It is already getting dark here--I sat alone in the rain and just let it pour. I felt the poverty of spirit all around me. We have no lights, no decorations, a sorry excuse for a tree. We have few presents, late Christmas cards, and lots of sorrow.
But as I sat in the rain, I felt relief.
What is tonight about? What are we celebrating?
We are celebrating a God who comes in the darkness.
We are celebrating a God who comes into poverty of body and spirit.
We are celebrating a God who comes in the midst of sin--the sin of emperors, governors, business folk, friends, and family.
We are celebrating a God who comes--humble, defenseless, poor, meek, and innocent.
He comes to us, only then to be poorly understood, falsely accused, and put to death. His life seemed like a failure. His relationships mostly failed. His mission, by all appearances, failed. Then he was put to death by his enemies--they seemed to have the final word.
Tonight is about saying "Yes" to this God, this God who became Man, who became vulnerable and weak and poor.
It is about saying "Yes" to this God who knows how to be alone, to be abandoned, to be treated unjustly.
It is about finding one's life, one's hope, one's friendship, one's consolation, one's joy in this God-Man.
It is about this God-Man being enough. He is enough for a person's happiness. He is enough to repair one's heart, to heal one's heart, to fill one's heart.
A good life is not outward success. It is not money. It is not having a glowing ego that the world adores. It is not about the expression of our talents. It is not about having the perfect family and friends.
A good life is a life given over and made afresh by this God-Man, Jesus.
A good life is a having a heart born anew like the babe we celebrate tonight.
I look forward to "Christ's Mass" (Christmas) tonight--offered in the lonely darkness.
May He come, may I see Him afresh, may I see who He is in richer, more profound, less distorted way. May He be born in my heart again tonight, and may His Spirit SHINE with JOY. Joy, yes, to the WORLD.
Saturday, December 24, 2011
Wednesday, December 21, 2011
Who is Jesus?
If someone were unaware of who Jesus is, how would you explain him? Worse yet, if someone falsely believed that Jesus is an insipid, unimpressive figure, the opium of the people, the crutch of the weak, or still worse, the god of a religion that is foreign and simply cannot belong to them--what would you say?
My response would be: come to him first, find his love. Let him lavish you with his affection. Let him supply all your needs, pour his peace into your heart, fill you with divine joy, no matter your outward circumstances. His love is an infinite love, his peace is a perfect peace, his joy is constant, regardless of outward pains. Call his name, let him dwell with you. Later, you can learn more about who he is.
But how do you let him dwell with you? I have known some who say that they cry out for him, and cannot find him. I believe that the way to find him is to surrender to him. It takes at least one, real, genuine act of humility--the act of saying, "I no longer want to be in charge of my life, I want you to be in charge of my life." People cry out to him, but still wanting to maintain control. Essentially, they are asking for "a butler" or "a service care provider." They want their needs met, but do not want to yield control to him, they do not want to have to change their ways or give up their lifestyle.
Finding Jesus is about surrendering our tiny, fleeting, passing lives to the infinite, eternal, almighty God who humbled himself by coming to be with us. When he came to be with us, he did not come in might, prominence or wealth. He showed his true character when he chose to come as a poor, simple man, born in poverty and as a foreigner. He disclosed his true heart when he washed the feet of his followers. He revealed his true strength when, letting himself be betrayed, he gave thanks. When falsely accused, he remained silent. When brought to an unjust death, he surrendered himself out of love. These actions are the height of human achievement, and take godlike strength. What leader acts like a servant? Who can submit to an unfair accusation? Or worse yet, give up one's life out of love for others? Given who Jesus was--the king of the universe, without any fault or wrongdoing, the author of life--these actions were all the more outrageous, all the more absurd. In doing these things, Jesus revealed the infinite power of the love of God.
This is a man who was, indeed, "obsessed with love." His death means that we are free, we are reedy to be healed, we are ready to be heirs of the majesty of God.
"Sing joyfully, O Israel! Be glad and exult with all your heart, O daughter of Jerusalem! The Lord has removed the judgment against you, he has turned away your enemies; the King of Israel, the Lord, is in your midst, you have no further misfortune to fear. The Lord, your God, is in your midst, a mighty savior; He will rejoice over you with gladness, and renew you in his love, he will sing joyfully because of you," (Zeph. 3:14-18).
Jesus is the one who is ready to renew you. He is ready to fill you with joy--one of the marks of true Christians. To find him, one need only say: "Jesus, come to me. I need you. I have done wrong, I have hurt others and myself. I need you to be in charge of my life--I surrender my life to you. Live in me, dwell in me, and I desire to dwell in you." Then Jesus comes, the perfect spouse: he comes to reside in you, and you reside in him. It is a perfect communion, an intermingling of the spirit that is infinitely satisfying, powerful, and stable. As life brings circumstances that are challenging, painful or frightening, we can say with Paul: "I am content in all circumstances."
My response would be: come to him first, find his love. Let him lavish you with his affection. Let him supply all your needs, pour his peace into your heart, fill you with divine joy, no matter your outward circumstances. His love is an infinite love, his peace is a perfect peace, his joy is constant, regardless of outward pains. Call his name, let him dwell with you. Later, you can learn more about who he is.
But how do you let him dwell with you? I have known some who say that they cry out for him, and cannot find him. I believe that the way to find him is to surrender to him. It takes at least one, real, genuine act of humility--the act of saying, "I no longer want to be in charge of my life, I want you to be in charge of my life." People cry out to him, but still wanting to maintain control. Essentially, they are asking for "a butler" or "a service care provider." They want their needs met, but do not want to yield control to him, they do not want to have to change their ways or give up their lifestyle.
