The scripture verse that stayed with me the most this week is from Isaiah: "Here comes with power the Lord God, who rules by his strong arm; Like a shepherd he feeds his flock; in his arms he gathers the lambs, carrying them in his bosom, and leading the ewes with care." (Isaiah 40)
All week I have been so comforted by the notion that I am a little ewe in the arms of Christ, my Shepherd.
Today, I noticed a way that God had supplied my needs. I had prayed for my daughter Annie to improve in a certain way, and she did right away, and I thought, "See, I am a tiny ewe in the arms of Christ. Thank you, Lord."
Showing posts with label A Mother's Mysticism. Show all posts
Showing posts with label A Mother's Mysticism. Show all posts
Sunday, September 9, 2018
Sunday, December 4, 2016
Gospel of Matthew--Lectio Divina
This Advent I am beginning to read through the Gospel of Matthew using the format of lectio divina. Lectio divina is a kind of prayer of Scriptures popularized by St. Theresa of Avila and other Carmelite saints. The method is to read a small portion of Scripture and silently reflect on it, one verse at a time. It is astonishing how God can speak to us through Scripture if we just create silence and stillness of heart.
I have read the Gospel of Matthew many times. But reading it this morning as the sun rose while all the children were still snoring in their beds, I was shocked by what I read. First, the Jews had awaited a Messiah, a Savior, for too long. The genealogy of Jesus mentions the deportation to Babylon. Where was God, where was the Savior, during this deportation? Where was He during all the other horrible sufferings and slaughters they had endured? The very Gospel itself is saying to me: "The Messiah came. The whole point of the Gospel is to testify to that very truth. The promise of a savior WAS INDEED fulfilled. But the Gospel is not hiding the fact that God took a long time. It is almost shouting it out. Much suffering occurred before God's appointed time for a savior. The Gospel itself is reflecting that. Please remember, Kathryn, that God chose to send the Messiah in a messy way, in a way that was not neat and punctual. God's timing uses imperfection--that's part of how God works. God's timing will often seem to us way off--too late or too soon."
I am confident that God is telling us something about Himself through this timing that frustrates us.
My conviction is that one of His favorite things to do is to show up when we have despaired He will not show up. This timing shocks us and prompts us to depend on Him. It is how we develop faith. Abraham and Sarah are called the father and mother of faith. Why? Because God promised them a son from whom a whole nation would be born, and then let them get way too old to have a child. They lived their entire adult lives well into old age, watching God not fulfill His promise--yet. They must have spent most of their days for many decades, tempted to conclude that God had failed them. Did they despair? I do not know. Probably sometimes. But eventually they saw God work His miracle of Sarah conceiving and bearing a child. But that blessing was only to be followed by Abraham being called to sacrifice Isaac. Imagine the faith necessary to tie Isaac to an alter and pull out you dagger.
This story in Genesis is a clear message from God as to how He works. He takes away everything, in order to give us something and show His hand.
I marvel at the so-called "problem of evil." I confess that I have sometimes asked, "Why does God allow this suffering? Maybe God is absent. If there were an all-good, all-loving God, He never would have allowed this to happen." But the Bible is purposeful in telling us that God always allows pain, suffering, death, injustice, and travesty, as He appears in our lives. His epiphany is always through messiness. Poor Moses received the epiphany of the burning bush, while in a 40 year exile for having committed murder! The Bible is screaming out the message: "Avoiding or preventing suffering is just now how God works!"
I can understand how an atheist might imagine an all-perfect, all-loving God, and then see the suffering in the world and conclude that such a God does not exist. But as Christians, we have to let the Bible show us who God really is. He is all-powerful. He is all-good. But He does not use that power or goodness to preserve us from pain or tragedy. His signature is to allow horrible sufferings, and then to show up and do something astonishing in the midst of it.
This impacts me powerfully. My life is messy. My timing is all off.
But the Gospel of Matthew is teaching me: that is how God works. This is His path for you, Kathryn. He is allowing all these imperfections, all these "Too late's" and "Not enough's" so that I will lay down my own sense of power and accomplishment and let God work miracles in my own life.
I have read the Gospel of Matthew many times. But reading it this morning as the sun rose while all the children were still snoring in their beds, I was shocked by what I read. First, the Jews had awaited a Messiah, a Savior, for too long. The genealogy of Jesus mentions the deportation to Babylon. Where was God, where was the Savior, during this deportation? Where was He during all the other horrible sufferings and slaughters they had endured? The very Gospel itself is saying to me: "The Messiah came. The whole point of the Gospel is to testify to that very truth. The promise of a savior WAS INDEED fulfilled. But the Gospel is not hiding the fact that God took a long time. It is almost shouting it out. Much suffering occurred before God's appointed time for a savior. The Gospel itself is reflecting that. Please remember, Kathryn, that God chose to send the Messiah in a messy way, in a way that was not neat and punctual. God's timing uses imperfection--that's part of how God works. God's timing will often seem to us way off--too late or too soon."
I am confident that God is telling us something about Himself through this timing that frustrates us.
