation for forming such bonds. Hence motherhood is a vehicle for human happiness.
I'd like to bring out another dimension of Catholic motherhood, however. What is distinctive about the Catholic notion of motherhood? What does the Church teach us that makes the Catholic notion of motherhood different from, say, atheist or other religious views? I'd like to suggest that the Catholic view of motherhood is different from both the radical feminist idea of motherhood on the one hand, and the 1950's stay-at-home motherhood, on the other.
The Church's view of motherhood differs from the radical feminist perspective, namely that women should not get "stuck" in motherhood, but prioritize actualizing their potential in the public sector. As Fulwiler brings to light, the Church's view is that motherhood is not something to get beyond, but rather, something that we can delve into in order to find our truest selves.
But the Church's view of motherhood is not my Baptist grandmother's view, either: that wives and mothers are domestic servants, subordinate to their husbands, and their place is in the kitchen. Just because the Catholic Church heralds motherhood as one of the great paths to happiness and holiness, the Church does not thereby relegate women, and even mothers, to the home. The Church invites, indeed encourages, the laity to step into the marketplace, the school systems, the healthcare institutions, the government, and achieve our full potential. We are called to be "leaven," and bring the light of Christ into every corner of the world (Lumen Gentium). In fact, the Church admonishes the laity, including women and mothers, to give the gifts that God has given them for the good of the Church and the world.
Applying these teachings to motherhood, is the Church teaching that the best mothers are the stay-at-home mothers? I do not think so. The Church is saying: "Prioritize motherhood. See its potential to cultivate holiness and happiness in you. And, find creative ways to give all you've got to the world. Serve. Teach. Build. Cure. Operate. Legislate. Write. Sing. Paint. Photograph. Lobby. Petition. And do it all for the glory of God and salvation of all people." Mothers are encouraged to thrive in their motherhood, and in other ways, too. This encouragement is not saying, "Do not get stuck in motherhood; motherhood is inferior to other roles." It is not the Gloria Steinem message. Rather, it is saying, "Become a gift to others. Give yourself as a gift to your children, to the Church, and to the world." This is a broad invitation, and every mother must find her own path forward. Broad though it may be, it is distinctive. It is decidedly modern. And decidedly true to the spirit of the Gospel.
I agree. Motherhood helps us fulfill our purpose. We are meant to be beings in relation with others, as Jacques Maritian, John Paul II and others have emphasized. Motherhood is the quintessential vocation for forming such bonds. Hence motherhood is a vehicle for human happiness.
I'd like to bring out another dimension of Catholic motherhood, however. What is distinctive about the Catholic notion of motherhood? What does the Church teach us that makes the Catholic notion of motherhood different from, say, atheist or other religious views? I'd like to suggest that the Catholic view of motherhood is different from both the radical feminist idea of motherhood on the one hand, and the 1950's stay-at-home motherhood, on the other.
The Church's view of motherhood differs from the radical feminist perspective, namely that women should not get "stuck" in motherhood, but prioritize actualizing their potential in the public sector. As Fulwiler brings to light, the Church's view is that motherhood is not something to get beyond, but rather, something that we can delve into in order to find our truest selves.
But the Church's view of motherhood is not my Baptist grandmother's view, either: that wives and mothers are domestic servants, subordinate to their husbands, and their place is in the kitchen. Just because the Catholic Church heralds motherhood as one of the great paths to happiness and holiness, the Church does not thereby relegate women, and even mothers, to the home. The Church invites, indeed encourages, the laity to step into the marketplace, the school systems, the healthcare institutions, the government, and achieve our full potential. We are called to be "leaven," and bring the light of Christ into every corner of the world (Lumen Gentium). In fact, the Church admonishes the laity, including women and mothers, to give the gifts that God has given them for the good of the Church and the world.
Applying these teachings to motherhood, is the Church teaching that the best mothers are the stay-at-home mothers? I do not think so. The Church is saying: "Prioritize motherhood. See its potential to cultivate holiness and happiness in you. And, find creative ways to give all you've got to the world. Serve. Teach. Build. Cure. Operate. Legislate. Write. Sing. Paint. Photograph. Lobby. Petition. And do it all for the glory of God and salvation of all people." Mothers are encouraged to thrive in their motherhood, and in other ways, too. This encouragement is not saying, "Do not get stuck in motherhood; motherhood is inferior to other roles." It is not the Gloria Steinem message. Rather, it is saying, "Become a gift to others. Give yourself as a gift to your children, to the Church, and to the world." This is a broad invitation, and every mother must find her own path forward. Broad though it may be, it is distinctive. It is decidedly modern. And decidedly true to the spirit of the Gospel.
Wednesday, April 5, 2017
Motherhood: "I love to love"
A great woman I recently met told me her story about a life crisis she had in which she had to choose between her career and her family. Her husband took a job in another town, and so her family moved away from her job. But she decided to commute, and keep her job in her previous home town.
To her surprise, she discovered that this was a bad decision. She missed being with her family more. She realized, "As much as I love my job, I also love to love." She found that loving her family was even more fulfilling for her. So, if she had to choose, which she did, she changed her mind, and quit that job.
Out of the blue came another, even better job in her new hometown, one she could not have anticipated. She said that God is a miracle worker, letting her have her family and a great job.
I love this story. I find it exciting when women discover how rewarding it is to give themselves to family, in whatever capacity. So many women are culturally pressured to think that prestigious jobs are more important than family. I love it when women try out various ways of living, and discover, as though for the first time in history, that family is so rewarding. "Loving to love"--that says it all.
To her surprise, she discovered that this was a bad decision. She missed being with her family more. She realized, "As much as I love my job, I also love to love." She found that loving her family was even more fulfilling for her. So, if she had to choose, which she did, she changed her mind, and quit that job.
Out of the blue came another, even better job in her new hometown, one she could not have anticipated. She said that God is a miracle worker, letting her have her family and a great job.
I love this story. I find it exciting when women discover how rewarding it is to give themselves to family, in whatever capacity. So many women are culturally pressured to think that prestigious jobs are more important than family. I love it when women try out various ways of living, and discover, as though for the first time in history, that family is so rewarding. "Loving to love"--that says it all.
Tuesday, April 4, 2017
Joyful Motherhood
I guide a class called "Joyful Motherhood" for new moms at a pregnancy center. Here are some of the wonderful moms, my friends!
We focus on brain development: how moms have a huge impact on the brain development of our infants and young children. We influence whether our children get stuck in a "fight or flight" mode, or whether they can rise to a problem-solving ability. Anyone in a "fight or flight" state cannot learn: they cannot do math, they cannot learn to read, they cannot think twice and control their tempers. So, if we as moms do not help them get out of that state, and into a higher state of problem-solving, we impair our children's whole future. We moms discuss how to respond calmly and constructively to the situations in which we find ourselves, since modeling is the most powerful form of teaching our children.
We focus on brain development: how moms have a huge impact on the brain development of our infants and young children. We influence whether our children get stuck in a "fight or flight" mode, or whether they can rise to a problem-solving ability. Anyone in a "fight or flight" state cannot learn: they cannot do math, they cannot learn to read, they cannot think twice and control their tempers. So, if we as moms do not help them get out of that state, and into a higher state of problem-solving, we impair our children's whole future. We moms discuss how to respond calmly and constructively to the situations in which we find ourselves, since modeling is the most powerful form of teaching our children.
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