Time Out!

    Sweet little Annie got her first, "No whining!" lesson today!

She did not really know what a time out was.

     So the kids and I all stood together, put a chair in a corner, and I explained: "We are only going to use kind voices.  No fussy voices.  No whiny voices.  So if you want something, you may say, "May I please have . . . '"

    I explained that if she whined, she would go in time out.  Since she is 2 years old, she would stay for 2 minutes.  I would stand with my back to the chair.

    Then I explained to the other kids: "We cannot whine or use any voice other than a kind voice.  We have to model kind voices for her. . . Even me!"  They loved that, and understood the importance.

    So the whole day, we were vigilant about Annie and her kind voice.  She got 3 time outs.  The other times, we corrected her, and she changed her voice immediately.

    She seemed to like her little chair, the fact that I did not walk away, and the chance to get it right, and then to be applauded and to get a reward.

     She was remarkable.  When Ron came home after work, we had to use it one time, and Annie's polite little request for what she wanted shocked him.

     Hooray!  All in a day's work!

Love

     "Love is patient, love is kind.  Love is not envious or boastful.  It is not arrogant or rude.  Love does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful.  Love does not rejoice in the wrong, but rejoices in the right.  Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.  Love never fails."  (1 Cor. 13)

    I do not think it is possible to live out this passage without a powerful and real relationship with Jesus Christ.  Anyone would want to be able to have and live out love like this description of it.  But who can do it, in the face of being wronged, in the face of humiliation, in the face of abuse, in the face of abandonment and betrayal?
     It is not a matter of becoming peaceful and detaching from anger or pain; it is a matter of truly forgiving, and loving our enemies: that is the highest way of achieving love.  But without the power of Jesus in one's life, anointing one's spirit, giving us His power that forgives all wrongs and conquers all death, where would we get this ability?  The Power in the Universe that can achieve such a miraculous state is not a Force, but a Person: a humble, loving, gentle person; God, who is a Person, who made us to love us and share with us His power, His nature, and His love.

Feeling "worthless"

     I have never resonated with Christian writers who discuss being "worthless" as this has seemed so easy to confuse with a self-hatred or self-debasement.
     But recently, I have simply loved this idea of my being "worthless," and it has been a great help to me in prayer.
     It is a great cure for the aspects of my self that are still self-reliant, and not totally dependent on God.    In this regard, my ability to do anything good on my own, I am in fact worthless, and it is not erroneous or harmful to myself to constantly remind myself of this fact.  Of course it is definitely not to be confused with one's value as a person, as we are created with not just worth, but infinite worth.
    It is something to wrap one's head around: that we are worth the world in one respect, and worthless in another!  And yet we are: we are like jewels in the hand of God, precious in His sight, but yet are like vanishing mist, able to obtain nothing permanent, no lasting good without the supernatural power of God.
   

One Year Ago Today

. . . my father died of a heart attack.
     It is so hard to lose a parent.  So hard.
     I miss his smile, his laugh, his levity, and his being a grandfather to my kids.
     But today, as always, I am grateful.  I am grateful for my father's love for me.  I am grateful for my time with him.  I am grateful for the dignity of his death--he so feared living through a severe stroke.  For that, and so many other blessings around the circumstances of his death, I give thanks to God.   I am grateful for the gifts he gave me: instruction, admonition, encouragement, and warnings.   He was full of them, and wanted me to avoid the pitfalls he had fallen into or seen others fall into.  He wanted me to flourish.  He wanted my best.  He did not always know what that was, but he desperately wanted me to be happy.
     And so I am.
     Thank you, Daddy.  I love you.

God Bless America

     On this election night, it is such a point of gratitude for me to think of our country--our right to vote, our freedoms a priority, our dignity honored.   Compared to prior eras in which tyrants ruled, peasants were at the mercy of malicious whims, and slavery was the norm, we have come a long, long way.  It is humbling to be a part of such a great country.  God bless America!

I love this girl!

Oh, how I love this girl!  She loves to cook with me.  She loves to help with chores.

She has become so sprightly.  She has become sparkly.  This was not apparent in her for her first 5 years.  Yet now it shines!

     She had a big transformation this summer.  At her request, desiring to feel God's presence in her heart, I prayed for her and with her, that she would take to heart the message of Galatians 4, that the Holy Spirit helps a person's heart identify God as "Abba, Father."  When she could identify with that, I told her, that is the mark of having God in your heart and Jesus in your life.  That is the demonstration of the grace of one's baptism and conversion.

     We prayed for that feeling, and as soon as we did, she cried in my arms and said, "Yes, I feel that."  We repeated it for several days at her request.  She just loved it.