My conviction is that one of His favorite things to do is to show up when we have despaired He will not show up. This timing shocks us and prompts us to depend on Him. It is how we develop faith. Abraham and Sarah are called the father and mother of faith. Why? Because God promised them a son from whom a whole nation would be born, and then let them get way too old to have a child. They lived their entire adult lives well into old age, watching God not fulfill His promise--yet. They must have spent most of their days for many decades, tempted to conclude that God had failed them. Did they despair? I do not know. Probably sometimes. But eventually they saw God work His miracle of Sarah conceiving and bearing a child. But that blessing was only to be followed by Abraham being called to sacrifice Isaac. Imagine the faith necessary to tie Isaac to an alter and pull out you dagger.
This story in Genesis is a clear message from God as to how He works. He takes away everything, in order to give us something and show His hand.
I marvel at the so-called "problem of evil." I confess that I have sometimes asked, "Why does God allow this suffering? Maybe God is absent. If there were an all-good, all-loving God, He never would have allowed this to happen." But the Bible is purposeful in telling us that God always allows pain, suffering, death, injustice, and travesty, as He appears in our lives. His epiphany is always through messiness. Poor Moses received the epiphany of the burning bush, while in a 40 year exile for having committed murder! The Bible is screaming out the message: "Avoiding or preventing suffering is just now how God works!"
I can understand how an atheist might imagine an all-perfect, all-loving God, and then see the suffering in the world and conclude that such a God does not exist. But as Christians, we have to let the Bible show us who God really is. He is all-powerful. He is all-good. But He does not use that power or goodness to preserve us from pain or tragedy. His signature is to allow horrible sufferings, and then to show up and do something astonishing in the midst of it.
This impacts me powerfully. My life is messy. My timing is all off.
But the Gospel of Matthew is teaching me: that is how God works. This is His path for you, Kathryn. He is allowing all these imperfections, all these "Too late's" and "Not enough's" so that I will lay down my own sense of power and accomplishment and let God work miracles in my own life.
Saturday, December 3, 2016
My New Spiritual Goal
Having just begun Advent, and thus a new liturgical year, I have made a spiritual resolution. I am choosing to work on being steady. My emotions can fluctuate a little too fast. They can go a little too low and a little too high. So, I resolve to pray for the grace to stay steady. This steadiness will build on my goals the last 2 years: faith and joy respectively. Steadiness builds on faith since faith assures us that God is in control. Rather than steadiness being a delusion, it is holy and right, an adherence to Providence's path for us, even through rough and unexpected twists and turns. Steadiness also builds on joy, since joy comes even in the midst of trials. In the past year I have come to see that God loves me so much more than I had ever realized, and I find joy in the ways He has powerfully intervened in my life, rescuing, saving and blessing me. Since He is so obviously intentional and mindful of me, I feel joy in being cared for and loved. I see this year's goal as securing the fruit of these two years of hard interior work and making sure that, rather than it going to waste, my soul is strengthened to the fullest degree for the glory of God and the praise of His name.
Last week, on the first Sunday of Advent, I was praying in Mass. I had a different spiritual goal in mind. But as I was kneeling I felt the Holy Spirit impress upon my spirit: "Steady." I thought, "Wow, this is a true prompting. I would never have come up with this word. I've never heard anyone laud steadiness as a Catholic or Christian virtue." Nevertheless, I felt it strongly then, as I do now. So, hopefully led by my loving God, I choose this virtue as my spiritual goal of this liturgical year.
Last week, on the first Sunday of Advent, I was praying in Mass. I had a different spiritual goal in mind. But as I was kneeling I felt the Holy Spirit impress upon my spirit: "Steady." I thought, "Wow, this is a true prompting. I would never have come up with this word. I've never heard anyone laud steadiness as a Catholic or Christian virtue." Nevertheless, I felt it strongly then, as I do now. So, hopefully led by my loving God, I choose this virtue as my spiritual goal of this liturgical year.
Sunday, April 10, 2016
Rescued
Theologians tend to pick a starting point for their theology, and unpack the meaning of the Gospel from that perspective. One picks becoming sanctified, another picks grace, another picks beauty, another picks poverty, another picked justice, and so on.
If I were a theologian, I would pick the concept of "being rescued." The experience of being rescued is, in my opinion, the heart of the Gospel. God rescues His people. If we do not feel rescued, then perhaps we believe only formulae or wordy doctrines. If we do not feel rescued, then perhaps we are in church for cultural or social reasons. If we do not feel rescued, then perhaps we feel strong, put together, capable of finding happiness on our own, as if to say, "I can handle this myself, thank you very much."
