RELIEF!

   What a relief!!  For the first time in three years, I am seeing a tiny bit of progress with Sebastian!
He is an "alpha"--our most intense, headstrong child.  I've never seen anything like it.  And I'm too old and tired to have my hardest child in my mid-40's!  Its a major struggle.  Daily.
   Well this morning, I was helping one daughter with writing a sympathy card before school.  As we diligently worked on it, Sebastian blasted into the room, shouting commands and questions at me, just being his normal, intense self.
   I looked up calmly and said, "Sebastian, ask me, 'Mom, are you available?'"  This is what I do with everyone in the house, a lovely little trick we learned from A New Way to Love (relationship enrichment program).  Don't assume people are available for you to start talking.  Stop, look, and see if they are engaged in something else.  If they might be, ask, "Are you available for me to tell you about my day/about something?" etc.  It's really very respectful and I love it since, having a husband and six kids, several people are usually talking to me at once.  So, Sebastian has heard this his whole life.  But he's never been anywhere close to using it.  I mean, he's the exact opposite.  He pellets comments and commands like he is shooting a machine gun.  
   This morning, I calmly told him, "As me if I am available."  He walked out of the room.  I kept working on the card.
   Three minutes later, when I was done with the card, he walked back in the room.
   "Mom, are you vail-LE?"
    I looked up blankly, and muttered, "Huh?"  I had no idea what his mumbles meant.
   "Mom, are you VAIL-BLE????"  He asked more emphatically.
 
    OH MY GOSH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  HE SAID IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    WAHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

19th Anniversary

  What a blessing!  Ron and I had a a whole week of celebrating, thanks to Mom and Dad who watched the kids for a weekend!  Then, on the day itself, we had a family feast.  Such a joy!  I love my family!  Thank you, Lord!

Love In Your House

"Spread love everywhere you go: first of all in your own house. Give love to your children, to your wife or husband, to a next door neighbor... Let no one ever come to you without leaving better and happier. Be the living expression of God's kindness; kindness in your face, kindness in your eyes, kindness in your smile, kindness in your warm greeting."
                                                                    --Blessed Mother Teresa of Calcutta

God's Forgiving Love

"God’s love is like that of a foolish shepherd who leaves the 99 sheep in order to search for the one that has been lost.  It is like a woman, who for the sake of one lost coin, sweeps every corner of the house and is not satisfied until she finds it.  God is like the father watching the road for his son who had squandered his share of the family inheritance; when he spots him, forgetting about his dignity, runs to meet him, embraces and kisses him.  He does not even wait until the son finishes his confession of sins but has the finest robes put on him and orders a splendid banquet. . . This festive banquet to which the sinner and the Pharisee are both invited is the central image of the Kingdom.  In Jesus’ message metanoia, a complete change of heart, and way of life, begins with accepting this invitation to God’s banquet. Accepting the invitation includes the grateful acceptance of God’s undeserved forgiveness of our sins and the adopting of God’s forgiving attitude toward those who have sinned against us.  If we do not imitate God’s forgiveness toward those who have offended us, God will revoke the forgiveness of our own sins (Mt. 18:21).  Thus, the love of their enemies becomes the most characteristic attitude of those who undergo metanoia."   (Roch Kereszky, O.Cist. Jesus Christ: Fundamentals of Christology, p. 113)  

A Great Day for Mothers

     Today is a huge day for Catholic mothers.
     First, it is the feast day of Mary Mother of God.  Today we celebrate the vocation of motherhood being re-made, given a spiritual dimension, given eternal and infinite significance.  It is the real Mothers' Day.  It is the day that I remember how grateful I am that I belong to the only Church or religion in the world that heralds motherhood as a deeply spiritual calling.
     Second, it is the first day of 2018, the year that marks the 50th anniversary of Humanae Vitae.   This encyclical is the one that reconsidered the Church's teachings on marriage and openness to life, and even in light of a changing culture, maintained the Church's ban on artificial contraception.  As such, it is the encyclical that makes Catholic mothers a new kind of saint.  Catholic mothers who adhere to this teaching are a new kind of saint, a new kind of spiritual martyr, a new kind of witness to the faith.
    For me, being open to life has been (and continues to be) a form of giving my life to God, of making an oblation of myself to God.  I have spent most of my married life pregnant or nursing, and focused on someone else at the expense of my personal interests or the development of my skills or talents.  It has been one thousand percent for other people, and negative one thousand percent for myself.  I have not gotten good sleep in twenty years.  I have lived at a frenetic pace for twenty years.  I have not thought about myself for more than about five minutes at a time for twenty years.  Like so many other Catholic mothers, I am the seed that fell to the ground.  My accomplishments are unrealized.  My hopes and dreams are unrealized.  My personal gains are unrealized.  That is all because of the Catholic Church and Humanae Vitae.
    But as the Scripture says, the seed that falls to the ground dies, in order to bear fruit.  The Catholic Church teaches her mothers how to be like Christ, how to carry crosses with Christian dignity, how to give our lives in self-donation for the good of others.  Yes, my self-absorbed self did not get what it wanted.  My ego did not get its appetite satiated.  The dreams confined to my myopic vision did not get realized.  But I have received a broader vision.  I have happened upon new goals.  I have chanced upon new dreams.  And they are better.
    The Church is a good mother to her mothers.  The Church helps her mothers establish lasting impact and have meaningful lives. If only we succumb to her guidance, we may find lasting happiness.
   And one day, we will get some sleep.