     But what has been astounding to me is that, not only has that feeling persisted for her (clearly God's doing, and not her own, given how quickly her feelings come and go), but there is a total transformation that is beyond the scope of that prayer experience.  She has become light hearted, whereas she used to be heavy hearted.  She has become radiant, where she used to be gloomy.  It is totally beyond her will, her daily decisions, her thinking.  God is truly present, I believe, in her heart, and it shows.  I should be the Mom who knows more than she, but I am the student here.  I am learning up close what it is like to have the Spirit of God in one's heart.  It is seeing God's beautiful, humble power right in front of my eyes.

I Could Eat a Million Donuts

     "I could eat a million donuts right now," said Leigh, while doing her math.

This girl is so darn sweet!

Leigh LOVES food.
She is an EXCELLENT reader and probably the smartest child in our family.
She is an outstanding artist, having a talent that none of the others has.
She is NEVER moody or upset--she is the most emotionally stable person in the group.
Most interestingly, she has a deep, inner sense of God's presence.  She says she feels God close to her always.
When she grows up, she wants to be "either an artist or a nun," she said yesterday.
God love her, protect her, and bless her!!  A PRECIOUS child of God!

Medieval Camp's Octoberfest!

     Tomorrow is the last of our four weekends of Medieval Camp--Jacob's creation, full of root beer brewing, and short lectures on Medieval culture, and sword fighting--that has been a smash hit (no pun intended).
     While the camp has been for boys, we are ending it with an Octoberfest for the campers and their families.  We are expecting 80 people!  We are currently making 2 briskets (that's a LOT of meat!), sausages on a stick, home made Boston baked beans (my favorite), corn, green beans, potatoes and rolls.  It is BYOB.
     I cannot wait!  This is the highlight of my fall!

The Genius of Forgiveness

     I know a man who has a grudge.
     As I have watched this man make choices, constantly accommodating his grudge--avoiding seeing the person he has a grudge against, etc.--it makes me feel sad for him.
     Those who know how to forgive had a real advantage in life.
     They are not enchained by other people's errors, sins and misdemeanors.
     Rather, they get to be in charge of where they go, whom they see, what they do.  They let the real judge, the Divine Judge, punish the wrong doer.  They can let go of the burden of other people's sins, and are free to roam where ever they choose.

     There is a genius of forgiveness.
     It takes insight to see that forgiving does not condone; it does not accept wrong doing.  It is just saying, "I will let someone else, namely God, have vengeance on that person." (Romans 12:21)
     Forgiveness is also insightful because it is consistent with the fact that each of us sometimes is the one in the wrong, and we would like others to forgive us.  It is intelligent to act in a way that does not set a double standard, but extends to others what we wish to have extended to us.
     Even when the offender is not sorry, we should forgive, just as Christ on the cross said: "Father, forgive them, for they knew not what they do."  Christ forgave those who were crucifying him--clearly, they were not repentant.
    This is part of the genius of forgiveness.  It is not contingent on other people getting their choices right.  It is how to keep your power, your integrity, and your autonomy in a world of broken people.

Teaching Clare to Read

     I have realized that, since Jake and Mary can obviously read, and Leigh is reading, I only have one more child to teach to read for a long time!  (Annie is pretty far down the pike).
     It will be such a relief having everyone reading!
     I am working with Clare twice a day on reading exercises.  She knows I have gotten serious.  I have really put the pressure on.  And she is responding well.  She is improving every day.  She just has to get those mechanics down.  She has SO MANY phonograms memorized.  But it is the technique of following along from the first to the second letter and so on, not jumping around, not adding sounds that are not there, not guessing--just sticking to the letters or phonograms in the right order, and then synthesizing that and coming up with meaning--that we are after.  It is an orderliness of the mind's functions that I can foster but not give her--she has to generate it; she has to will it.  She is SO CLOSE.  Her siblings are praying for her, rooting for her, encouraging her.  I just KNOW this is going to happen any day now!

Henry V

     I love our youth group!  It's called SHYN: Sacred Heart Youth Night.  Its talent show is this weekend.  Jacob is ready!

     I also love homeschooling: 

1) Can you hear the pencil sharpener running through the whole clip?  We got a new one today, and the girls are sharpening every single colored pencil and lead pencil in the house. 

2) We do our schooling barefoot!

Who will be the greatest?

     What make a person great?  What makes a person successful, special?  What signifies that they have grown into their real and full potential?

     "Whoever wishes to be great among you will be your servant; whoever wishes to be first among you will be the slave of all.  For the Son of Man did not come to be served but to serve and to give his life as a ransom for many."  (Mk. 10:45)

     Marriage and motherhood is one real path to greatness.  Serving in the Spirit of God, putting yourself last, and giving your life for others--this is the way of Christ within family.

     What is one's potential to LOVE?  Growing into that is to grow into one's fullest potential.