But no: we are weary, incapable wretches who are in tattered rags from the beating of our own sins and the errors of the world. The encounter with Christ the shocking moment in which we find Christ, seeing us, adoring us, and choosing us anyway. It is the experience of feeling loved. For me, the encounter with Christ is the encounter with someone who loves us so much that He rescues us by saying, "You, yes you, are my beloved! I want to be joined inseparably to YOU! I want to spend all of eternity with YOU!" I feel rescued from hell, in that I feel chosen for eternal life. Being a daughter of God means, despite all odds, getting to enjoy the heavenly banquet. But I also feel rescued from my many vices--I am constantly being refined, challenged, built up in virtue and polishing away my many vices. I apologize a lot. I ask for grace a lot. I have a long way to go in this process. Thirdly, I feel rescued from loneliness. I have been chosen for a lifelong love affair with God. My holy longing for companionship that will not disappoint has a real, dependable fulfillment in Christ. Fourthly, I feel rescued from culture, from society. Our culture is so wrong, and sends such distorted messages, such as the importance of wealth, reputation, power, appearance, etc. But my encounter with Christ has rescued me out of these torrential currents, and lifted me onto solid ground. As a Christian, and as a Catholic, I say yes to family life as more important than these values. I spend time with my children, watching their little plays and helping them bake muffins. I wash the floors and scrub off the sticky patches. Is this an erudite, powerful, glamorous life? No. But it is better. I have been rescued, and have been shown what actually matters in life. Thank you, Lord, for rescuing me!
If I were a theologian, I would pick the concept of "being rescued." The experience of being rescued is, in my opinion, the heart of the Gospel. God rescues His people. If we do not feel rescued, then perhaps we believe only formulae or wordy doctrines. If we do not feel rescued, then perhaps we are in church for cultural or social reasons. If we do not feel rescued, then perhaps we feel strong, put together, capable of finding happiness on our own, as if to say, "I can handle this myself, thank you very much."
But no: we are weary, incapable wretches who are in tattered rags from the beating of our own sins and the errors of the world. The encounter with Christ the shocking moment in which we find Christ, seeing us, adoring us, and choosing us anyway. It is the experience of feeling loved. For me, the encounter with Christ is the encounter with someone who loves us so much that He rescues us by saying, "You, yes you, are my beloved! I want to be joined inseparably to YOU! I want to spend all of eternity with YOU!" I feel rescued from hell, in that I feel chosen for eternal life. Being a daughter of God means, despite all odds, getting to enjoy the heavenly banquet. But I also feel rescued from my many vices--I am constantly being refined, challenged, built up in virtue and polishing away my many vices. I apologize a lot. I ask for grace a lot. I have a long way to go in this process. Thirdly, I feel rescued from loneliness. I have been chosen for a lifelong love affair with God. My holy longing for companionship that will not disappoint has a real, dependable fulfillment in Christ. Fourthly, I feel rescued from culture, from society. Our culture is so wrong, and sends such distorted messages, such as the importance of wealth, reputation, power, appearance, etc. But my encounter with Christ has rescued me out of these torrential currents, and lifted me onto solid ground. As a Christian, and as a Catholic, I say yes to family life as more important than these values. I spend time with my children, watching their little plays and helping them bake muffins. I wash the floors and scrub off the sticky patches. Is this an erudite, powerful, glamorous life? No. But it is better. I have been rescued, and have been shown what actually matters in life. Thank you, Lord, for rescuing me!
Monday, March 28, 2016
Why Christianity
Perhaps the single summation of why we ought to be Christians is: Christ became like us so that we might become like God. We are not fully ourselves until we are higher than, better than our natural selves. We are meant to be like God. But we cannot until we embrace and follow the one who genuinely reveals how a human can be so much more than human--or be fully human.
I have had a powerful celebration of Easter. I am staring in the face many ways in which I have left everything and am following Him. I have followed to the breaking point. The Catholic teachings on family life, including openness to life and the sacredness of marital love, have absorbed my whole life--I would never have six children nor would my day to day life be so infused with maternal chores and opportunities. It has been a laying down of my life for Christ. But in it, I find the resurrection. So much new life! Catholic motherhood really is a way of transcending our natural selves and living in the pattern of Christ's sacrificial love.
I have had a powerful celebration of Easter. I am staring in the face many ways in which I have left everything and am following Him. I have followed to the breaking point. The Catholic teachings on family life, including openness to life and the sacredness of marital love, have absorbed my whole life--I would never have six children nor would my day to day life be so infused with maternal chores and opportunities. It has been a laying down of my life for Christ. But in it, I find the resurrection. So much new life! Catholic motherhood really is a way of transcending our natural selves and living in the pattern of Christ's sacrificial love.
Saturday, March 26, 2016
Servants
I was bowled over this Holy Thursday as we celebrated Jesus washing the feet of the disciples. The disciples had been clamoring--who is the greatest among us? Jesus answered their question that night: whomever is the servant, the maid, the butler, the handyman, the janitor, to everyone else.
He really did tell us that the greatest are the ones at the bottom, who serve. He really did tell us to become servants. He really did tell us to see the loftiness of those who serve.
What I love about this message is that all people are of infinite worth: those serving, those served. Jesus told us to become servants. But He also showed great homage to those whose feet He washed. Everyone on His paradigm is incredibly important. No one falls through the cracks on His schemata. He shows us all how to find value: to see Him and those whom He loves in all people.
Mothers--don't you see yourself in that picture? Don't you wash the feet--and diapers and clothes and washcloths and towels and napkins and placemats and so forth--of others every day?