Finding Jesus is about surrendering our tiny, fleeting, passing lives to the infinite, eternal, almighty God who humbled himself by coming to be with us. When he came to be with us, he did not come in might, prominence or wealth. He showed his true character when he chose to come as a poor, simple man, born in poverty and as a foreigner. He disclosed his true heart when he washed the feet of his followers. He revealed his true strength when, letting himself be betrayed, he gave thanks. When falsely accused, he remained silent. When brought to an unjust death, he surrendered himself out of love. These actions are the height of human achievement, and take godlike strength. What leader acts like a servant? Who can submit to an unfair accusation? Or worse yet, give up one's life out of love for others? Given who Jesus was--the king of the universe, without any fault or wrongdoing, the author of life--these actions were all the more outrageous, all the more absurd. In doing these things, Jesus revealed the infinite power of the love of God.
This is a man who was, indeed, "obsessed with love." His death means that we are free, we are reedy to be healed, we are ready to be heirs of the majesty of God.
"Sing joyfully, O Israel! Be glad and exult with all your heart, O daughter of Jerusalem! The Lord has removed the judgment against you, he has turned away your enemies; the King of Israel, the Lord, is in your midst, you have no further misfortune to fear. The Lord, your God, is in your midst, a mighty savior; He will rejoice over you with gladness, and renew you in his love, he will sing joyfully because of you," (Zeph. 3:14-18).
Jesus is the one who is ready to renew you. He is ready to fill you with joy--one of the marks of true Christians. To find him, one need only say: "Jesus, come to me. I need you. I have done wrong, I have hurt others and myself. I need you to be in charge of my life--I surrender my life to you. Live in me, dwell in me, and I desire to dwell in you." Then Jesus comes, the perfect spouse: he comes to reside in you, and you reside in him. It is a perfect communion, an intermingling of the spirit that is infinitely satisfying, powerful, and stable. As life brings circumstances that are challenging, painful or frightening, we can say with Paul: "I am content in all circumstances."
Saturday, December 17, 2011
obsession
Some people are obsessed with money. All their decisions seem to revolve around it. Loved ones need to take a back seat and receive what is left after the person has given the lion's share of their efforts to financial gains.
Some people are obsessed with the actualization of their talents. Loved ones, again, must get comfortable in their back seat position.
Some people are obsessed with the contribution to society that they are trying to make--yes, there is a gift to others, but there is also an ego component to this lifestyle. The gift they are able to give reflects back who they are, and many such people define themselves by this outward expression. How sad, that someone would be held hostage to what this outward expression looks like. If it is not as big as they have dreamt, somehow, their self-worth is diminished. Being obsessed with one's contribution to society is a risky business.
As for me, I hope that when I die, people will say that I was obsessed with love. Or maybe with generosity, or humility, or compassion. I am not sure whether I am yet, or how to get that way, but that is my hope. That is my life's goal.
Some people are obsessed with the actualization of their talents. Loved ones, again, must get comfortable in their back seat position.
Some people are obsessed with the contribution to society that they are trying to make--yes, there is a gift to others, but there is also an ego component to this lifestyle. The gift they are able to give reflects back who they are, and many such people define themselves by this outward expression. How sad, that someone would be held hostage to what this outward expression looks like. If it is not as big as they have dreamt, somehow, their self-worth is diminished. Being obsessed with one's contribution to society is a risky business.
As for me, I hope that when I die, people will say that I was obsessed with love. Or maybe with generosity, or humility, or compassion. I am not sure whether I am yet, or how to get that way, but that is my hope. That is my life's goal.
Sunday, December 4, 2011
Living Life on the Edge
As much as it seems like I living a traditional, safe, conservative life, I really feel like I am living life on the edge.
Being married to Ron--I staked my whole future on one reading of a newspaper, realizing that I wanted to enjoy the events listed therein with him (we had been on 2 dates) rather than a boyfriend of many years!
Giving up so many opportunities of personal fulfillment or ambition or creativity, instead giving my best to the emotional, spiritual, educational and psychological development of my kids--and betting that this choice IS the path of greater fulfillment and ambition!
Living in a humble house in a humble town--and betting that it is the best way to have a great home!
Of all the courses I could teach, books I could write, the public person I could be and accomplishments that I might be able to achieve--I believe that giving all my creativity to mercy and love of real people is the greatest "creative achievement" I could pursue. But who knows! It takes faith, as there is no proof that this is the best way!
Everything about my life feels like a radical experiment. I know I look boring, uneventful, and the least daring that a life could be. But nothing could be farther from the truth. I am living life on the edge.
Being married to Ron--I staked my whole future on one reading of a newspaper, realizing that I wanted to enjoy the events listed therein with him (we had been on 2 dates) rather than a boyfriend of many years!
Giving up so many opportunities of personal fulfillment or ambition or creativity, instead giving my best to the emotional, spiritual, educational and psychological development of my kids--and betting that this choice IS the path of greater fulfillment and ambition!
Living in a humble house in a humble town--and betting that it is the best way to have a great home!
Of all the courses I could teach, books I could write, the public person I could be and accomplishments that I might be able to achieve--I believe that giving all my creativity to mercy and love of real people is the greatest "creative achievement" I could pursue. But who knows! It takes faith, as there is no proof that this is the best way!
Everything about my life feels like a radical experiment. I know I look boring, uneventful, and the least daring that a life could be. But nothing could be farther from the truth. I am living life on the edge.
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