Every liturgical year, beginning in Advent, I choose one spiritual goal on which to work throughout the year. I reflect: where am I rock bottom miserable in my behavior? What am I really flubbing up? I figure out what kind of virtue would correct that, and then I pray and work, pray and work, to improve in that area.
As I wrote recently, this year's spiritual goal is joyful trust. I recently looked back and noticed that last year's was peacefulness, and the year's before was speaking the truth in love.
It is rather amazing to me to see how much I failed all the way through the past two years regarding those goals, but how now, when I reflect, I can see marked improvement in both areas that have managed to finally settle in.
Baby Sebastian has brought a huge amount of peace into my life. I expected the reverse, and fretted a good bit during the pregnancy with him how we would manage. But once he arrived, all of that evaporated, and I am content just to get through the day--peacefully. Planning our homeschool this year, I decided, "Our benchmarked won't be academic. Rather, the year will be about personal relationships. Let's just enjoy each other more than we ever have before." Now, we do a TON of school each day. Each of the three girls have a minimum of ten subjects each day. But we are imperfect. And I am just so happy to focus on personal relationships instead of academic perfection! I plan to homeschool these three girls all the way through high school, so we have time to catch up if we were to fall behind this year. What is important for now is--peace.
I am so surprised to realize that last year's goal, which seemed so impossible all through that year, my heart being a barren wasteland for peace, has finally taken root and a little blossom has finally bloomed!
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