Jesus loves mothers. He exalts our vocation!
He really did tell us that the greatest are the ones at the bottom, who serve. He really did tell us to become servants. He really did tell us to see the loftiness of those who serve.
What I love about this message is that all people are of infinite worth: those serving, those served. Jesus told us to become servants. But He also showed great homage to those whose feet He washed. Everyone on His paradigm is incredibly important. No one falls through the cracks on His schemata. He shows us all how to find value: to see Him and those whom He loves in all people.
Mothers--don't you see yourself in that picture? Don't you wash the feet--and diapers and clothes and washcloths and towels and napkins and placemats and so forth--of others every day?
Jesus loves mothers. He exalts our vocation!
Sunday, March 20, 2016
Motherhood as Christological
"Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus, who, although He existed in the form of God, did not regard equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied Himself, taking the form of a bond-servant, and being made in the likeness of men. Being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. For this reason also, God highly exalted Him, and bestowed on Him the name which is above every name, so that at the name of Jesus EVERY KNEE WILL BOW, of those who are in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and that every tongue will confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father." (Philippians 2:5-11)
Isn't this just like motherhood? Who among us has not emptied herself, stepped aside from who she could have become, pour out all she might have done, and given herself up for another? Aren't we slaves of a sort, until our children are on their feet?
Yet it is not self-immolation. It is not self-degradation. It is not poor judgment. No, it is Christological. It is being like Christ. And in becoming like Him in His death, we hope to become like Him in His resurrection.
Isn't this just like motherhood? Who among us has not emptied herself, stepped aside from who she could have become, pour out all she might have done, and given herself up for another? Aren't we slaves of a sort, until our children are on their feet?
Yet it is not self-immolation. It is not self-degradation. It is not poor judgment. No, it is Christological. It is being like Christ. And in becoming like Him in His death, we hope to become like Him in His resurrection.
Thursday, January 28, 2016
What is your scourge?
I had the most wonderful conversation with a mom today. She was telling me about her husband who is not Catholic. She has never pressured him, and is grateful that he attends Mass faithfully each week and supports her being a Catholic mom. But she sees herself as struggling, compared to Catholic families who are all Catholic.
"The strange thing is," she confided in me, "My youngest son is considering the priesthood! I am shocked. But he draws pictures of himself in the hand of God. I asked him whether he wants to be a priest, or whether he feels God talking to him, calling him to be a priest, and my son said, 'Both.'" She teared up: "This is astonishing to me! I did not realize we were on that path!"
She did not realize that they were on that path, which means she did not think they were "Super Catholics." She thought of her family as barely passing as Catholics, just grateful that her husband cooperates with going to Mass.
But I thought to myself: "Isn't that how it is? God gives us a cross, a scourge, something that keeps us very, very humble. Then He can work with us."
As the New Testament says: "Humble yourself in the sight of the Lord, and He shall lift you up." We are truly lifted up, only when we are humble. And often, He is generous enough to give us a scourge the helps us to be humble. He offers it as a gift: our child marrying a non-Catholic, a divorce, an illness, a death, a disfigurement, a disorder, a mental illness. He offers us these scourges, not to harm us, but to help us see that we are not perfect. Oh, how horrible it would be if we thought we were! We would be kept from "being lifted up!" God allows us our crosses, out imperfections, our embarrassments, in order to make us saints. Funny how we think we have to be picture perfect to be saints. Actually, we have not to be perfect, in order to be saints. Thank you, Lord, for our scourges!
"The strange thing is," she confided in me, "My youngest son is considering the priesthood! I am shocked. But he draws pictures of himself in the hand of God. I asked him whether he wants to be a priest, or whether he feels God talking to him, calling him to be a priest, and my son said, 'Both.'" She teared up: "This is astonishing to me! I did not realize we were on that path!"
She did not realize that they were on that path, which means she did not think they were "Super Catholics." She thought of her family as barely passing as Catholics, just grateful that her husband cooperates with going to Mass.
But I thought to myself: "Isn't that how it is? God gives us a cross, a scourge, something that keeps us very, very humble. Then He can work with us."
As the New Testament says: "Humble yourself in the sight of the Lord, and He shall lift you up." We are truly lifted up, only when we are humble. And often, He is generous enough to give us a scourge the helps us to be humble. He offers it as a gift: our child marrying a non-Catholic, a divorce, an illness, a death, a disfigurement, a disorder, a mental illness. He offers us these scourges, not to harm us, but to help us see that we are not perfect. Oh, how horrible it would be if we thought we were! We would be kept from "being lifted up!" God allows us our crosses, out imperfections, our embarrassments, in order to make us saints. Funny how we think we have to be picture perfect to be saints. Actually, we have not to be perfect, in order to be saints. Thank you, Lord, for our scourges!
Monday, January 4, 2016
We Receive What We Ask
"Beloved: We receive from him whatever we ask, because w keep his commandments and do what pleases him. And his commandment is this: we should believe in the name of his Son, Jesus Christ, and love one another just as he commanded us. Those who keep his commandments remain in him, and he in them, and the way we know that he remains in us is from the Spirit whom he gave us."