Called to Love

"Our hope is that the winter of humanity will gradually be transformed to the bursting forth of love, for it is to this that we are called." --Jean Vanier

Secret Genius of Catholic Motherhood

      I have a restless yearning.  It follows me, leads me, is ever-present with me.  It is that Catholic moms come to a fuller understanding of who they are.
      I have a hunch that the vocation of Catholic motherhood is yet to be rightly understood, that it is like a jet sitting on the runway.  Catholic moms are living out the Gospel simply and quietly, and yet so much more powerfully than most people on earth.  Their deep levels of sacrifice and their unique conformity with Christ are like the leaven--unseen, calling no attention to themselves, yet powerfully impacting the whole Body of Christ.
     The Church is aware that she does not yet appreciate the vocation of motherhood for all its Christological significance.  She says that the various roles of the laity, including motherhood, are not yet understood: “The Council considers the condition of the laity. . . a reality destined to find in Jesus Christ the fullness of its meaning” (Christifideles Laici).  In other words, meaning of the roles of the laity are not yet fully appreciated, and only one day will be when they are comprehended in light of Christ.
    The Church goes on to say that the role of mothers is just waiting to be revealed: We need to engage in “the task of bringing full dignity to the conjugal life and the experience of motherhood.  Today new possibilities are open to women for a deeper understanding and a richer realization of human and Christian values implied in the conjugal life and the experience of motherhood" (Ibid).
    My prayer is for Catholic moms discover the secret genius, the unspoken brilliance of motherhood.  Only then will our vocation be launched, set forth into the Church and world.

Our Christmas Miracle

     Some people experience great manifestations of God's love and power on Christmas.
     In our family, this year's Christmas miracle was this:

Snowman poop.
Ron got this as a gift for Sebastian on the Feast of St. Nicholas on Dec. 6.  Sebastian had found it in his shoes, placed by the door next to his sisters' and brother's shoes, alongside a few other pieces of candy.
The miracle is that Sebastian has neither eaten all the "poop" nor lost the "poop."  He carries it around faithfully, never leaving it out of his sight for more than a few minutes.  Who knew that this little vile of happiness would so capture a young boy's heart.  Would that, one day, he would hold his love for God so dearly!

Blessed Christmas

Unplugged and Off the Grid

   Unplugged, unreachable.  It was heaven.  I got to be at Christ in the Desert monastery in Abiquiu, New Mexico last week.
   Jake had asked to go on a week-long retreat, discerning his vocation.  Ron and I said yes, and then had to figure out how to pull it off!  It turned out that I went with him, while Ron finished work and took care of the other kids.  Then Mary joined us for the last few days.
    Such beauty.
    It is a holy place.

I'm on a mission

     I am on a mission.  It's a motherly mission.  I am on a mission to be a vital part of the kingdom of God through my vocation as a mother, to see my six children get to heaven, and to help them find their ways of flourishing in God's kingdom.     

    Today, my oldest son and I are driving to Christ in the Desert Monastery in Abiquiu, New Mexico. We are going to be with the Benedictines who live a radical faith--prayer that begins at 4:30 am, silence, and fasting.  

    I pray that, in the holy presence of this community, sharing for a few days in their life that gets to the root ("radical" means "from the "root") of Christ's life, that I will be purified, strengthened, and emboldened to live out God's dream for me and my family.  

Real Faith

   Real Christian faith is summed up in these words of Ignatius of Antioch:
"Let us . . . see who can be the more wronged, the more cheated, the more rejected, in order that no weed of the devil might be found among you, but that with complete purity and self-control you may abide in Christ Jesus physically and spiritually."  (Letter to the Church at Ephesus, 10)