Finally--School Morning Success!

   I finally had a successful morning with my son's pre-school drop off, after a string of heart-breakers!
   I am the mom who, some mornings, sits on the child-sized bench and gently talks my son into going to school.  Other mornings, I drop him off and walk out with him screaming in the teacher's arms.  I am a bit of a spectacle at the pre-school.   If any of the parents of my son's preschool see this post, they will laugh.  I am sure they will get a kick out my report that something finally worked for me!
   The whole year has been hard, typical of new school-aged children who resist school.
   But this week has been especially hard.  I had let my three-year-old stay home one day, and he realized he had had some say in the decision.  HUGE MISTAKE!  His take-away: "If I can convince Mom I do not feel like going to school, she'll let me stay home!"  Argh!
   Every day since has been a huge battle.  His storehouse of artillery includes but is not limited to: whining, complaining, throwing himself on the floor, going limp, refusing to take a step toward the car, making it impossible for me to buckle his seat belt, and screaming as we are driving.
   I have scolded, informed, explained, spanked, cajoled, encouraged, enticed, and offered rewards.  To no avail.
   Finally this morning, I delivered the wham-buzle that worked: the simultaneous "threat or reward, you choose" scenario.  I said, "Sebastian, you are either going to get a spanking or ice cream.  If you whine and refuse to walk straight into school, I will give you a spanking.  But if you use a nice voice and walk straight into school, I will get you ice cream when you get home.  You choose.  You are only going to get one or the other."
   He immediately replied, "I choose ice cream."
   "Okay, then no more whining, and you have to walk straight into school," I reinforced.
   Well, he was silent in the car the rest of the way.  Toward arriving, he said, "Do you want to sing 'The Wheels On the Bus'?"  I took this as an attitude change and we broke out into song and, for him, hand motions.
    We arrived at the school.  I got out of the car, opened his door, and unbuckled him.  I said, "Remember. . . " and I said it all over again.  He quickly rejoined, "Mom, I've already chosen ice cream, remember?"
   He jumped down out of thew car (revealing that his serious condition of limp legs and inability to walk shown only moments prior were only TEMPORARY), waved and shouted, "Goodbye Mom!" as he walked into the school at a fast clip without even looking back at me.

   Miracle?  Maybe!  It seems like the reward and threatened punishment at the same time is the double-pronged incentive that he needs.  It's like swatting a stubborn donkey on the behind while dangling a carrot in front of him at the same time.  The two pressures together are what are needed to redirect the "force of nature" who is my precious son.  

Tips for Getting Through School Mornings

     As our school mornings are sometimes incredibly intense and frustrating, I have started to problem solve.  Here are my five tips for how to survive the chaos!

1) Wake up 3 minutes early, and glance at the Bible verse you put on your nightstand the night before.  The first thought of the day being the Word of God makes, perhaps, all the difference.  This is not a time commitment, as 3 minutes fall within the margin of error.  Then, do Morning Prayer after you drop the kids off at school or, if you are a homeschooling mom, at your first break.

2) Have a time (eg. 7:15 am) all kids need to be in the kitchen.  Reward each one who makes it with a fitting reward (for young kids, a sticker or a sugar free candy to put in their lunch box; for older kids, internet or phone privileges, etc.).  Do the same for getting in the car (or being at the homeschool table, if you are homeschooling).  Instead of yelling, nagging, or fussing, stay quiet.  Never speak in louder than a whisper.  But if they are not there, they do not get the reward.

3)  Pay a dollar to anyone who puts away all the breakfast and lunch-making foods and still makes it to the car (or homeschool table) on time.  A dollar is a small price to pay for a clean kitchen!

4) Vitamins and hair brushing: I have put a gallon-sized bag of duplicates of all our vitamins in the car.  So, if they have not taken their vitamins at home, they can take them in the car.  A hairbrush in the car helps with emergency hair needs as well.

5) A Bible verse in the car (or at the beginning of the homeschool day): As your children are taking their vitamins and brushing their hair, say together a Bible verse that you have picked for the family to memorize.  Then remind them: They are missionaries to all the people they encounter.  They are called to be the self-appointed "Class Chaplain" (or the "Family Chaplain" if they homeschool).  Being a beacon of light to their classmates (or family), and having a prayerful response to all class (or family) trouble, drama, and conflicts is their role.  Say a quick prayer with them, such as a litany with their favorite saints, and root them on!

 

I paid her a dollar

  I paid my daughter, Mary, a dollar today, because I yelled.  I really didn't see the problem coming.  I had been in a great mood.  But the day got long and I was worn out.  But dinner time, as I was telling all the older kids to get dinner on the table, I was trying to get the baby's antibiotic down his throat.  But he kept spitting it out, multiple ounces at a time!  I was so frustrated.  Bright, pink, amoxicillin, dripping all down his shirt and in between his multiple chins.
    Right in the middle of his gagging and acting like I was torturing him, Mary, age 12, stands in the kitchen with a salad in her hands and says, "What do you want me to do with this bowl?"  I shouted, "Get it onto the table, DUH!  What do you think I want you to do with it??"  As soon as the words came flying out of my mouth, I regretted it.  She whisked off with the salad, and I bolted upstairs to change the baby's clothes.
   When I came downstairs, I handed her a dollar.  "I shouldn't have yelled, Mary.  I'm really sorry."  It is my policy that, if anyone in the family yells, we have to pay the other person a dollar.  Kids can't yell.  But neither can parents.
    "I'm sorry too, Mom.  It was such a ridiculous thing to ask you, right in the middle of your dealing with Sebastian."
    I can't believe I said, "Duh."  That's really lame!