(1 John 3:22)
We receive what we ask from God when we 1) believe in the name of the Son of God, Jesus Christ; and 2) when we love one another as he commanded us.
Believing in the name of Jesus--is this just for the fundamentalists? Is this just what the traditional or conservative Christians do? No. It is straight out of Scripture. If we want a new, wondrous life, a life lived as a new creation, as a child of God, so that whatever we ask of God our true Father, we receive, we need to do as John says. We need to profess the name of Jesus Christ, and love everyone--God, our friends, and especially our enemies. Then we are living as a child of God.
(1 John 3:22)
We receive what we ask from God when we 1) believe in the name of the Son of God, Jesus Christ; and 2) when we love one another as he commanded us.
Believing in the name of Jesus--is this just for the fundamentalists? Is this just what the traditional or conservative Christians do? No. It is straight out of Scripture. If we want a new, wondrous life, a life lived as a new creation, as a child of God, so that whatever we ask of God our true Father, we receive, we need to do as John says. We need to profess the name of Jesus Christ, and love everyone--God, our friends, and especially our enemies. Then we are living as a child of God.
Monday, December 21, 2015
The Spirit of Christmas
How do you get into the spirit of Christmas? How do you stay focused on the meaning of Christmas and not let the secular, social aspect of it dominate your experience of the season?
For me this year, the answer is to consider poverty. I have areas of my life that are impoverished: I do not have enough time; I do not have enough energy; I cannot help each of my kids with all the things they want; I cannot get my duties done in a day; I find some areas of our house so ugly and I'd like to re-do them but can't; I find our house itself, well, impoverished.
But then I think of how Christ made his entry into the world. Why did God enter the world in poverty? It is absolutely astounding. God is shouting a message to us. God is dramatically trying to get our attention with this story of Christ being born of poor, dislocated woman, in a cave sheltering animals. Poor shepherds are the witnesses of human history's greatest event. It is so counter-intuitive that the almighty God would forgo luxuries, comfort and wealth which would better befit Him, or so we might think. What is God trying to tell us?
I think God is saying, "Actually, poverty better befits me." He is saying, "My nature is not pompous or arrogant or superior. Poverty leads to humility, and humility leads to love. And I am Love. So, poverty better reflects me than wealth does."
I see in this story a message about embracing poverty. Riches are often obstacles to God. For whatever reason, our fallen natures do not mix well with wealth. We need poverty on various levels to remediate our broken natures and instincts. Poverty is our friend. Poverty may be hard in the moment but it helps us toward heaven.
This Advent, I am seeking to joyfully embrace my poverty. I am seeking Christ's face in each way in which my life comes up short. Maybe God will be born there.
For me this year, the answer is to consider poverty. I have areas of my life that are impoverished: I do not have enough time; I do not have enough energy; I cannot help each of my kids with all the things they want; I cannot get my duties done in a day; I find some areas of our house so ugly and I'd like to re-do them but can't; I find our house itself, well, impoverished.
But then I think of how Christ made his entry into the world. Why did God enter the world in poverty? It is absolutely astounding. God is shouting a message to us. God is dramatically trying to get our attention with this story of Christ being born of poor, dislocated woman, in a cave sheltering animals. Poor shepherds are the witnesses of human history's greatest event. It is so counter-intuitive that the almighty God would forgo luxuries, comfort and wealth which would better befit Him, or so we might think. What is God trying to tell us?
I think God is saying, "Actually, poverty better befits me." He is saying, "My nature is not pompous or arrogant or superior. Poverty leads to humility, and humility leads to love. And I am Love. So, poverty better reflects me than wealth does."
I see in this story a message about embracing poverty. Riches are often obstacles to God. For whatever reason, our fallen natures do not mix well with wealth. We need poverty on various levels to remediate our broken natures and instincts. Poverty is our friend. Poverty may be hard in the moment but it helps us toward heaven.
This Advent, I am seeking to joyfully embrace my poverty. I am seeking Christ's face in each way in which my life comes up short. Maybe God will be born there.
Sunday, December 13, 2015
Third Sunday of Advent: Gaudete Sunday!
It is the the third Sunday of Advent, called "Gaudete" Sunday. "Gaudete" means "Rejoice!"
All four readings are unspeakably wonderful! Here are some snippets:
"Shout for joy, O daughter Zion! Be glad and exult with all your heart!" (Zephaniah 3:14)
"God is indeed my savior; I am confident and unafraid," (Isaiah 12)
"Have no anxiety at all, but . . . make your requests known to God," (Philippians 4:4)
"He [Jesus] will baptize you with the Holy Spirit and fire," (Luke 3:10)
So many occasions to rise above our circumstances and rejoice in God!
All four readings are unspeakably wonderful! Here are some snippets:
"Shout for joy, O daughter Zion! Be glad and exult with all your heart!" (Zephaniah 3:14)
"God is indeed my savior; I am confident and unafraid," (Isaiah 12)
"Have no anxiety at all, but . . . make your requests known to God," (Philippians 4:4)
"He [Jesus] will baptize you with the Holy Spirit and fire," (Luke 3:10)
So many occasions to rise above our circumstances and rejoice in God!
Saturday, December 12, 2015
Our Lady of Guadalupe
Happy Feast of Our Lady of Guadalupe! Our Lady is arguably responsible for the end of the Aztec practice of human sacrifice in the 16th century and for the conversion of the vast majority of Aztecs to the Catholic faith. Mexico is predominantly Catholic today because of Our Lady. Our Lady's sash is black, a symbol of being with child. She is a gentle, pregnant mother who virtually took over Mexico and changed its course forever. Go, Our Lady of Guadalupe! Be with us, pray for us, and help all mothers to gently change the world!
Thursday, December 10, 2015
Spiritual Goal of the Year
Each year I pick one spiritual goal to pray for and work on. I begin each new Advent, the beginning of the liturgical year, with this new focus.
Last year, my goal was joy. I am far from finished in my cultivation of this beautiful gift from God. But it was so funny--this week I was passing out the final exam for my students. One of them was staring at me, sort of quizzically. I asked him what was wrong. He replied, "Oh nothing. You're just so. . . so. . . joyful!" I laughed and thought, "What a gift from the Holy Spirit, here as my year has just finished, to have confirmation of some progress on that front!"
This year, my goal is faith. Strange--the year of faith declared by Pope Benedict a few years ago came and went, and I did not plumb the depths of faith as I felt I should. I did try--but somehow came up short.
But during my year of joy, I realized: "Joy comes from FAITH!" It definitely does not come from circumstances, which are often so hard. It does not come from our natures, which are often driven by fight or flight instincts, keeping us from joy. But FAITH: that is where joy comes from.
So I resolved that this year, I should dedicate my spiritual life to the pursuit of faith. Lord, grant me a huge increase in faith!
Last year, my goal was joy. I am far from finished in my cultivation of this beautiful gift from God. But it was so funny--this week I was passing out the final exam for my students. One of them was staring at me, sort of quizzically. I asked him what was wrong. He replied, "Oh nothing. You're just so. . . so. . . joyful!" I laughed and thought, "What a gift from the Holy Spirit, here as my year has just finished, to have confirmation of some progress on that front!"
This year, my goal is faith. Strange--the year of faith declared by Pope Benedict a few years ago came and went, and I did not plumb the depths of faith as I felt I should. I did try--but somehow came up short.
But during my year of joy, I realized: "Joy comes from FAITH!" It definitely does not come from circumstances, which are often so hard. It does not come from our natures, which are often driven by fight or flight instincts, keeping us from joy. But FAITH: that is where joy comes from.
So I resolved that this year, I should dedicate my spiritual life to the pursuit of faith. Lord, grant me a huge increase in faith!
Tuesday, December 8, 2015
Trust--In Whom Do We Entrust Ourselves?
Every one of us puts our trust in someone or something. Some people, of course, place their ultimate trust in God.
But those who do not still place their trust somewhere. Maybe they place their trust in themselves: "I am the king of my universe--I will promote my own good." Others place their trust in money or possessions. It is not "I am worth it all," but rather, "I may be a scoundrel, but I want as much pleasure and as much comfort as possible." These are different: one person idolizes himself; another idolizes possessions.
No one can escape this act of entrusting. We all do it, even if it is inadvertent or done by default.
It's interesting to me that, even if we choose to idolize ourselves, that too is a choice.
The fact that we all entrust ourselves to someone or something is an indication that we are creatures made to be in relationship. We are made, not to be an island, but to be a community. We are more like puzzle pieces, incomplete without someone or something in whom to attach ourselves. We are less like a complete, self-contained thing.
This Advent, it is my hope to meditate upon my own creatureliness, my own dependence, my need to attach myself to someone else. It is my desire to examine the choice I have made, which is the choice for God. Am I deeply attached? Or am I in need of renewed commitment and devotion? What areas of my life have I reclaimed for myself? Where can I improve in entrusting myself to the Creator and Redeemer, the Savior of the world?
But those who do not still place their trust somewhere. Maybe they place their trust in themselves: "I am the king of my universe--I will promote my own good." Others place their trust in money or possessions. It is not "I am worth it all," but rather, "I may be a scoundrel, but I want as much pleasure and as much comfort as possible." These are different: one person idolizes himself; another idolizes possessions.
No one can escape this act of entrusting. We all do it, even if it is inadvertent or done by default.
It's interesting to me that, even if we choose to idolize ourselves, that too is a choice.
The fact that we all entrust ourselves to someone or something is an indication that we are creatures made to be in relationship. We are made, not to be an island, but to be a community. We are more like puzzle pieces, incomplete without someone or something in whom to attach ourselves. We are less like a complete, self-contained thing.
This Advent, it is my hope to meditate upon my own creatureliness, my own dependence, my need to attach myself to someone else. It is my desire to examine the choice I have made, which is the choice for God. Am I deeply attached? Or am I in need of renewed commitment and devotion? What areas of my life have I reclaimed for myself? Where can I improve in entrusting myself to the Creator and Redeemer, the Savior of the world?
Friday, August 14, 2015
Spiritual Growth
A major advantage that people of faith have, people with an active spiritual life, is that, when hardships come, they have a way of coping. They might have the wisdom to see that the hardship is minor, in contrast to their many blessings. They might have a practice of gratitude. They might imagine heaven, or belonging to God, and consequently see their problems in a much smaller scale. As a result, people with productive spiritual lives are rich. They have a worthy asset. Their non-spiritual counterparts are impoverished people indeed. I always feel so sorry for secular people. They seem so miserable--judging others with a critical eye, always looking out for the protection of their mighty egos, being fixated on goods like reputation or wealth that can so easily slip through their fingers. How miserable.
It is one thing to accept hardships in our lives and not let them ruffle us too much. But it is another huge jump forward in the spiritual life to see one's hardships as blessings. To see them as the actual source of goodness in one's life (all the while remaining hardships) is a matter of spiritual mastery. How almost impossible this is to the natural self, not only to accept a hardship, but to welcome it!
The Christian faith, and I believe the Christian faith alone, affords the chance to attain this spiritual genius. The cross, according to Scripture, is life-giving. The cross, while remaining awful, is what opens heaven for people who do not deserve it. The cross is what God uses to give wonderful gifts to people who have been mean to God, who have shunned God, who have fallen short, over and over, of God's hope for them. The cross IS mercy. When a person, even a sinner, even a wretched person far from God, says, "Yes" to the cross, and "Yes" to God's mercy, then she finds immediate love and forgiveness. Then, when she has crosses in her life, she can, not only live with them, putting them into perspective, but actually welcome them, embracing them as life-giving. Crosses in our lives are sources of grace. They are fonts of humility, joy, peace, surrender, and intimacy with the Lord. The greatest spiritual wisdom is to not just accept our crosses, but actually cling to them.
God, grant me the grace I need to embrace my crosses. How desperately I need your help to tread such heights!
It is one thing to accept hardships in our lives and not let them ruffle us too much. But it is another huge jump forward in the spiritual life to see one's hardships as blessings. To see them as the actual source of goodness in one's life (all the while remaining hardships) is a matter of spiritual mastery. How almost impossible this is to the natural self, not only to accept a hardship, but to welcome it!
The Christian faith, and I believe the Christian faith alone, affords the chance to attain this spiritual genius. The cross, according to Scripture, is life-giving. The cross, while remaining awful, is what opens heaven for people who do not deserve it. The cross is what God uses to give wonderful gifts to people who have been mean to God, who have shunned God, who have fallen short, over and over, of God's hope for them. The cross IS mercy. When a person, even a sinner, even a wretched person far from God, says, "Yes" to the cross, and "Yes" to God's mercy, then she finds immediate love and forgiveness. Then, when she has crosses in her life, she can, not only live with them, putting them into perspective, but actually welcome them, embracing them as life-giving. Crosses in our lives are sources of grace. They are fonts of humility, joy, peace, surrender, and intimacy with the Lord. The greatest spiritual wisdom is to not just accept our crosses, but actually cling to them.
God, grant me the grace I need to embrace my crosses. How desperately I need your help to tread such heights!
Sunday, August 9, 2015
There's Failure and Then There's Failure
Some failure is just so good for our souls. Failing to pull it off perfectly, failing to make the impression we wanted, failing to secure the title or money or status or approval that we were longing for.
I've been begging God recently for the grace to not be prickly with people who have hurt me or let me down. I just want to be okay with shortcomings--my own, and other people's. I sometimes hold us all to such impossibly high standards! I love saying, "No problem!" even to big omissions.
But then there's failure--failing to find God, failing to give ourselves to God, failing to make time for God, failing to orient our lives around God. That is what I want to avoid at all costs.
These two kinds of failure are related: once we've given our lives to God and avoided the second kind of failure, we can enjoy the first kind of failure to an unlimited degree!
I've been begging God recently for the grace to not be prickly with people who have hurt me or let me down. I just want to be okay with shortcomings--my own, and other people's. I sometimes hold us all to such impossibly high standards! I love saying, "No problem!" even to big omissions.
But then there's failure--failing to find God, failing to give ourselves to God, failing to make time for God, failing to orient our lives around God. That is what I want to avoid at all costs.
These two kinds of failure are related: once we've given our lives to God and avoided the second kind of failure, we can enjoy the first kind of failure to an unlimited degree!
Tuesday, May 26, 2015
Learning Detachment
My very favorite lesson these days in detachment. I can suffer by my own fault, for being attached to people's opinions of me, their judgment, actions and words.
I have come to a sharp realization that all this world will be consumed, with nothing left. The only thing worth attaching oneself to is God and His mercy and His truth.
I picture the consumption of the world, and attaching myself to God in whom my safety resides.
In practical terms, getting older comes with a bit of clout. A bit of gravitas. Somehow it is easier to blow people off and not worry about everyone thinking you're perfect! I'm working like mad to be the person God wants me to be. That's enough for me.
I have come to a sharp realization that all this world will be consumed, with nothing left. The only thing worth attaching oneself to is God and His mercy and His truth.
I picture the consumption of the world, and attaching myself to God in whom my safety resides.
In practical terms, getting older comes with a bit of clout. A bit of gravitas. Somehow it is easier to blow people off and not worry about everyone thinking you're perfect! I'm working like mad to be the person God wants me to be. That's enough for me.
Thursday, May 14, 2015
Serving the Chosen Ones
For me, it is easy to be in touch with God's calling for all of us Christians when I am living a day as a homeschooling mother of six. The daily routine is so grueling, so exhausting, and yet so rich and glorious, that, to my mind, it has obvious resemblance to the death and resurrection of Christ. From my "death to self" comes new life (in faith, behavior, virtue, and education) for my children and for my family as a whole.
But when I engage in other activities for which I am trained--teaching at the university, writing a book--where is my identity as a follower of Christ and a daughter of the Father?
Paul writes to the Ephesians: "He gave some as apostles, others as prophets, others as evangelists, others as pastors and teachers, to equip the holy ones for the work of ministry, for the building up the body of Christ," (4:10).
God calls some of us to teach, to pastor and to evangelize in order that the holy ones can do their ministry! "The holy ones" are the ones who are not teachers or pastors. They are the faithful. And their work, their calling, is the most important. Those who teach and preach are servants to the faithful. The faithful are the ones who have the true calling to do the work of God.
So, as a teacher, what is my identity in Christ? It is as a servant to the body of Christ. It is in imitating Christ in the washing of the feet. It is preparing, fueling, cleansing, and readying the Chosen Ones to do their work of bringing the Gospel to their family, friends, co-workers and all home they meet and for whom they labor and pray.
Thank you, Jesus, for your example. Thank you for your witness. Please anoint me with your divine humility and build my identity in You and only You.
But when I engage in other activities for which I am trained--teaching at the university, writing a book--where is my identity as a follower of Christ and a daughter of the Father?
Paul writes to the Ephesians: "He gave some as apostles, others as prophets, others as evangelists, others as pastors and teachers, to equip the holy ones for the work of ministry, for the building up the body of Christ," (4:10).
God calls some of us to teach, to pastor and to evangelize in order that the holy ones can do their ministry! "The holy ones" are the ones who are not teachers or pastors. They are the faithful. And their work, their calling, is the most important. Those who teach and preach are servants to the faithful. The faithful are the ones who have the true calling to do the work of God.
So, as a teacher, what is my identity in Christ? It is as a servant to the body of Christ. It is in imitating Christ in the washing of the feet. It is preparing, fueling, cleansing, and readying the Chosen Ones to do their work of bringing the Gospel to their family, friends, co-workers and all home they meet and for whom they labor and pray.
Thank you, Jesus, for your example. Thank you for your witness. Please anoint me with your divine humility and build my identity in You and only You.
Tuesday, May 12, 2015
St. Faustina and Humility
I have undergone a betrayal by a friend.
But I keep imagining St. Faustina, who was so humiliated, over and over! That brings great comfort!
What is actually important to me? My husband. My children. Oh, what wonderful relationships we have. They are worth my all in all! And my other good friends. And my Mom, and my family. I love them all so much.
I have a friend, Anna, whom I love so dearly. She puts up with all of me--all my complexity, all my weird circumstances, and she is still so faithful. I appreciate her so much!!
Most of all, my love for God. I am amazed by how much He loves me, how much He gives to me. I am the most blessed person on earth!
But I keep imagining St. Faustina, who was so humiliated, over and over! That brings great comfort!
What is actually important to me? My husband. My children. Oh, what wonderful relationships we have. They are worth my all in all! And my other good friends. And my Mom, and my family. I love them all so much.
I have a friend, Anna, whom I love so dearly. She puts up with all of me--all my complexity, all my weird circumstances, and she is still so faithful. I appreciate her so much!!
Most of all, my love for God. I am amazed by how much He loves me, how much He gives to me. I am the most blessed person on earth!
Thursday, May 7, 2015
Joy
Having had a hard few weeks, it has been such a pleasure that my joy has returned!
It was yesterday, when we had our homeschool May Crowning in the park. Being around the other families, somehow, God's grace descended upon me. I felt so happy with the choices I've made, spending so much of my adult life with my children. I felt such peace, knowing that I am doing every, single, possible thing I can to give my children justice when they are wronged, mercy when they are wrong, and love no matter who they are or what they do.
Somehow, being at the May Crowning was like a mirror being held up, and I was able to see God looking at me and saying, "Keep going! You can do it!"
It was yesterday, when we had our homeschool May Crowning in the park. Being around the other families, somehow, God's grace descended upon me. I felt so happy with the choices I've made, spending so much of my adult life with my children. I felt such peace, knowing that I am doing every, single, possible thing I can to give my children justice when they are wronged, mercy when they are wrong, and love no matter who they are or what they do.
Somehow, being at the May Crowning was like a mirror being held up, and I was able to see God looking at me and saying, "Keep going! You can do it!"
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